Reflections: Father's Day

"Every Day is Father's Day"; "But being a father is not just being male! Its about love, responsibility, humility, listening, courage, and fearing Allah. The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) never hit any woman in his household; he played with children, sewed his own clothes, swept the floor yet was given immense power and authority! On behalf of sincere Muslim men, I apologize to women for any insult, abuse, pain, ill feeling or heart ache that we have caused. And I beseech you to ask Almighty Allah to forgive us and enable us to be real Muslim men at this critical point in our history. Surely Allah is the Hearer of the prayers of the oppressed and the pure of heart." - Shaykh Abdullah Hakim Quickh

The apology does not take away the shock, anger and disgust of marital/parental abuse but at least it is a step in the right direction. Husbands and fathers must stop terrorizing and/or abandoning their families and at the same time, distraught wives and daughters should get their act together. Women who are desperately dependent on men, making male, or the lack of one, the central focus of their lives, sacrifice their personality to perpetuate their relationships.

Dear Wives/Daughters,
Your desperation will not soften his heart. The more you call him and ask him to assume responsibility, the more he will run away. Trust yourself, don't be afraid of being alone and taking care of your own needs.  Our society tells us that we ought to feel unhappy

without a man. You don't need a man's heart, hand, shoulder or any other body part or even his wallet to be whole. Do not give yourself on a leash to someone, no one can take care of you or spend time with you like that. The only thing which will completely be yours' in life is your avocation and your work. Some of the most brilliant sahabiyat (r.a) and their successors did not lean on men to build a life! They were virtuous (did not give up Islamic values of modesty to fill the void), they had courage (to make it on their own) and conviction (to do something positive). I think this is the pinnacle of femininity and womanhood.

Umm Shuraykh (r.a) was a single; she used to visit women in their homes in Makkah to teach them tawheed. She also converted the thugs of Qureysh who arrested her for spreading Islam. Aisha (r.a) was single for at least 40 years after the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) passed away. Her home tutored the sahaba (r.a) and sheltered the orphaned.  Nafeesah bint Ali (r.a)  was the teacher of Imaam Shafa'i. Umm al-Kiram bint Ahmad b. Muhammad b. Hatim al-Murwaziyyah spent her entire life in Makkah as a writer and a scholar. She was the student of Muhammad b. Makka al-Kashmihini, she transmitted ahadith using his change until she died in 465 H. Umm 'Abd Allah Fatimah bint Sulavman b. Abd-al Karim al-Ansari was a hadith scholar in Damascus. Atman al-Ra'ia was Baghdadi scholar. Nawab Zayun al Nisa Bikum a queen from India. She learned under Sh. Ahmad b. Said al Hanafi. She owned a library along with authoring many manuscripts of poetry.

Find your style and aspire a routine that is fun, fulfilling and man-free. If you get involved in the work of Allah, Allah will be involved with you (Abu Bakr r.a). The one who fears Allah never feels lonely and the one who is helped by Allah never fails.
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"Ya Rabb, perfect for us our light and forgive us. Indeed, You are over all things competent." [Q. 66:8]

Aameen