What If I die in my sleep tonight?

Night falls.

My gown glistens with sweat,

My skin begins to crawl.

I lay my head to rest,

Is it death standing in a cloak by my bed?

I play hide-and-seek with sleep every night.

My heart echoes ba-doom, ba-dum,

My forehead burns.

Anxiety grips by legs, I scramble arms in fright.

I suffocate in the privacy of my thoughts,

Each sinful memory assaults me like canons and shell shock.

My entire life lapsed in horrid temptations,

Every night my guilt manifests itself in nightmares and trepidation.

What if I die in my sleep tonight?

My fake facebook friends, foolish fashion trends,

How many times for shaytan I bent?

I froze my consciousness and let it slowly decay,

I complicated my life and went astray.

Tonight the sun set, what if it does not rise?

I knew in my sleep I was always going to die.

I begin to exhale my last breathes,

If only I was a little more devouted and earnest.

I tell myself to not be scared,

“Man is free the moment he wants to be,” says Voltaire.

So I fight the fabrics and fumble into prayer.

I prostrate and seek forgiveness I dared.

I am Your broken slave,

You are my Perfect Master.

You are Time

And I am a disaster.

“Love me, Forgive me,” I cry like a child.

You make me whole; my sanity You restore.

You forever I will beguile, my faith therefore reconciled.