Holidays mean more work!

My last day of work for the year was last Friday, you would think I feel relieved! Sadly no because now I must dedicate more of my time to studying. Term 2 is starting in January and although it is not mandatory, it means as a teacher I have to prepare lessons till June. This makes my life more miserable, in the sense that I have to work for the next hundred years. I have a tentative plan: for January we'll work on learning the Names of Allah using posters, flashcards and case studies. I have these cute cut outs of the Names of Allah to put around the white board. February will be dedicated to the life of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) [Makkan period for grade 7, and Medinan period for grade 9]. In March I will be using Shaykh Saleh al Fawz's Islamic Jurisprudence vol. 1 to teach Salah. April will be the month for discussing hijab and modesty - right before summer when people start shedding ... clothes! This all in my head so far, not on paper yet. It depends on when I wake up in the morning and how my mood copes up. It may in fact involve a lot of sitting down and the end of my workout plan as I know it.  

Which brings me to my university drama for next year. I've missed two exams from the previous semester because of bronchitis, so I cannot take a full course load (5 courses) in the upcoming winter semester. On top of which I am a semester behind as it is (first and second year I took only 4 courses per semester - so I have to make up for 4 courses), plus two more courses now because of bronchitis. I’ll have to work extra as well to pay for my tuition and pay my zakah? I think I'll have to do a second job? When is a girl suppose to have any fun with all this work? I am a lot more tired, sleep deprived ... starved! I have realized this is all part of growing up and taking responsibility. Independence isn't cheap folks. You literally have to break sweat ... your back ... your feet...your voice!

I enjoy making the curriculum though, and teaching is really self-motivating. Telling kids about the Deen leaves me pumped up and it energizes my emaan. I come out of class with goosebumps every time. I re-live the ayaat and ahadith I teach, alhamdulillah! It is the best job in the world, I would say. Then there is the grading that absolutely bores me. I never thought a pile of paper could instill so much dread and depression. I am trying to make it fun by putting stickers. Needless to say, every job has its perks and ... dark side?

I wish I could have time to myself, like read the books I really want to - not because I have to make an assignment or write an essay on it, read them for fun. I feel like I haven't read a really good novel in ages. All the course novels that I have had to read this past semester were written by lesbians or authors who committed suicide. Having said that, I have all these novels which I need to sell now in order to purchase new textbooks for next semester. I am so bummed out because the re-sale value of books is so low. You spend $50 to buy a used book and six months later, people don't even want to pay $5 for it. 

I wish I had more time for ibaadah. Especially at university, I feel I am just rushing through wudu and Salah. Wudu really refreshes me - its like taking a mini shower. Taking the extra minutes to offer Sunnah also helps me slow down and catch my breathe during the day. My relationship with Allah is the most important relationship I have, yet I have so little time for it :(  Salah is our greatest privilege but also our greatest failure. All of us need to learn to pray Salah more and to pray better. But one of the reasons why we don't pray better is because we don't trust that Salah actually benefits us. We don't pray Salah to impress Allah or inform Allah. Then why do we pray? 

• We pray Salah to invite Allah to give us the joy of administrating our lives smoothly: our work, our families, our health more peacefully. We cannot do this without Him. 
• Salah allows us to lean on Allah, to not take continuous stress but to ask Allah to help us with our responsibilities, guide us and favour us with more blessings. 
• Salah allows us to not take Allah's blessings for granted but always maintain a humble and appreciative attitude. 
• When we offer Salah, Allah is growing us - in faith and in good conduct.  
• Salah binds us with Allah - and this is my favourite part. When I feel like I have no one, I know that I have Allah and hasbunAllaha wa ni'mal wakeel :) 

On a side note, I was able to manage a day of shopping on Boxing day! All stores were covered with decorations - I love ornaments, crystal balls, streamers, lights. I wish we were half as festive for Eid. By the way, at the dollar store they already have hearts everywhere. We are barely through Christmas and now they are jamming Valentines down our throats. I guess it should motivate me to do some love themed lesson planning. I am actually excited about the content I am preparing. Now, I only need to find the strength to put my ideas onto paper.

My husband has been very helpful in the kitchen, alhamdulillah. The only thing I am battling against with respect to my apartment is cleaning! I have always been an organized freak. I am a list-o-holic. But I hate folding and hanging clothes. Then I can't study if my apartment looks all messed up. So I try to clean during my study breaks - take out the trash, do the laundry, mop the floor, vacuum. Sigh ... the joys of life!

Make duaa for me.