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Thursday, September 12, 2013

The Choice of A Lifetime - Dedicated to My Mom

The 20 something Muslim women today are college going, far reaching, career oriented, switching between diets and fashions…seeking heartfelt romances and lasting adventures. We don’t have time, and nor do we aspire to become diaper changing, food-making, laundry-folding, messy moms and boring housewives. The truth is, many of us are running away from these labels. Being a mom and a wife is definitely not the highest paying job in the world; it is also not the most respected job in the world. What will my friends think if I told them I want to get married and raise a family after graduation? They will think I am a no-brainer, pathetic, loser!

A mother’s routine may feel very mundane but her impact on society is massive. The geniuses, the philanthropists, famous celebrities – anyone who has ever made a positive difference in the world was once a child molded into a meaningful person by his or her mother. Christina Pirello wrote for the Huffpost, “Children are living messages we send to the future.” And rightly so, we are all by-products of our mothers; vessels for their values and manifestation of their goodness.

If we go down memory lane and recall all the little things our mothers did for us, we would only feel so lucky to fill their shoes one day. Who fried us smiley faced eggs? Cut out our cards, decorated our room with pink or blue? Who dressed us up and waved us good-bye every morning? Our mothers filled our love tanks all the way to the top when they downed us with chocolates and encouragement. Our mothers are the women who brought faith into our lives. I know I would have never learned how to recite the Qur’an or understand its meaning if not my “Ammi”.  It’s a lifeline that still connects us. We take inspiration from our mothers to wear the hijab, to forgive and work hard.
I guess what I am trying to say is that it takes courage to be a mom – to endure the pains of pregnancy and labour, to nurse a sick and wailing baby till 2 a.m. it is mind numbingly boring and maybe even a tipping-point for some to burp, change, sleep, feed and repeat. But don’t let that fool you – being a mom will always be the bravest, utterly challenging and most difficult, full-time career anyone can never have. Mothers are mighty warriors, they are superheroes of human civilization: purification of our souls, preservation of our morals and goodly education cannot happen without our mothers' shelter, their prayers, sacrifices, watch and well-wishing. I am proud of mothers everywhere and awed by their commitment. I don’t buy it for a second that their job is ordinary. The highest reward in Islam is not for doctors, engineers or lawyers; near Allah, mothers make the claim to the biggest pay cheque - Paradise. We all know too well the hadith of the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) that “Paradise is at the feet of a mother” (Al-Tirmidhi). Society may no longer give due credit to mothers for their contribution but Allah has enjoined reverence and gratitude to their position for eternity.  


According to Child Welfare Committee 2004, nearly 100,000 children live without their parents in some form of shelter homes or government custody. This number does not include children who spend a majority of their time in day-care facilities or in front of television and computer technologies. What happens to children when they do not receive their mothers’ attention and love? According to Mental Health Canada, an estimated 10%–20% of Canadian youth are affected by a mental illness or disorder. The number of 12 to 19-year-olds in Canada at risk of developing depression is 3.2 million. Ontario Association of Children's Aid Societies states, “Only 41% of children who do not receive direct attention and care from parents graduate from high school as compared to 81% of children who do.” It is safe to conclude that without a mother, children are more likely to become sick, regress and engage in delinquent behavior. It seems only women can bring an end to the violence, ignorance and chaos rampant in the world today by simply being good mothers. 

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