Umm Sulayem (ra)

The pungent aroma of dark-roasted freshly perked coffee hit me when I walked through the door into the cafeteria. I was drawn to the warm, buttery, creamy, chocolatey caffeine but a navy blue parka doing the jumping jacks caught my eye. 

Johana: Over here!
My friend waved at me with a slice of crisp baked pizza with warm melting mozzarella cheese and sweet rich ripe tomato sauce in her other hand. Pizza at 9 in the morning? Yup, those are my friends alright. We live for the vivacity of junk food at odd hours of the day and night. I walked past the pywood tables with attached benches to where my friends yammered madly. Ecstatically, drunk with pleasure, they spoke in delusion of their beauty, in the pride of their youth, in the cloud of their perfection. I love my friends but I cannot agree to their love for money, ease, and material luxury. Don't get me wrong, they are nice people, they are capable of affection but not of sustained loyalty or care.

Shela: So then she was all I dumped him. And I was like ... WOAH Oh no you di'int!"
Brittany: Talk about a major blast! The guy had it coming
Jenna: He was like a cheap amorphous glop passing for turkey with mashed potatoes.
Katie: I think I'm gonna puke!
Holly: I know he was gross! I would never go out with someone like that. And to think he said he would marry her!
Brittany: Yeah, I know O my God!  Like he is such a nerd! How could she not see that?
I: Stop picking on Mike guys. He is one of the smartest boys in school. Watch, he'll graduate with a scholarship next year.

Heather broke up with Mike because he didn't get her anything for her birthday. But hello! He gets her something like every week! What else does she want from him? Given that Heather was a charming and graceful girl, she was also fickle, shallow, bored, and sardonic. In fact if I could describe our group of gals in two words, I would say: careless and spoiled.

Shela: O please, here comes the blind idealist.
Katie: You are too nice gal. I feel sorry for ya.
Brittany: If you are into grades so much then Mr. Vink would do?
I: [flushed red with anger] Mike is tolerant, open-minded, quiet, and a good listener. Who else would y'all want for Heather? Okay so he is not Ashton Kutcher but Kutcher is so grotesque and stupid.
Jenna: Stupid? Stupid? No you d'init gal.

I couldn't argue with their overarching cynicism and greed. I knww behind my back they all scorned at me with their reckless jubilance that led them to decadent drug parties and wild rap music in gaudy clubs.

I: [sarcastically] kidding, lol. The guy wears  pink and drives a pink lowrider car [smirks], who can top that? [like EWWW] Tell Heather I love her, see y'all in class.

I tried to act bored with life sometimes, to play the part for them but I couldn't act foolish. The older generation valued subservience and docility in women while our generation values thoughtless giddiness!

Vladimir [about Anastasia], "She certainly has a mind of her own."

Dimitri, "yea I hate that in women." - Chauvinist much? >_<

This blog is named after Umm Sulayem (r.a), a Muslim woman who had a mind of her own. When I was in high school, I didn't know much about the companions (r.a). I don't remember now exactly who told me about Umm Sulayem (r.a) first, whoever it was ... jazakAllahu khairan because she has been my role model ever since. From the moment I heard about her, I was impressed with her the strength of her character, her intelligence and lofty aspirations with respect to the choices she made in her life.

1. Umm Sulayem was a woman from the Ansaar, married to Malik bin Nadar with a kid, Anas bin Malik. She embraced Islam before the Prophet (s.a.w) made Hijrah to Medina. In retrospect, she was a well-read and well-informed woman. She did not let her marriage or child impede her from acquainting herself with public affairs, especially comprehending religious and political issues of the time.

2. Her husband was upset with her conversion and after much altercation, he left her. So are Muslim women oppressed and forced to follow Islam? She wasn't! Islam was her free choice. She loved this way of life so much that she risked losing her husband, the man of her dreams and the father of her child for its sake. This shows that a real woman does not run after men or their material things. A real woman is sincere with Allah and Allah suffices her.

3. After her separation with Malik, she was proposed by Abu Talha, Madina's most eligible bachelor. He was a pretty boy with some serious wealth and celebrity status. He though Umm Sulayem would be over joyed to by his proposal but she rejected him saying, "O Abu Talha, do you knot know that your god whom you worship is just a tree that grew in the ground and was carve into shape by the slave of Bani so-and-so. Do you not feel ashamed to prostrate yourself to a piece of wood that grew in the ground and was carved by the slave of Bani so-and-so?" When Abu Talha tried to bribe her with  an expensive mahr and promise of luxurious life, she turned him down again saying, "O Abu Talha, a man like you cannot be turned away, but you are a disbelieving man, and I am a Muslim woman. It is not permitted for me to marry you, but if you were to embrace Islam, that will be my mahr, and I would ask for nothing from you." The next day he came back again with gifts and promise for even larger mahr. She said to him, "O Abu Talha, do you not know that your god whom you worship was carved by teh carpenter slave of so-and-so? If you were to set it on fire, it would burn." Abu Talha was so shocked by her words. Is his god so futile that it could be set on fire and disintegrated helplessly before his eyes? A god that cannot create itself or sustain and protect itself, how can it be of any support and help to him? He embraced Islam on the spot. Umm Sulayem (r.a) was flooded with happiness. They got married and Abu Talha (r.a) gave his entire wealth to her as his mahr. But she did not accept a penny. As promised, she married him for his Deen so she took from him only his Deen. 

There can be no better friendship and equality between  two people except on the basis of Islam. Because the two like each other for their Deen; they believe in Allah and they have befriended Allah. Their loyalty, love and closeness is postulated by their persistence and regularity in performing actions of obedience to Allah. They love what Allah loves and hate what He hates. They are pleased with what pleases Him and they are angered by what angers Him. They command what He commands and they prohibit what He prohibits, they give to those whom He loves to be given and they withhold from those whom He loves to be withheld from. So their bond is the most strong because it is tied upon their faith in Allah and not material things. 

Lets see the example of one of our greatest scholars.  How did Imaam ibn Taymiyyah (rahimaAllah) become an authority on Islam? What did he do that made Allah favour him with scholarship of almost all Islamic knowledge? Not only that but he was a daring soldier and successful reformer.
Al Bazzar said about Imaam Ibn Taymiyyah (rahimaAllah) that, "I have not seen him mention any of the pleasures and attractions of this world, he did not delve into worldly conversations and he never asked for any of its livelihood. Instead he directed his attentions and conversations to seeking the Hereafter and what could get him closer to Allah." 

Ibn Taymiyyah once said to Muhammad bin Qalawun, "By Allah, your kingship and the kingship of Moghul i snot even worth two meagre coins in my eyes." 

Al Bazzar also said, "he would not talk to anyone unnecessarily after the prayer of Fajr and would remain performing the dhikr of Allah in a low voice." 

Imaam Ibn Taymiyyah (rahimaAllah) himself used to say, "The more the servant loves his Master, the less will he love other objects and they will decrease in number. The less the servant loves his Master, the more will he love other objects and they will increase in number."
So what was the common theme in Ibn Taimyyah's life? Interest in no one other than Allah and complete reliance on Him. See how unshakable was his commitment to Allah? He did not let a single thing from this world come in between. Not a single person (not even his mom) or material ever held his heart. He lived in a simple house, walked every day to the Masjid where he studied, worshipped and preached. He took one meal a day and walked back to his house for the night. When he was free he would do dikhr and Adhkaar. No Rolls Royce and no Signature Classic Superfine Merino Wool Suit. 

This whole religion revolves around knowing the truth and acting by it, and action must be accompanied by patience. I like Umm Sulayem because she was patient for her Deen.  She adhered firmly to the threshold of servitude to Allah, even at the cost of her husband. We do silly things for our friends - watch music videos, chill in the mall, take pictures, spend hours procastinating Salah ... facebooking etc. The perfection of tawheed is found when there remains nothing in the heart except Allah. The heart finds everlasting bliss and sweetness in Allah's guidance and His knowledge knowledge. Then its objective becomes to leave all that harms it in the Hereafter and do all that benefits it in the Hereafter. 

This blog is dedicated to Umm Sulayem (r.a) because I want to become like her and not like Daisy Buchanan (Great Gatsby), with amoral values and terrifying spiritual emptiness. The Deen can make you a passionate and active, sober and reflective woman. What can Jimmy choo golden shoes and chic mustard yellow empire dress offer you? A lifetime imprisonment to desires, chained to sin? Hurting your own soul? Don't do this to yourself. Find better friends in the biographies of companions of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).