Heart Hurts

You know that awful sensation of indigestion, when you have been in a hurry and grabbed a bite of sandwich and washed it down with a dash of water, and that hurried bite seems to feel like you have swallowed a golf ball going down the esophagus in slow motion and it is most uncomfortable? It feels like something is squeezing your wind wipe, causing a stabbing ache in your aorta and breast bone as if someone is standing on your chest, puncturing your heart and spine. Your jaws feel heavy, your stomach nauseated? It sounds like a heart attack but its an  really emotional pain of sorts. 

InshaAllah your affliction is not from a physical injury, you are not fatally ill. It is only emotional sickness over a series of events but it feels like this agonizing convulsion will strain and explode your heart. You are hurt from the wounds of betrayal and the torment of being misunderstood. For sure your misery is unjust and unbearable. 

You have cried enough times in silence then tried to make others see your point of view in anger and later frustration. But you know your pain will never subside for as long as your critics and oppressors walk freely to offend you again and again; as long as your loved ones do not empathize or as long as you do not get your revenge. 

Sound familiar? 

I feel bitter and depressed over my grievances from time to time as well. We may not let go

of the hurt for a long while, which is fair right? I mean, why should I forgive and move on when someone has made me suffer so much? You are right, it is not fair but by continuing to be sad you are inevitably increasing your pain and suffering. 
Foremost, you are allowing Shaytan to control your life. Jealous competitions and hostile relations are the provocation of Shaytan. He aggravates the believers against each other with feelings of animosity. I am not saying that you are wrong in loathing the Masjid administration or resenting certain family members for being obnoxious and absurd. But constantly reacting with malice and being peevish about everything is from Shaytan. This is why the Prophet (s.a.w) said that the inner struggle to purify our hearts is, "the Greater Jihad" because it involves fighting the whispers and temptations of Shaytan, the hardest enemy. Secondly, the negative energy of our rancour and virulence damages relations with our loved ones.  It tears them apart to see us all bruised and malevolent. They expect calmness and good will from us but we only show them our temper and irritation. We rob them of happiness and peace with our tantrums and conflicts. Our spouses, parents and friends deserve our pleasant company and good rapport.  But we push them away from us by being blue and sullen all the time. Thirdly, I am sure you do not like being bummed out, feeling sorry for yourself and antagonized.  It takes a toll on you and you would rather do something else with your heart and your life. So for the sake of ending Shaytan's influence over us, for the sake of saving our relations, and becoming a better person, we need to mend our hearts. 

How?

Step 1. How to deal with critics? 
There will always be people in your life who have nothing good to say about you. Its their nature to pry in your personal matters. They are impertinent and impolite but what are you going to do? Do not take them seriously. They are meddlesome by force of habit. If I were you, I would feel sorry for them. The Prophet (s.a.w) said that, “Whoever suffers an injury and forgives (the person responsible), Allah will raise his status to a higher degree and remove one of his sins.” (Al-Tirmidhi).





Step 2. How to deal with oppressors? 
Do not allow the feeling of sadness, isolation or hopelessness overtake you. Do not resort to physical violence and corroding hatred. The Prophet (s.a.w) said that: “Allah had ordered me to maintain ties with those who sever ties with me, and to give to those who deprive me, and to forgive those who oppress me.” I know you wish you could shout at your arrogant siblings, ungenerous parents, reviling in-laws or pretentious cousins and God knows how many other brazen people but we know that our religion does not approve this etiquette. The Prophet (s.a.w) “...was not indecent, he was not obscene, he would not shout in the markets, and he would not respond to an evil deed with an evil deed, but rather he would pardon and overlook.” (Sunan At-Tirmidhi, Book of Righteousness, Number 2016, Sahih)

It is never a win-win situation if you make your relationship with someone "you do it, I do it back" kind of thing. It is natural to feel controlled and oppressed if someone tells you what to do all the time and does not let your make your own decisions. 
First, give them the benefit of doubt, maybe they do not even know they are being restrictive. Consider negotiating: state your arguments in a logical fashion and try talking to them about it. Even if they turn you down, take it as an opportunity for round two and try again. However, if you are in a position where you can absolutely not risk speaking about the issue then be patient but with a clean heart. I know that substitution of desires sucks because it is not just something that someone is not letting you have but it is something that has special meaning for you. Maybe you can take your mind off it or  placate yourself with something else meaningful? When I cannot have what I want, I find an alternative that will make me happy. Second, it is crucial to not to become cynical. Cynicism will only hurt you and make you contemptuous. There was a time when I also despised a lot of people who oppressed me. I hated myself for not being able to confront them. I scorned them in my heart and lived in a lot of pain until I decided to let it go.  

Step 3. How to deal with your hurt?
If things are not working out the way you want, it is probably because Allah does not want those things for you. If you have sweat and cried over changing your circumstances but could not then maybe Allah  does want to change your situation. Antipathy is not the answer, acceptance is. There was a man during the time of Prophet (s.a.w) who used to forgive all the people who hurt him that day each night before going to sleep. The Prophet (s.a.w) said this man is from the men of Jannah. What do you learn from this man? It is inevitable to get hurt. Intentionally, or unknowingly, someone will walk over you, treat you like a doorknob, break your heart, ruin your aspirations, make you feel useless and repulsed almost everyday. It could be the same person each day or many people at a time. It is a fact of life. The only way you can cope with this is by not taking any nonsense too seriously. Do not let it affect you, let it bounce off of you. InshaAllah, Allah will reward you with Jannah because you were patient and did not keep a grudge. 

Step 4. How to not keep a grudge?
How do you know that you are not keeping a grudge? If you are merciful to the one who has hurt you then you are no longer letting their oppression and criticism affect you negatively. By showing mercy to them, you have proven that you have risen above dissension, the petty conflicts are beneath you. They are not for the people of your harmonious and constructive caliber. You are worth more than the problems people create, you command comfort and friendliness. You deserve better than selfish treatment so you will not heed their oppression and criticism. 
Anas ibn Malik reported: The Prophet (s.a.w) was merciful; and no one would come to him in

need except that he would promise to help him and he would give him something if he had it. On one occasion the call to prayer had been given when a desert Arab came and he took hold of his shirt and he said, “I am still not satisfied!” The Arab had alarmed the Prophet’s wives but the Prophet went with him until the man received what he wanted; then he returned and prayed. (Al-Bukhari, Al-Adab Al-Mufrad, Number 278, Hasan) Notice how the Prophet (s.a.w) did not allow the Bedouin to continue behaving rudely with him. He (s.a.w) did not put up a fight with him for being irrational rather, he (s.a.w) cooperated with the Bedouin so he could leave. Even though it cost him (s.a.w) a delay in his Salah, which is sometimes the case, critics and oppressors waste a lot of our time. Nevertheless, if we quickly satisfy them without arguing in return or feeling disarrayed, we can move on with our tasks and lives with ease inshaAllah. 

Step 5. How to forgive?

This is a hard one, I admit. How do you absolve someone of guilt of the wrong they have done to you? How do you cancel all liability off of them for their hurtful criticism? How do you remit their oppression and give up all claim to any compensation just like that? Indeed, it is very hard. 

First, I strongly believe that we are partially responsible for the good and bad that happens to us in our lives. Say you were very rich at some point in your life and now you are poor. You were a social butterfly but you are feeling alone lately. You were healthy only suddenly to watch your body deteriorate. What happened? Did someone steal your money or your opportunities? Did someone steal your friends? Did someone demotivate you to stop caring? We blame our family or friends. They are at fault for failing our fiances and social circle? I think what we have or what we loose is from Allah. No one can steal Allah's blessings from us and we cannot acquire what Allah does not want us to have.  

وَمَا أَصَابَكُم مِّن مُّصِيبَةٍ فَبِمَا كَسَبَتْ أَيْدِيكُمْ وَيَعْفُو عَن كَثِيرٍ  

"And whatever strikes you of disaster - it is for what your hands have earned; but He pardons much."  (42:30) 

From this verse we can stipulate that if there was no barakah in your salary then it may be because you are spending your earning on something haram or not spending your money to fulfill your obligations. For instance, Allah clearly states in Surah al Baqarah that He destroys all transactions based on interest and that He multiplies trade and blesses charity. This means that a person may go from being rich to poor if she is involved with interest.  Similarly, if you lost your job or your friends are not returning your phone calls and hanging out without you then maybe this is the retribution of a sin or negligence of ibadaah. Like according to the meaning of one hadith, the Prophet (s.a.w) said two people who are friends do not become distant and unconcerned with each other unless one of them commits a sin. The sin removes the fondness which Allah created between them out of His mercy. The gist of another prophetic hadith (s.a.w) is that a person comes close to Allah through performing obligatory ibadaah then draws even nearer by practicing voluntary acts of worship until Allah loves her in return and moves the people to adore her and treat her affectionately. It is implied here that a person can go from being popular, enjoying a good reputation to being completely forgotten, misunderstood and even disdained is because of disobedience to Allah or Allah of genuine effort to come close to Allah. So before we feel we are unduly criticized or oppressed, let us see if we have upset Allah to provoke our misery as a warning to renew our commitments and thereby relationship with Allah. We do not need to forgive anyone as much as we need to get ourselves forgiven by Allah first. 

Second, I strongly believe every phase of our life is a test from Allah. As kids, we were criticized by our parents. Why can't you get better grades? Why can't you be more like so-and-so? Why is your room so messy? Why do you wake up so late? You should do this! You should not do that! Why are you so thin? Why don't you loose some weight? An average Muslim in North America is probably nagged for 20 years on average by their parents on anything and everything. Simultaneously affecting us is the sibling rivalry. The brothers always get more time out of the house, less chores inside the house. They get their driving licence, they go on their first vacation alone, they start working and move out all before the sisters. The sisters get more gift money from parents to shop, they have to worry less about grades or degree. They get free rides everywhere, they do not have to take the bus. They get their own cellphones, TV and laptop in their rooms all before the brothers. Whether you grew up as a son or a daughter, at some point you definitely felt oppressed. Your parents gave all your rights to your brother/sister. Your siblings encroached upon what really belonged to you. Then you get married and the criticism is now pelted by your in-laws. They don't like the way you dress, the way you cook. They think you do not know anything or they are annoyed that you act like a know-it-all. They find you too rude or too quiet. Regardless to what you do, you cannot satisfy everyone all the time. At the same time, you feel your spouse is somethings oppressing you: husband thinks he does not get any space, the wife feels he is not giving her enough time. She is spending all the money, he is not able to save anything for the future. She is initiating all the date nights, he does not care for intimacy. If you have lived through some of these phases then you probably had wanted to pull your hair out or smash your head in the wall. This is not necessary if you reflect upon the following verses, 

 وَجَعَلْنَا بَعْضَكُمْ لِبَعْضٍ فِتْنَةً أَتَصْبِرُونَ وَكَانَ رَبُّكَ بَصِيرًا

And We have made some of you [people] as trial for others - will you have patience? And ever is your Lord, Seeing. [25:20]

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِنَّ مِنْ أَزْوَاجِكُمْ وَأَوْلَادِكُمْ عَدُوًّا لَّكُمْ فَاحْذَرُوهُمْ وَإِن تَعْفُوا وَتَصْفَحُوا وَتَغْفِرُوا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ  غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ 

إِنَّمَا أَمْوَالُكُمْ وَأَوْلَادُكُمْ فِتْنَةٌ وَاللَّهُ عِندَهُ أَجْرٌ عَظِيمٌ

O you who have believed, indeed, among your wives and your children are enemies to you, so beware of them. But if you pardon and overlook and forgive - then indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful. Your wealth and your children are but a trial, and Allah has with Him a great reward. [64:14-15]

Allah says people are a fitnah; their appraisal and abuse is from Allah's Hand. He tests us through their criticism and oppression. So no need to snap at something which is ordained by Allah or hurt yourself. No one is out to get you, no one hates you, you are not a bad person and your life does not suck. Don't overreact. Your life is perfectly stable and in Allah's control. Simply be patient, pardon and move on. Allah is Watching and offering a great reward for this fitnah. Now thats a steal deal! 
The world is a glamourous place, with countless attractions, temptations and activities. But it is a prison for the believers because we cannot have it all. Sometimes our own abilities and at other times people will chide your efforts or coerce your potential  We can either fuss and fret or forgive and continue going forward accepting the bullying and despotism as Allah's test for which is a great reward in a better place. There is nothing that you can have in this dunya on your own, by way of fighting your critics and oppressors which would compare to Allah's great reward in Jannah. The best option here is to not keep a grudge and continue dealing others with mercy in hopes that Allah will See and Appreciate our resilience with Jannah inshaAllah. 

Fried Brain

First, blanch the brain in boiling water and drain well. Then season with salt and pepper, roll through flour and fry up in salted butter until golden brown. Next, top with sautéed garlic, parsley with a squeeze of lemon. Finally, serve the brain along side creamy potatoes. Voila! Bon appetit! 

KIDDING! EWW! 

I meant my brain is fried from all the stress about exams and final essays. 

How many exams do I have this week? ONE. How many essays do I have this week? One. Simple enough?

How many pdf internet browsers am I reading to study for my exams and write my essay? SIXTEEN!

I am also chatting online with my friend who is getting married, checking texts messages from my husband and maybe keeping half an eye on my brother who is playing a video game. 

If this is not multitasking to an maniacal extent then I don't know what this is. My brain cannot take this onslaught. It feels all foggy. I am lying to myself that I can simultaneously process all this information. It is flummoxing enough look from to plough trough all the material, I don't even know if I am going to remember all this stuff. Technology has its perks but it really scatters and stresses your mind. Every time something pops up or beeps, its extremely hard not to get distracted and really exhausting and depressing to constantly shift your attention from one thing to another. It feels like I are not getting anything done for hours. 

Do you think I need a walk?

Yea I need a walk. 

Argue much? Marriage Counselling for Winter

Do you love someone too much to argue with them? Well thats what we all say. We love our parents, our siblings and spouses but more often than not, we find ourselves in a nasty argument with them. Every relationships has spats but an argument is not necessarily the best way to tell the other person how you feel. Especially if it is an argument with a loved one, it makes you feel worse, not better. Overtime arguments become ugly, things are said that cannot be taken back. Harsh words spoken in anger or frustration are remembered long after, corroding the relationship. Frequent battles embitter the fighters, no matter who wins - both wear the scars. 

The ironic thing about arguments is that we know when they are coming. After you have lived with a person for a while, you know what things will trigger an argument. So you always have a choice to argue or not. I think if you love someone enough, you would share your perspective, feelings and desires with them in a respectful way. You would give your input and your help with discretion and wisdom. I know women get really emotionally charged and we tend to run a stream of dialogue about every thought, concern and worry in our head which often results in an argument. So it is important to tailor our communication with patience and kindness so our loved one can best hear us. 
We are wrong when we think that our husbands do not listen or that they do not understand. In all honestly, our husbands hear our heart much more clearly and care about our feelings so much more than anyone else. Good communication requires having faith in the other person. Arguments ensue the moment we stop trusting the other person. This is the same person you have gone out a hundred times to memorable places to eat and have drinks (French Vanilla of course). This is the person you have taken trips with. Who has given you massages. Wrote you long letters. Had tickle fights with you. Made soup for you when you were sick and countless other things. Then how can you take the same person for granted? Yes, relationships are not Disney happily-ever-after movies, they are better! Real life is more cozy, silly, breathtaking and rewarding than Disney true-love, soul-mate fantasy if we continue to believe in and serve our partner with compassion. 

Anyway, I can't give a lecture about marriage ... I am new at this. The following is a collection of counselling videos for couples for the winter. Try and listen to them your spouse, if you get lucky - even discuss them and see how you can mould your relationship for another 500 years (thats Jannah years and counting inshaAllah). 

• How to save your Marriage in Islam and Stories of Divorce - TheDeenShow
• Muslim Marriage in Islam - TheDeenShow
• Muslim Marriage - Half Our Deen 
• A Real Love Story 

My Reflections on International Women's Day

When you look at me, 

All that you can see, 

is the scarf that covers my hair. 

My words you can't hear, 

because you're too full of fear, 

mouth gaping, 

all you do is stare.
You think it's not my choice, 

in your own "liberation" rejoice.

You think I'm uneducated, 

trapped, 

oppressed and subjugated, 

You're so thankful that you're free.
But you've got it wrong.... 

You're the weak and 

I'm the strong.

For I've rejected the trap of man. 

Fancy clothes - 

low neck, 

short skirt   

are devices for pain and hurt. 

I'm not falling for that little plan.
I'm a person with ideas and thought. 

I'm not for sale, 

I can't be bought. 

I'm me - not a fancy toy, 

I won't decorate anyone's arm, 

nor be promoted for my charm. 

There is more to me than playing coy.
Living life as a balancing game - 

mother,daughter, wife, nurse, cleaner, cook, lover and 

 still bring home a wage?

Who thought up this modern "freedom"? 

Where man can love 'em 

and man can leave 'em. 

This is not free, 

but life in a cage. 

Always jumping to a male agenda, 

competing on his terms. 

No job share, no creche facilities, 

no feeding and 

nappy changing amenities. 

No time off for menstrual pain,"hormones" 

they laugh "what a shame. 

"No equal pay equal skill, 

your job they can always fill. 

No promotion unless you're sterilised. 

No promotion unless you're sexually terrorised.

And this is liberation?
You can have your life. 

Mine - 

it has less strife. 

I cover and I get respected, 

surely that's to be expected, 

for I won't demean the feminine, 

I won't live to male criterion, 

I surrender to Allah’s standards, 

Quran my tune

I hope you see this very soon. 

For your own sake - 

wake up and use your sight. 

Are you so sure that you are right?

Talking about women is an arduous task because we can never really do justice to the topic of women. Women are beautiful, creative, intuitive. We add brilliance to life. Our smiles are the harbinger of joy. We are skilled. sauve, delightful, mysterious and hardworking. We can be simple yet unpredictable. We can be outgoing, sometimes outrageous but at the end of the day, we are kindhearted and resolute. We make the house, a home. We are the reason behind and source of men's success. We have the power to give life and raise nations. We are inseparably intertwined with the universe for its and our existence. History has been a testament to the fact that women are great. We are funny, smart, charming and accomplished. We give away so much of ourselves to others and to the world daily but receive very little acknowledgement in turn. I am very pleased and proud of the Ryerson Muslim Student Association to allow women to come together in solitude and self-reflection to celebrate women.

Especially Muslim women, who I think are a minority in this society, and increasingly discriminated against because of ... lets face it ... because of the way we dress. Our dress distinguishes us because of which we have become an easy target for growing prejudices and stereotypes. But what is unique about Muslim women, and something that most people do not know ... is that we do not accept but challenge the mandates and labels of society. We do not allow ourselves to be overly awed and manipulated by the pressures that surround us. We are gentle and polite but make no mistake, we are also electric enkindled. We are spiritual but also able minded and strong in every way. Muslim women revere themselves. We respect our bodies, our intelligence and our purpose in life. You have the examples of some really amazing Muslim women like Sandra Noe and Tina Aseffa, who live very active and vibrant lives behind the veil. Truth be told, underneath hijab and niqab, there is a Muslim woman who is wise, colourful and warm. We have so much to offer to this society...so many ideas and talents to share. I think its a shame that Muslim women and our dress are constantly misunderstood, harassed and persecuted at all levels of society, now including the government. 

Muslim women, all over the world, primarily draw their inspiration and guidance from the Qur'an. We dress the way we do because the Qur'an teaches us to do so. We are motivated by God to be modest and cover our body. Therefore, a discussion and a narrative about Muslim women necessitates touching base with the Qur'an. 

Tonight, we'll discuss some of God's teachings about women in the Qur'an. We will view the complements, the honour and the love God extends to the women throughout the Qur'an. You will see how beautifully early Muslim women were treated by men, because of the rights and freedoms God gave us. In the end, I hope leave you with a positive image and understanding of Muslim women. And a renewed commitment to appreciating Muslim women, in fact women everywhere.

What is crucial to a Muslim woman's life and her identity is her relationship with her Creator. A Muslim woman is an embodiment of her faith. Her body is a vessel of God's love and respect. The meaning of her life is worship.

I will be using the Arabic Name of God, the Name which is used in the Qur'an, which is Allah. The Arabic Name, Allah is a contraction of “Al' and “Ilah” which means The God and the Only Deity – Allah means the Only Divine, Supreme, Creator and True Owner of everything. In Hebrew and Aramaic – the languages of Moses, David and Jesus, the Name of God is Eloh or Elah. We don't see that in the Bible as much as more because of mistranslations and Greek and Latin influences but the Name of God, said by all Prophets of Judaism, Christianity and Islam is Allah.

The Muslims believe that when Allah created our impeccable universe, He sent us Messengers – men who with His message to humanity till the last Messenger, Muhammad (peace be upon him). Muhammad (peace be upon him) was sent to humanity with God's Words. The Final Speech of God to humankind is called the Qur'an. 

The women should be especially happy and excited about the Qur'an because a huge chunk of this Book, that Allah revealed is dedicated towards honouring women and preaching kindness towards us. Our gender as a draw-back, being a woman is not a demerit point in Islam. We matter to Allah and He is so concerned about our well-being and our safety that chapter after chapter in the Qur'an speaks of women, so much so that Yunne Ridley, a UK journalist convert to Islam said, The Qur'an is a Magna Carta for Women.

So finally, what is the value of women in the Qur'an?

Allah says, وَلَيْسَ الذَّكَرُ كَالأُنثَى – and the man is not like the female. Our society compare women to a men. Our worth is always juxtaposed with men. We need to walk like them, talk like them, dress like them, do their work in order for society to think of us as equal and as good as men. But according to the Qur'an, men cannot measure up to women. Men can never achieve the esteem and standard that the women hold. As a daughter, a woman is the door of Paradise for her father. As a wife, a woman completes her husand's Deen. As a mother, Paradise is under a woman's feet. So for any man to be successful in the religion of Islam and receive Paradise...he must honour and treat the women in his life with dignity.

• E.A Allen, wrote an amazing treatise on the History of Civilizations. He writes in Vol. 3 pages 444, 443 and 450 that in 1600 BC, Athens Greece – women are treated as minor, deficient in intellect, incapable of making her own decisions. The property of their male kin.
• In 44 BC, the Rome Empire - women are still the property of her male kin, bartered from one man to another for benefit. She was totally dependent. She could not own any property or wealth. She had no freedom, choice or influence even with respect to her own life. France, I believe was the first European country to give women the status of human beings in 586. Prior to this, it was assumed that a woman was without a soul.
• The Encyclopedia Britannica 1986, vol. 23 pg 64 testifies to the English Common Law, the legal system of England and Wales that legislated male authority over women well into the 18^th century.
• In their book, Marriage East and Wet, David and Vera Mace wrote in pages 80 and 81, “It would be hard to find anywhere a collection of more regarding references to the female sex than the early Church Fathers provide...Woman was represented as the door of hell, as the mother of all human ills. She should be ashamed at the very thought that she is a woman. She should live in continual penance on account of the curses she has brought upon the world. She should be ashamed of her dress, for it is the memorial of her fall. She should be especially ashamed of her beauty, for it is the most potent instrument of the devil...you are the devil's gateway: you are the unsealer of that forbidden tree; you are the first deserters of the divine law; you are she who persuades him whom the devil was not valiant enough to attack. You destroyed so easily God's image, man. On account of your desert – that i death – even the son of god had to die. Not only did the church affirm the church affirm the inferior status of woman, it deprived her of legal rights.”

One can argue, well things have changed now for women...

We can vote, we have access to education and work. We can get an abortion. We are independent.But let me ask you, is this really true?

If we can vote then how many women are there in our government today that represent us? Really stand up for women's rights....Not only is our government, composed predominately of men but men who are persistent in sexualizing and dehumanizing women. Take president Sarkozy for example. He first campaigned for the niqab ban in France. This injustice was then adopted by other European countries and now it has become a controversy in Canada. Well, many of you may not know that Sarkozy's wife was an ex nudist – a pron artist. And he is not the only one who endorses this lifestyle for women: to wear literally, nothing for the sake of man's pleasure.

And if women have access to education and work then why is that that in 2006, female graduates on average earned 15% less than men for the same work when they were 25 years old. At the age of 41-45 the pay gap between women and men increases to 45%.

There is an estimate of 80,000 women who are involved with prostitution. 74% of these women cite poverty as their reason to prostitute their body. They cannot support their children and pay their bills.

If women are really liberated then why does the NHS report said in 2009 that one in five adult women experience depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts?

I will tell you what women really need and what is truly missing in their lives .. it is Emaan! Emaan in Allah is not only a religious concept but a worldview and blueprint to a successful  lifestyle. A true woman is a woman made of unsheathed and unwavering Emaan. Her Emaan makes her noble and distinguished. It gives her rights and purpose in life. Allah created women to be a dynamic force! When a woman accepts Islam, Allah blesses her with liberating rights and inspiring strength to deal with her relationships, finances and spiritual life.  A Muslim woman is a beautiful but fierce creation of Allah. No one can mess with her. Every woman was once a little girl. And every little girl holds in her heart her most precious dreams. She longs to look beautiful, to be appreciated, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, to be swept up into a romance, to belong. These desires are far more than child's play. They are the secret to every feminine heart. Many women seek out these goals in ways which unnecessarily hurt their feminity……But Muslim women achieve their full feminine appeal with three virtues: Hijab, Abaya, Niqab. 

Why do I wear the Abaya?
It relates to my basic faith in Allah and that there is no One worthy to worship except Him. As a Muslim woman, I want to submit to Allah and obey all His commands. Since  Hijab is a clear command from Allah, I choose to wear it to please Him. 

Aisha (r.a), the beloved wife of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said, "May Allah have mercy on the immigrant women - when Allah revealed that they should wear Hijab, they tore different pieces of clothes to wrap their hand and face face with them" - Bukhari. These women did not even have sufficient clothing with which they could cover themselves modestly, yet they were the first to obey Allah. They also gave up the tradition and norm of their society, where it was fashionable for women to hang a dupatta around their neck, showing their neck, cleavage and the curves of their breast to covering not only their entire bodies but hair and face. 

Abaya does not apply only to clothes. It is a state of mind, behaviour and lifestyle. Hijab celebrates a desirable quality called Haya (modesty). It deeply concerns with preserving one's dignity. Haya is a natural feeling that brings us pain at the very idea of committing something wrong. The Prophet (s.a.w) said, "Every religion has a distinct feature. Islam's distinct feature is haya (modesty)" - Ibn Majah. To me the Hijab proclaims my modesty thereby protects me. It identifies me as a Muslim woman of high moral standards and it reduces my chances of being harassed. 

The point to covering is not that sexual attraction is bad, only that it should be expressed between a husband and wife inside the privacy of the home. A public space free of sexual tensions is seen as a more peaceful place for human beings, men and women, to interact, do business, and build a healthy civilization - Dr. Katherine Bullock 

Hijab unites me to other Muslim sisters -€“ Hijab identifies us as Muslims and encourages other Muslim sisters to greet us with the salutation of peace, Assalamu Alaikum€. Hijab draws others to us and immerses us in good company.
Abaya liberates me from slavery to physical perfection:€“ Society makes women desire to become €˜perfect objects€™. The multitudes of alluring fashion magazines and cosmetic surgeries show women’s enslavement to beauty. The entertainment industry pressures teens to believe that for clothes, less is better. When I wear Hijab, I vow to liberate ourselves from such desires and serve only Allah. 
Hijab and Abaya do not let others judge me by my hair and curves!“ In schools and professional environments, women are often judged by their physical appearance or physical €”characteristics they neither chose nor created. Hijab forces society to judge women for their value as human beings, with intellect, principles, and feelings. A woman in Hijab sends a message, €œDeal with my brain, not my body!
Niqab gives me power and confidence: In contrast to today'€™s teenage culture, where anorexia and suicide are on the rise, as women attempt to reach an unattainable ideal of beauty, Hijab frees a woman from the pressure to €˜fit in€™. I don't not have to worry about wearing the right kind of jeans or the right shade of eye shadow. I feel secure about my appearance because I only care to please only Allah. 

Islamic Government

This is a really awesome e-book,

Principles of Governance, 

Freedom and Responsibility in Islam.

 I can't wait to read it after my exams. Its author, Hasan Turabi is a Muslim political scientist, who actually worked to help create an Islamic government in Sudan. How cool is that? Regretfully, I always thought there were no Salafi Muslim Social Scientists and International thinkers. I can't believe I doubted my own kind. Shame on me. 

a question about Palestine

In 1901, the founder of the Zionist Movement, Theodor Herzl, himself visited Istanbul and requested to meet with the Sultan Abdulhamid II. The Sultan refused to meet with him and returned him with the following words through his Head of Ministers Council,

“Advise Dr. Herzl not to take any further steps in his project. I cannot give away a handful of the soil of this land for it is not my own, it is for all the Islamic Nation that fought for the sake of this land and watered it with their blood. The Jews may keep their millions. If the Islamic Caliphate is one day destroyed then they will be able to take Palestine without a price. But while I am alive, I would rather push a sword into my body than see the land of Palestine cut and given away from the Islamic State. This will not be. I will not start cutting our bodies while we are alive” - Sultan Abdullhamid II

 I fully applaud Sultan Abdullhamid for his courage and powerful word - who wouldn't? We root and cheer our heart out with everything related to Palestine. Viva la Palestina! I can't think of a single Masjid in Canada which does not hold a fundraiser for Palestine. I can't think of a single Muslim teenager who does not own a Palestinian flag which they either hang in their room or wear it to school with pride. Now even Google, Facebook, Youtube are roaring with heartwarming images, speeches and prayers for Palestine. We ask Allah to give the Palestinians strength to persevere in resistance against oppression. We ask Allah bring their perpetrators to Justice. 

In the midst of all the angry chants, circular debates and meek protests, I wonder if anyone really contemplates over the history of Palestine. Doesn't it intrigue you that despite all the money, love and support, the genocide and holocaust continues Palestine. Yes, I know the Zionists are the new (hidden) superpower of the world backed by US military arsenal. I really laugh when people tell me its the politics that failed Palestine, the UN is too timid to dish out defense or its the fault of the Arab League for abandoning the Palestinian cause. 
Can any force on earth, whether it be nuclear or neurological countervail Allah's Power? Is Allah in need of help from phony assemblies and sham organizations? Indeed to Allah Alone belongs the Unlimited Control and Complete Authority of everything that exists in the heavens and the earth .... and nothing, absolutely nothing can happen in this universe, including Palestine without the precise Will and Permission of Allah, the Majestic in Might, the Most Supreme, the Exalted. Not even a mere leaf, let alone a bomb can fall without Allah's Decree. 

Say, "Never will we be struck except by what Allah has decreed for us; He is our protector." And upon Allah let the believers rely - Qur'an, 9:51

Whatever Allah grants to people of mercy - none can withhold it; and whatever He withholds - none can release it thereafter. And He is the Exalted in Might, the Wise. O mankind, remember the favor of Allah upon you. Is there any creator other than Allah who provides for you from the heaven and earth? There is no deity except Him, so how are you deluded? - Qur'an, 35:2-3

And if Allah should touch you with adversity, there is no remover of it except Him. And if He touches you with good - then He is over all things competent. And He is the subjugator over His servants. And He is the Wise, the Acquainted [with all].  - Qur'an, 6:17-18 

Allah says 'why are you deluded?' Its really hysterical that we have limited our understanding of Allah as our Rabb to Some One to Whom we owe ritualistic veneration and worship. Allah is our Rabb in fact means that He is the Ultimate Master of our destiny. He is the Ruler and Manager over us. He oversees, determines, commands and governs everything that happens to us in any given moment of our lives. Every person, and piece of technology is subdued to His will. He is the Creator and everything, good or bad is from Him. So my question is that, what is the underlying reason, in the great scheme of things -  in the sight of Allah, which caused oppression to rain down on Palestine in the first place. If we believe in Allah then we must surely trustthat Allah has the Greatest Power to end the massacre and bring peace. Then why has nothing changed in Palestine? 

The last time I asked this question, I was met with onslaught of ridicule and negative criticism. I was told that only someone insensitive to the Palestinian cause would say such a thing and that I was passing a moral judgement of sorts. This is what you get for thinking outside the box? Oh well ... at least I wasn't called an Israeli collaborator lol. I don't have an answer to my question either but it is good to keep your mind open for knowledge. I believe that after exhausting all political paths to liberating Palestine, perhaps freedom lies on a religious road. 
The history of Bani Israel always impresses me because one can draw many parallels from their behaviour to the present day Muslims. Surah Baqarah speaks of Pharaoh's oppression of the Bani Israel when he slit the throats of their sons (murdered their strength) and enslaved their daughters (humiliated their honour). The Pharaoh was of course a tyrant but Allah explains in verse 49 that wafee tha likum balaaon min rabbikum aatheem - Pharaoh brutality was actually Allah's chastisement upon the Bani Israel because (we learn this later on in the same Surah) they denied, tormented and eventually killed Allah's Prophets; treated His guidance with insolence and knowingly persisted in sin.

Not that I am drawing any conclusions but there is a reason why the Allah speaks of the political conditions of Bani Israel. Surah Israa' highlights the cruel foreign invasion and occupation this race endured twice for its audacious disobediences to Allah. Just speculating but maybe Allah intends to warn us through their example: don't repeat what they did or the same will happen to you? Only Allah Knows Best. 

So we were talking about reviewing the history of Palestine. If we go as far back as 1516, Palestine in the Uthmani Khilafaah, we will come to know that Palestinians were the first group of Arab who revolted and deserted the Khilafaah. They first tired to overthrow the Khilafaah in 1834. After much turmoil when the Ottomans regained control of Palestine, they spent nearly three decades (1876-1908) trying to modernize the Khilafaah to imitate the British monarch system. They were successful in establishing a Parliament and writing a constitution. Of course they claimed most of the representatives in the Parliament, in fact the President of the Council of the House of Representatives was a Palestinians deputy. They snatched control of the administration of Arab territories from the Khilafaah. They usurped the fiances, education and development of Muslims to feed their nationalistic and patriotic cravings for independence from the Turks. Thanks to their delving, the Khilafaah was unstable. The final death blow to the Uthmani Khilafaah also came from Palestine during World War 1. They supported the T.E Lawrence beat the Turks, who took over Palestine in 1917.  

It can be argued that the Egyptians played a bigger role renouncing the Khilafah and disowning Muslim unity for independence. This is true, the Egyptians played a tremendous part only second to the Palestinians. When the British Egyptian Expeditionary Force commanded by Field Marshall Edmund Allenby first attacked the Khilaafah, they made little progress. But with the help of Palestinians, they not only defeated the Turks but raised the Khilaafah to the ground forever.  Yes, Sharif Husyan also revolted in Hejaz against the Khilafaah in 1915 but it was already too late then, the dissension was irreversible. Actually Husyan's family with the guidance of Shaykh Muhammad bin Abdul Wahab did what they could to protect Makkah and Madina from falling into British hands. Alhamdulillah, they protected and purified the Holy Cities. 

 Alas, the Palestinians never got independence. The Balfour Declaration came to the Palestinians as a shock but what did they expect? Allah would help them after they recklessly abdicate the Islamic Khilafaah and jilt the Muslim unity in favour of a disbeliving nation? It is indeed a sad turn of events. Palestine then and now, holds the Muslim world at bay. So maybe we are not asking the right question: its not about what we can do for Palestine's lost independence but what can we do about every Muslim person who lost the Khilaafah.  We shouldn't be chanting Viva la Palestina but Viva la Khilaafah. Our fundraisers, flags, formal prayers should not just be about Palestine but an Islamic Khilaafah for every Muslim. An Islamic Khilaafah just maybe the right answer to the Palestine question. 

Source: Palestine under the Ottomans http://histclo.com/essay/war/ip/ott/ott-pal.html

Being Perfect for Allah

Have you ever dressed up for someone you like? Its fun to be stylish, to try out new makeup shades and jewelry ideas. But to dress up for someone you like is an experience and an occasion by itself. We all have done that a few times and we know we love it. But what would it be like to dress up for Allah? Like really look pretty and be perfect for our Creator so when He looks at us, He loves us in first glance? Surah Furqan has some really attractive make over ideas :) Enjoy :)

1. Wear the Foundation of Humility and Forbearance ^_^

وَعِبَادُ الرَّحْمَـٰنِ الَّذِينَ يَمْشُونَ عَلَى الْأَرْضِ هَوْنًا

And the slaves of the Most Gracious (Allah) are those who walk on the earth in humility - 25:63

Being humble is being unassuming of one’s own greatness, precedence and importance in front of Allah and people. Humility is by knowing the Greatness of Allah and being thankful for the fact that everything comes by His blessing, constant repentance and seeking forgiveness of the Most Merciful. Remembering Allah and doing things in the name of Allah. Humility with people is remembering our weaknesses and shortcomings and that we are just creatures made from dust who will return to dust. 

Humility is also in walking without pride, serving all kinds of people. The companions’ love and respect for the Prophet (s.a.w) was undoubtedly more exemplary than the followers of any other king or emperor in history. They were always ready to serve him. Yet when A’ishah (r.a) was asked about how he was at home she replied, “He was in the service of his family…” (Bukhari) The Prophet ﷺ used to milk the sheep, sew and patch his own garments, go to the market and buy his own things, sit and eat with his servants, initiate greetings with others, and act as though he was like any other one of the companions, joining them in whatever they were doing. Prophet (s.a.w) said, “Allah only increases a person in status if he forgives, and no one ever humbles himself before Allah but He will raise him in status.” (Muslim)
Arrogance is the opposite of humility and the basic root cause of all evil. Arrogance drove Iblees to disobey Allah and be expelled from Paradise. Arrogance is belittling the commands of Allah/the truth revealed from Allah and looking down on people. Prophet (s.a.w) said, “Whoever has an atom’s weight of arrogance in their heart will not enter heaven.”

وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الْجَاهِلُونَ قَالُوا سَلَامًا  

and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness - 25:63

Allah loves forbearance. It means to have a calm and mild composure. calm, peaceful and do not react to challenging people or situations with anger or impatience. We all get angry and annoyed; but the issue is how do we react to a stressful situation. The servants of the Most Merciful react to any form of verbal abuse with something that is better, whether it be good words like "assalamu alaikum" or a peaceful silence. Psychological research suggests that one’s self confidence plays a major role in his or her temperament. Those with low self-confidence tend to have a much shorter fuse and hotter temper then those who feel they have nothing to prove. It takes a person of great precedence and spiritual discipline to overlook people’s shortcomings, make excuses for others and keep composure with forbearance. Prophet (s.a.w) said, “Indeed knowledge comes through studying and learning, and forbearance comes by disciplining oneself.” (Albani’s Authentic Compilation, 2328). Our Prophet (s.a.w) said, “The strong man is not the one who can win a physical fight. The strong person is the one who controls himself when angered.”(Bukhari 6114) Prophet (s.a.w) also said, “There was not something swallowed more great to Allah than swallowing one’s anger for the sake of Allah.” (Al-Targheeb, 3/386). 

Forbearance is a characteristic which is perfectly personified by The Merciful Himself. His existence and bounties upon us. To top all of that off, He sent us prophets with a message and proof. After all of that, we are ungrateful and persistently disobedient; yet Allah does not immediately destroy us. Instead He continues to surround us with His bounties and favors and leaves the door wide open for those who would repent.

2. The Perfect eyeshadow and liquid eyeliner for eyes, the Night Prayer!

Allah loves those who pray the night prayer. Praying in the night reflects a special relationship with AllahThe Prophet (s.a.w) said, “The best prayer after the obligatory prayers is the night prayer.” (Muslim). The Prophet (s.a.w) also said, “Allah descends (in a way that suits His Sublimity) in the last third of the night. He then says, ‘Who will supplicate me so I can answer him? Who will ask Me so I can give him? Who will seek my forgiveness so I can forgive him?’” (Bukhari)

The concept of night prayer is simple. Allah created us and provided us with everything we have, and potentially can have and be. He in return asks us to show our love, obedience and loyalty as an act of gratitude through the night prayer, to be worthy of Paradise.... This life is a test where we must discipline ourselves to go against our ego and desires in order to fulfill the divine purpose – pleasing Allah. “Muslim” is an Arabic word that refers to a specific lifestyle – to submitting to the will of Allah. To claim the noble title of a Muslim, one must, at least, be dedicated to trying to fulfill that by means of praying the night prayer. 

3. Real Blush.... from the Fear of Hellfire 

وَالَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا اصْرِفْ عَنَّا عَذَابَ جَهَنَّمَ إِنَّ عَذَابَهَا كَانَ غَرَامًا

And those who say: "Our Lord! Avert from us the torment of Hell. Verily its torment is ever an inseparable, permanent punishment." - 25:65

إِنَّهَا سَاءَتْ مُسْتَقَرًّا وَمُقَامًا

Evil indeed it (Hell) is as an abode and as a place to rest in. - 25:66

Allah loves those who are afraid of Hellfire. The Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said, “When Allah created heaven and hell, He sent Jibreel to heaven and then said, “Look at what I have prepared for its inhabitants.” So he went and saw what Allah had prepared for its inhabitants. He then returned to Allah and said, “I swear by Your Honor and Might that anyone who hears of it (heaven) will enter it.” Then Allah commanded heaven to be surrounded by undesirable things and hardship. Jibreel said, “I fear that no one will enter it.” Allah then commanded Jibreel to go to hell and see what he has prepared for its inhabitants. He returned and said, “I swear by Your Honor and Might that anyone who heard about it would not go there.” Then Allah ordered hell to be surrounded by desirable things. After Jibreel saw this he then sa...id, “I swear by Your Honor and Might, I fear that no one would be saved from it.” (Tirmidhi) 

4. Money Management Gloss

وَالَّذِينَ إِذَا أَنفَقُوا لَمْ يُسْرِفُوا وَلَمْ يَقْتُرُوا وَكَانَ بَيْنَ ذَ‌ٰلِكَ قَوَامًا

And those who, when they spend, are neither extravagant nor stingy, but hold a medium (way) between those (extremes). - 25:67

-Spend on yourself, your family, relatives and friends without extravagance and without incurring interest. Only when the Prophet (s.a.w) could afford it, he sacrificed a 100 camels on the behalf of himself, his family and his followers. He ate from a small portioned from the sacrifical meat and donated the entire amount in charity. The Prophet's gifts (s.a.w) always increased love and benefit among its recipients. 

-If in debt then pay off your loan as a first priority concern.

-Hasan al Basri was a famous Tabai'ee (student of the Prophet's companion r.a). He used to wear a new suit (thobe and ghutra) every week and donate his old suit immediately. - Who said Muslims cannot solve global hunger and poverty?

-Eat in moderation – the worst thing a believer can fill is her belly

5. Avoid Al Zoor - False hair and Fake eyelashes

People stand by en masse and watch the blatant spread of debauchery, lewdness, and other forms of widespread societal corruption without apprehension. We promote and entertain ourselves with corruption in  movies, television, music and video games. It has gotten so bad that social iniquity is accepted as normal in our mainstream society. A trait of the servants of the Most Merciful is that they flee from Al Zoor.

وَالَّذِينَ لَا يَشْهَدُونَ الزُّورَ وَإِذَا مَرُّوا بِاللَّغْوِ مَرُّوا كِرَامًا

And those who do not bear witness to falsehood, and if they pass by some evil play or evil talk, they pass by it with dignity - 25:72

... Al-Zoor is specifically referring to falsehood which has been made to look good or desirable.

It refers to shirk, which means that a Muslim would not go to, take part in or watch on TV a shirk ritual like Christmas, Halloween, Valentines, Easter, Dewali, Holi etc. Because doing so will demonstrate acceptance to shirki ideology.

Another explanation for the word Al-Zoor is lying. A true servant of Allah would not be in the company of people who often lie and they definitely would not lie themselves in any matter.

Al-Zoor also means “the party scene” – the bar or dance club. They say that the gatherings where music and alcohol are found fall under Al-Zoor. So according to this interpretation it is definitely not appropriate for a true servant of Allah to be at a place where alcohol, drugs or music is prevalent.