What everybody wants. What everybody actually needs.

Surah 'Ali 'Imran verse 14 divulges universal human desires. Allah makes a list of things that every person wants and every person is obsessed with. Though there may be some exceptions where some individuals only want to read books or talk. However, even these people have a secret passion or a weakness. It is like we have horse blinders, we see only what we want and gun for it, mindlessly, sometimes even at the expense of our mental and physical health and our relationships. In the first part of this article, I will first talk about the most common human infatuations and fetishes and in the second part, I will discuss practical tips on how to overcome these weaknesses.

"Beautified for people is the love of that which they desire - of women and sons, heaped-up sums of gold and silver, fine branded horses, and cattle and tilled land. That is the enjoyment of worldly life, but Allah has with Him the best return."  (3:14)

What Everybody Wants

حُبُّ ٱلشَّهَوَٲتِ - One of the greatest human preoccupation is sex. We live in a very lust infested society: there are over 68 million daily searches for pornography in the US; 81.5% of all PG-13 hollywood movies feature sex and 77% of all prime-time broadcast have sexual content.
The adage "sex sells" has guided the advertising industry the world over for centuries. Back in 1871, a naked woman was first featured on the package of Pearl Tobacco. In recent years, sex is used to sell everything from airline tickets, cat food, sparkling water, to drain cleaners and iPod speakers. The media has hijacked our sexual vulnerability and throwen it into overdrive. The result is more and more kids engaging in sexual activity at a younger age, epidemic of sexually transmitted and a genocide against unborn children. Customers wasting $1.2 trillion dollars annually on goods and services they don't absolutely need. Sexual scandals have cost everything from violence against women, broken homes, illegitimate children to the Trojan war and Bill Clinton's presidency. The Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said, the worst fitnah (temptation) that he he fears for us is lust.

وَٱلۡبَنِينَ - The second thing on the list is children. For most people, their sons and daughters are their pride and joy. Often times, sons more than daughters. Some people are so obsessed that they will go through six to seven pregnancies to have a son. Sadly, others have become so paranoid and intense that they go to great lengths to assure their children's health and happiness, often tying themselves in knots. Like spend $245,000 on each child! No wonder most helicopter parents, who  engulf themselves in their kid's roster of activities are depressed; emotionally and financially damaged and suffer from failing relationships with their spouses. Hence, the cute little bundle of joy becomes the bane of their existence.

وَٱلۡقَنَـٰطِيرِ ٱلۡمُقَنطَرَةِ مِنَ ٱلذَّهَبِ وَٱلۡفِضَّةِ - Next to children, and many times in competition with children is human greed and fanaticism for money. We love our gold backed currency - we are fixated with growing our net income. We are constantly running numbers and budgeting in our heads. We are hung up on savings. We get peace of mind looking at the value of our assets. We are controlled by money to a great extent. We live for it; we kill for it.

 وَٱلۡخَيۡلِ ٱلۡمُسَوَّمَةِ - At the same time, we are equally enchanted and enthralled by fast cars. Luxury cars are a thing of beauty. Sports cars are a source of national and personal prestige. Millionaires and commoners alike, squander huge amounts of their money acquiring a stable of cars, trading in older models for a hotter newer rides and caparisoning their cars with bull bars, winches and spotlights. The gold-plated Bentleys and supercharged Ferraris renew our youth; the cars' horsepower endow us with vigour which is why we see everyone from young drivers to old retired folks risking their lives and hair-weaves in open-top BMW and Auston-martin convertibles, regardless of the weather conditions or speed limits.

 وَٱلۡأَنۡعَـٰمِ وَٱلۡحَرۡثِ‌ۗ Finally the cattle and the crop: in post-industrial world, store fronts, computers, businesses, warehouses and factories are the new crop that generates profit. Famers used to make money through cattle - now we have cash cow. Nothing is more exciting and tantalizing than the return on our investments - the fruit of our labour or cheque at the end of the month.

Allah says these passions are مَتَـٰعُ temporary, in sense that they will never bring us lasting joy. Trying to find lasting happiness in sexual partners, children's accomplishments, salary, bonuses, profits or fast cars is like drinking saltwater to quench our thirst. We will never be satiated. Even though we manage to get short-term pleasures from our obsessions, we cannot make the impermanent permanent. Our moods, appetites and dreams will remain incomplete. Sex, children, money, cars - none of these addictions will fill the void.

وَٱللَّهُ عِندَهُ ۥ حُسۡنُ ٱلۡمَـَٔابِ But what we can do is find surety and peace in knowing that Allah is something better  in the next life than the regrettable one night stand,  abusive relationships, broken hearts and sexually transmitted diseases. In the next life, there won't be challenges and expenses of parenting or the pangs of labour. In the next life, money won't rule us. There will be no work stress, bad bosses or lost opportunities. In the next life, no one will lust after Hennessy Venom GT (270 mph) or Bugatti Veyron (261+ mph) when they can fly at the speed of light themselves (it's possible, you can ask for whatever you wish and it will be granted).

To read practical tips on how to overcome these obsessions, click HERE.

Say, "Shall I inform you of [something] better than that? For those who fear Allah will be gardens in the presence of their Lord beneath which rivers flow, wherein they abide eternally, and purified spouses and approval from Allah . And Allah is Seeing of [His] servants -

What Everybody Actually Needs

ٱتَّقَوۡاْ For people who protect and stop themselves from having their passions drive them mad.

جَنَّـٰتٌ۬ The people who guard themselves and keep their obsessions in check will have multiple dense

 and alluring gardens, covered with glamorous trellises. The lowest of these gardens will be so magnificent, it will take a thousand years of journey to circumvent their distance. Trees in these gardens will be laced with exotic fruits - softer than butter and sweeter than honey. Rivers of delicious, pure and fresh drinks will flow from the gardens kissing the foot of their feet.

This comes as a great consolation for countless people who can't afford a decent three-four bedroom house because it costs $4,000,000 - not including property tax, utility bills, or monthly maintenance inside and outside the home. For the vast majority of us who don't have $34,000 for a 30' fibreglass pool plus another $15,000 for in pool accessories, electrical work, patio and fencing - alhamdulillah we have the gardens and rivers of Paradise to look forward to.

 خَـٰلِدِينَ فِيهَا When we take a beautiful vacation, we have to cut it short because it is too expensive. Delano Hilltop Estate at Laical Island Resort in Fiji costs $55,000 US per night.   The penthouse suite at Grant Hyatt Cannes Hotel Martinez charges $41,300 US per night.  A middle class Canadian and American family lives pay check to pay check. We juggle two jobs to make it through the week. We know what it is like to subsist for days on a diet of eggs and bread. We know what it is like to dread going to the mailbox, because there are too many bills to pay and seldom money to pay it with.
Paradise with its musk and saffron sand; ruby and diamond rocks. Paradise with its mansions made out of gold and sliver bricks; its hallowed pearled rooms sixty miles long. Its beds of finest green silk and gold brocade; its tissue paper more radiant than the light of the sun. Paradise with its crystal drinking cups and heavenly wines of tasneen and kaafoor  - doesn't require an elite social status, a credit history check,  a hefty inheritance or an expensive travel insurance.

 وَأَزۡوَٲجٌ۬ مُّطَهَّرَةٌ۬ Getting married is the hardest thing anyone will ever have to do. Deep within our subconscious, we all have romantic visions of Cinderella or maybe America's Sweethearts. However, marriage is not always a bride and prince charming riding off into the sunset. Many days, being married feels like Nightmare on Elm Street (a horror flick) and you are the character who keeps falling down and is screaming for her life. Even when we marry the greatest love of our lives, there is no such thing as unconditional love, or Mr. Right.

The tragedies, loneliness and grief of marriage is substituted in Paradise for a pure love and perfect partner. Azwaaj is used for both male and female spouse. It means perfectly matched counterpart. Someone who completes and compliments their spouse.
The people of taqwa, the people who are careful not to become slaves to their desires; those who exercise self-control against their fetishes ... they will enjoy a pure love and a pure spouse in Paradise; someone who is exactly according to their liking and perfect in every way. Someone they click with: someone with whom their personalities and habits are completely synchronized. Someone they are able to laugh with like with no one else. Someone with whom they feel seventeen again. Every time with their spouse is like the first time. There is no bad history, no past scars or compromises. It never gets old.

وَرِضۡوَٲنٌ۬ Paradise is a place of great peace and contentment. It is free from all disturbances of this world; tranquil and restful. Paradise is a place of mental calm and serenity. It is free from the anxieties and depressions of this world. There is no war or violence in Paradise; only harmony and concord. It is free from all earthly disorder, deficiencies and diseases. Paradise is a place of permanent gratification and fulfillment. There is forever pleasure, comfort and lasting happiness and ease in Paradise. Best of all, Allah is happy with us in Paradise; Allah is proud of us.

بَصِيرُۢ For every time we reign in our reckless desires, we honour Allah. Every time we let go of a guilty pleasure for His sake and discipline ourselves against the harmful temptations out of obedience to Him... Allah is watching us. Allah was in full view of us so He can be pleased with us one day. We are His بِٱلۡعِبَادِ   servants. He is our Lord, Master, Owner, Creator, Provider,  Protector .. it is befitting that we put His command above our senseless passions.

رَبِّ ابْنِ لِي عِندَكَ بَيْتًا فِي الْجَنَّةِ

"My Lord! Build for me a home with You in Paradise." (ameen) 

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