'Tis is the season to go shopping

Let's be honest - even if we are not mall crazy for most of the year, the Christmas season brings out the shopaholics in all of us. Every year, we are lured into beautifully lit stores, the aroma of  caramelized brown sugar, molasses, vanilla and cinnamon sweets tugs at our feet, pulling us towards its direction and the finest sales on cashmere coats, scarfs and stilettos calls out our names. Shopping during the holiday season has become so ingrained in our culture, that it even plays a key role in the RIS Convention (Reviving the Islamic Spirit Conference), which has nothing to do with Christian history or tradition. 

In this day an age, religion is driven by commercialism, rather religion has become commercialism. I am afraid Christians have substituted God with Santa Claus who serves as a front for guilty adults who ignore their spouses and children for most of the year. Christmas has become a charades of presents, dinner tables, winter scenes and elves. Muslims are also guilty of lusting over material things during Ramadan, the only difference is that we use fewer lights and décor. Even for the 20,000 Muslims at RIS this year, the focal point of worship shifted from God and Islamic scholarship to the food courts and shopping bazaars.

It is not difficult to recognize that shopping, in itself is not to blame. We need commerce and sales to create jobs and to sustain ourselves. I am grateful that I live in a an economically thriving part of the world because it means my family is well provided for, alhamdulillah. So I am not writing off shopaholics as bad people. What am writing about is the demerits of shopping out of envy or covetousness. Envy and covetousness are two dormant volcanoes which become especially active with holiday sales'. We need reflection and meditation over Allah's Words, the Qur'an, to overcome the sins of envy and covetousness. 
Envy is begrudging another person's blessings. Envy enters when we see someone else happily buying things we do not have, we feel ourselves called into question. Then, out of hurt of our wounded self-esteem, we covet the same things to make ourselves feel better. Envy asks, "Why should I not enjoy what others enjoy?" and translates into dark, evil, competitive selfishness. Envy is the sin that caused Iblis to disobey Allah; it took the life of Habil. No doubt, envy impedes our growth to spiritual maturity and inspires destructive behaviour. 

Like most men, my husband is completely anti-shopping, he doesn't like the stress of bumping into people at the mall or the cultural pressure to spend a lot of money during holidays. Instead of spending 15 hours trying to find and wrap gifts for everyone, doing groceries then cooking for a banquet, which is what I like to do, he prefers to spend that time with loved-ones - talking, swapping old stories and sharing laughter and warm hugs with the kids. We are learning that real relationships are based on hospitality as much as they are based on fully-devotional, heart-to-heart conversations and cuddles.

However, when some of us see crowded lines at the cash register checking out Stand Mixers, Tassimo Coffee makers, and 65'' Cinema LD TV at 50% discount, we are overcome by envy and we run to the mall. Truth be told, finding a parking spot in an ocean of cars, wrestling against a wave of shoppers to reach the end of an aisle, then coming home to realize there is no room to make space for the new purchases. And that we have spent well beyond our means is a headache (or heartache depending on who paid) no amount of Advil and self-loathing can cure. 
Among the top contender of issues causing marital problems is shopping and party planning. Many times, the wife spends too much money or overcomits herself to a social event which spurs unnecessary arguments with the husband. Trust me ladies, you will not enjoy any sliver sterling or t5i when it causes bitter fights at home. Your marriage is more sacred than what money can buy and the guests you wish to impress. Do not stress and strain your beautiful relationship with your husband with your insatiable desires for more things, better things, things your friends have that you complain you'll never get.  By complaining, you are causing your husband immense pain. You are not only criticizing him but also Allah who decreed his rizq (finances). 
The burden of bills, the household and your personal necessities falls upon your husband. Support him in taking care of you by being thankful and prudent with his money. The task of each Muslim woman is to do all that she can with what Allah has given her. She is not to resent what has been given to others and is not to feel she needs to covet what others have. She is a faithful steward of the gifts, blessings and experiences that have been provided to her. 

‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar (r.a) said, "While on the Ark, [Prophet] Nooh (‘alayhis-salam) noticed an old man whom he did not recognise. Nooh inquired: ‘What brought you here?’ 
He replied: ‘I came to strike the hearts of your followers, so their hearts become with me, while their bodies with you.’ 
Nooh responded: ‘Leave O enemy of Allah.’
Iblis said: ‘There are five things that cause people to become destroyed (deviated). I will inform you of three and not of the other two’. It was revealed to Nooh that he needed not know the three, but that he should enquire about the two.”
Iblis said: ‘The two that are certain to work are: envy - I was cursed because of my envy, and became a stoned devil. And the second is covetousness (eagerness to have more) - The entire paradise was made permissible to Adam (‘alayhis-salam) . I got what I wanted from him because of his covetousness.’

Source: Ibn Abee al-Dunya in Maka’d al-Shaytaan , 65/ 44.
Posted from the Book – The Devil’s Deceptions (Talbis Iblis): By Imam Abu’l Faraj Ibn Al Jawzi, Dar as-sunnah Publishers. Page 74

The entire premise of the holiday season and RIS shopping spree is based on envy and covetousness. It conditions us to act on impulse and to feel better about ourselves with purchases. Corporations appeal to the selfish and self-centered aspects of our nature, fuelling the philosophy that excess is happiness. Happiness, self-worth and good relations can't be purchased at a store. 
Our identity and contentment in life cannot be found at the plaza or food court, it comes from within the Qur'an. Deciding to appreciate our circumstances and level of our possessions will free us from constantly trying to define ourself and mend our relations with material things. 

Alhamduillah, there is a cure for envy and covetousness. The cure is contentment. Contentment is found in comparing ourselves not with the people who go shopping everyday, but with the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) and his companions (r.a). If they were here now, they would probably focus more on helping the 805 million people without food and 750 million people without water than getting free shipping on Armani watches and Cecico apparel. There are so many charities that are neglected during the holiday season. We can root out our envious cravings by buying material possessions for the needy, paying people complements and by encouraging them to meet their righteous goals.
Contentment also comes in setting our minds on heavenly matters, by living under a constant sense of divine presence and by seeking the pleasure of Allah in all our actions, inshaAllah we can casts out our envy. True faith lifts our desires into a higher region. The more of heaven there is in our lives, the less of the earthly thigns we shall covet.