The Philosophy of Modesty

I think modesty is a breath of fresh air in this world where it seems no one knows the word even exists. I am not big on politicians and journalists who are in the business of shaming Muslim women for their modesty. Modesty is not anti-women, nor a medieval tradition. Modesty focuses on the heart and one’s intentions, then one’s clothing and physical conduct. Modesty is primarily about one’s motivations. In addition, modest dress and behaviour are also about discernment, having an awareness and integrity of oneself and of others.

Young Muslim men and women concern themselves with modesty because Allah does. The following texts in the Qur’an are primary examples of modesty. Notice how none of the verses seek to hide women or disenfranchise women:

(a)    “O children of Adam, We have bestowed upon you clothing to conceal your private parts and as adornment. But the clothing of righteousness - that is best. That is from the signs of Allah that perhaps they will remember.” (7:26)

(b)   “O children of Adam, take your adornment at every masjid, and eat and drink, but be not excessive. Indeed, He likes not those who commit excess.” (7:31)

(c)    “Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do.” (24:30)

(d)   “And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, their brothers' sons, their sisters' sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed.” (24:31)

(e)    “O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves their jilbaab- outer garments. That is more suitable that they will be known and not be abused. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful.” (33:59)

1. Modesty is not anti-beautiful

At the outset, we should take note that Allah revealed clothing to enhance the beauty and distinction of humanity from the rest of His creation (7:26). Allah wants all children of Adam (a.s) to wear clothes so that we can appear more pleasing and impressive. The force of His statement is positive: “men and women should adorn themselves with clothes.” These are not the words of an anti-fashion prude. It is a term that expresses: being ornamented, embellished, well-kept, and put in order. The apparel which best beautifies a person’s body is Taqwa, consciousness of Allah and fear of displeasing Him.

2. Modesty is about who you worship

In the context of passage 7:36, Allah is talking about how men and women should prepare themselves for gathering at Masjid. We are commanded to adorn ourselves in a way that is fitting for worship whether we are going to the Masjid or not. If we “profess Taqwa”—that is, if we desire to show Allah honour and reverence—we must dress in a way that helps us remember Allah and reminds the onlookers of Allah.  

The elite Arab culture at the time of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) was known for their gaudy and extravagant wardrobes and their elaborate hairstyles that flaunted their sexual appeal and wealth. Clothing and makeup standards to this day mimic the same bravado and facade. When a young Muslim goes to the Masjid, and by this extension, when he/she dresses to go anywhere in public, his/her apparel should reflect his/her desire seek Allah’s love and attention alone, not of others. A person’s manner of dress, or even their preoccupation with clothing in itself, is often indicative of a heart that is obsessed with physical appearance, approval from the people around more than Allah.

3. Modesty is about behavior and attitude

When Allah says that men and women should wear clothes that conceals their private areas and adorns them, the term “clothes” encompasses not just respectable dress but also demeanour, and attitude. Ultimately, what should adorn a young Muslim man and a woman is not just clothing his/her thobe or abaya with hijab but “good works.” Allah has created us to see which one of us will do the best of deeds (67:2). Therefore, we should seek to adorn our lives in works that submit to Allah in worship and do good to others, marked with ehsaan. This means modesty is what we wear because Allah is All-Seeing. In addition, it is how we act, how we communicate, and how relate to others, knowing that Allah is Always All-Aware.

4. Modesty shows sensitivity to sin

In these passages Allah says the best clothing is “the consciousness of Allah.” This intuitively translates to clothing which is decent and shamefacedness. It is talking about a demeanour of reverence, showing respect to oneself and a regard for others. It even carries the connotation of “bashful.” Connected to the term “shame,” the word implies the idea of grief over sin (fornication) that is in the world—that young men and women should be so sensitive to sin, knowing that sin is offensive to Allah, that they would never come close to trying to provoke it in others. Allah says, “And come not near to unlawful sex (before marriage/outside of marriage). Verily, it is a Faahishah (a disgusting, loathsome evil transgression and great sin against Allah)” (17 :32)

A young woman is guilty of a man’s lust if she dresses with the intention to allure him (24:31) or speaks to him flirtatiously. Allah commands young women to “….not soften in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire” (33 :32). At the same time, a young man must also account for the sin of being secluded with a woman or physically touching her in anyway: “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him not be alone with a woman who has no mahram present, for the third one present will be the Shaytaan.” (Ahmad) and “If one of you (men) were to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle, that would be better for him than his touching a woman who is not permissible for him.” (al-Tabaraani). In these scenarios, both young and women who lack shamefacedness, are guilty of treating sin lightly.

Modesty is practiced through one’s eyes and clothing. Allah has commanded men to turn their glances away from women; not stare, making prolonged eye contact or ogling at women (24:30). At the same time, women are commanded by Allah to lower their gaze in front of men and to cover the shape of their bodies with kheemar (head scarf).

5. Modesty involves discretion

From commercials to novels, a woman is often depicted as having hair dressed in elaborate braids or wavy curls, her eyes with mascara lines, her eyebrows arched over heavy eye shadow paint and her expensive clothes embroidered lavishly with flowers and bracelets and necklaces of gold and pearls hanging all over her.

There is almost nothing that a young woman is not permitted to do in order to beautify herself for her husband (24:31). Nothing is deemed shameful until she publically displays the business of her beautification. The appearance of a woman’s body and ornaments in public is not only a fashion statement, but it also communicates her personality and her values, conjuring up images of female objectification and promiscuity.

A woman’s appearance, fashion, luxury, and sexual prowess are not to be cheapened by pubic display (24:31) rather preserved as a sacred gift for the one man who wins her love in marriage.

6. Modesty is about true freedom, not repression

More often than not, modesty standards are seen as repressive, arbitrary rules that restrict a a woman’s creativity and freedom. But when modesty is motivated from the heart, the exact opposite is true. Allah says women must wear a jibaab (outer garment) over their clothes to control how they are viewed and treated. This might be better understood as “self-mastery,” being in control of one’s impulses and romantic desires while also inhibiting lustful thoughts and advances from others.

Immodesty is often a kind of slavery. A young woman may be enslaved by her desire to attract a man. She might define her worth by her fashion sense, her sex appeal, her body image, or the brand names she wears. This kind of slavery is widespread because sexual sin impacts us all, and in today’s culture, many young women fall prey to this kind of slavery. But as young Muslim women we are free from the slavery of sexual sin because we are empowered by the Word of Allah. Allah wants us to have self-mastery in our wardrobe choices, to be totally free from shallow ways of defining worth, beauty, and attractiveness. Jilbaab ensures women are noticed and appreciated for their intellect, personality, achievements and opinions. Jilbab protects women from becoming instruments of sexual sin and unrighteousness. 

Ironically, it is not just those who are scantily dressed that are enslaved, but even those who look at inappropriately dressed women because they are enslaved to a preoccupation with physical image of others, degrading their own worth by their lustful glances.

Modesty is a respectable manner of adorning one’s body and carrying oneself, born out of a freedom from a worldly definition of beauty and worth, and motivated by a hatred of sin and a desire to draw the love attention from Allah.  When it comes to the subject of modest clothing, the first question we should ask ourselves is: What am I trying to accomplish by what I wear? Who am I pleasing – myself, others or Allah?