Don't Give Charity!

Seriously, don't even bother! Don't give charity!

What about the hadith that states charity is obligatory upon every Muslim? The Prophet (s.a.w) said, that if a person does not have the means to give in charity, she should work (earn a living) thereby, benefiting herself from the income and giving some of it as charity, to earn reward from Allah. In the event that she cannot find work, she should help those in need by non-monetary means like by telling them something virtuous, smiling, and speaking to them with goodness. If she is not capable of doing even that then she should abstain from harming people and this will be counted as charity on her behalf. This is an authentic hadith recorded in Bukhari and Muslim.

The main cause of rift between Muslims is not the lack of charity. In Ramadan, Masajid raise hundreds of thousands of dollars, if not millions in charity. If truth be told, perhaps Muslims are the most charity givers because we all know too well its great reward from Allah and blessing. However, we assume that giving in charity or doing something nice for someone makes us better people. In reality, the payment of charity or any act of kindness should directly help us in purifying our wealth and our selves - it should never spawn arrogance.

Forget the indigent, orphans and other needy persons - its so common in families now that if a husband provides for his wife, he will be very quick to remind her of his charity. Whenever she is upset with him for not getting something she needs, he responds, don't I buy you enough things already?  Or if a brother buys something for his sibling, he will not hesitate to gloat of the favours he does them: you should be thankful I got you a hoodie for Eid. Even among sisters the desire to be thanked and appreciated is becoming a growing illness to the extent that we will only help another if we get praised in return. Otherwise we will backbite the sister we helped till the entire city has heard of her faults.

If you have wealth or talent and you are spending it on others, know that it is foremost a blessing given to you by Allah and your act of giving charity is nothing but a form of gratitude and form of worship which you owe Him. Allah has commanded you to "give something out of the wealth which Allah has bestowed upon you" - Qur'an, 24:33. It is  a quality of those who "believe in Allah and His Messenger that they spend from that which He has made you trustee" - Qur'an, 57:7 So your charity is not a service to anyone except yourself. You are doing simply what is required of you from your faith. Why are you then putting others down by making a big deal out what you are giving them?

Did you know, Allah could have made you poor? This wealth that you are really proud of and think it as all your's - Allah could have easily granted it someone with more humility and made you destitute. You would have been dependent on others for morsels of food and drops of water. Wealth should bring modesty in a person's life, not vanity. A true Muslim cultivates in her heart the joy of giving for the sake of Allah, recognizing that by doing so, she will please Allah. Charity teaches us that when we sacrifice our wealth or work to make someone else happy, we come close to Allah. Thus, its only when we kill our love for ourselves and the importance we attribute to ourselves do we achieve Allah's approval. Allah says, "They give them preference over themselves, even though poverty was their own lot. And those saved from the covetousness of their own souls; they are the ones that achieve prosperity" - Qur'an, 59:9


In Islam, poverty does not mean dishonour or humiliation, in the same way, being rich and having lots of material things does not equate to dignity and prestige. The only thing which makes us superior to others is  Taqwa. Do you think someone who fears Allah will give charity and then rub it in their face? Are we just giving charity out of pretentiousness? O look at me, I am such a generous person! Now pay me back for what I did for you? There are families in which spouses, siblings and relatives cannot stand to see each others' faces because of the hurt they have amassed over the years in keeping up with gift scores. The wife will taunt her husband for looking after his house and in turn never getting any acknowledgement from him. The parents will scorn at the kids for buying them shoes or jackets yet they don't listen. The relatives will brag about the jewelry they gave their niece at her wedding while their own daughter only got a cheap dress. Instead of producing love, gifts and charity spews hatred.

The reward of charity or giving gift is effaced if the act is accompanied with harassinment or bothering the recipient. Allah states, "Those who spend their substance in the cause of Allah, and follow not up their gifts with reminders of generosity or with injury, for them their reward is with their Rabb; on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve. Kind words and the covering of faults are btter than charity followed by injury. Allah is Free of all wants, and He is Most Forbearing. O you who believe, Cancel not your chairty by reminders of generosity or by injury, like those who spend their substance to be seen of men, but believe neither in Allah nor in the Last Day..." - Qur'an, 2:262-264. As discussed earlier, the irony is that when you give something to your family, it is their right upon you anyway. Allah has asigned for them a portion from your wealth. Again, you are not complimenting them in anyway by giving them what is already their's. Rather, they are cooperating with you by accepting your charity so you can get reward from Allah. Otherwise, your money and all your aclaimed kindness is of no benefit. The recipient of your gift is giving you a chance to purify your wealth and your heart so you should be thankful to the recipient. Not the other way around. My brother bought me a lapot as a gift and said, "I am grateful for the opportunity!" SubhanAllahi al adheem! He wanted to get the reward for the articles I write on my blog and other da'wah work so he got me a lapot as an investment for his Hereafter. What a smart way to think about charity mashaAllah. May Allah reward him lavisly with wisdom, with increased pure provision, a beautiful righteous wife and the highest level of Paradise aameen. You are not losing anything when you give someone a gift, you are actually banking on the good that they will do with your gift.

Allah says, "By no means shall you attain righteousness unless you give freely of that which you love; and whatever you give, of a truth Allah knows it well" - Qur'an, 3:92. Is it righteousness to nag? There are mothers who keep their children in trouble state of anxiety and pain by relentlessly annoying them with reminders. I raised you. I cooked for you. I taught you how to read and write. Yes, you did a lot of good to your children but now don't waste it by berating them. If your kids or spouse or someone else that you have taken a lot of care of does not cherish you then figure out your intentions - don't ruin the relation by badgering them.


 Figure out why you do good deeds. If your intention is to follow the commands of Allah and please Allah, then for Allah's sake do not irritate anyone with reminders of the good you did for them. Its between you and Allah. If you are sincere, you wouldn't want anyone to know the secrets you have with Allah. We hide our sins, then why not our good deeds? However, if your intention is to get appreciation from people, you want people to like you as a result - then for their sake, do not be so full of yourself that the people become sick of hearing about how great and bengin you are. No one likes a self-conciented stuckup person. People respect and commend a a person who is humble about her altruistic contributions.

Reflection: Protests in Egypt

Once again, Masajid are besieged and Muslims are desperately throwing themselves out of the way of machine-gun fire. The morgues are pilling with ranks of uncounted bodies. What is happening in Egypt is not anything remarkable from the routine that already exists in many Muslim countries across the table - death and maiming of the innocent. No matter how many times I read the news, I see wrenched only one reality - absence of true understanding of the Deen. How many bullets have to be fired, how many bulldozers closed in, how many protests slotted until we accept that peace and good governance is not a political template but a Divine ordinance. 

The current plight of Egypt cannot change unless Allah wills it: "There is no help or victory except from Allah, the Exalted, the Wise" - Qur'an 3:126. Why is Allah's help not with the Muslim Brotherhood? Why isn't Moorsi able to overcome the rebel gangs? "We will, without doubt, help Our Messengers and those who believe, both in this world's life and on the Day when the witnesses will stand forth" - Qur'an 40:51. Ibn al Qayyim noted that this verse means that whoever has a shortcoming in his faith will, thereby, receive a correspondingly lesser amount of help and victory from Allah. If a believer suffers any form of affliction from her enemy, it is due to her own sins, either leaving an obligatory act or performing a forbidden act, which represents weakness in her faith (ighaathab al-luhfaan min masaayid al shaitaan). Hence, Egyptians will see peace and tranquility restored to their land when they meet the criterion or fulfill the causes of Divine support. "Allah has promised to those among you who believe and work righteous deeds that He will, of a surety, grant them in the land inheritance (of power) and HE granted it to those before them. [He also promises] that He will establish in authority their religon, the one which He has chosen for them And [He promises] that HE will change their stand after the fear in which they lived to one of security. 'They will worship Me alone and do not associate anything with Me.' If they do reject faith after this, they are rebellious and wicked" - Qur'an, 24:55. 

So if I was an Egyptian, I wouldn't be at any demonstration at all. What made the Muslims win at Badr? It wasn't their large numbers or weapons - it was their faith and strong obedience to Allah. "Allah helped you at Badr, when you were a contemptible little force; then fear Allah; thus may you show your gratitude" - Qur'an, 3:123. The victory at Badr was only possible because the Sahaba (r.a) worked on their faith not fighting for 13 years. Don't the Muslims have the right to fight for their religious beliefs and live under them? Sometimes we fail to notice the fact that the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) lived the majority of his da’wah life as a minority in a non-Muslim society. 13out of the 23 years of da’wah, he (s.a.w) spent living as a minority in Makkah, which although was the city of Prophets like Egypt, it still was then a non-Muslim society. There is a lot for us to learn from this part of Seerah.
In Makkah, the Prophet (s.a.w) never started a political movement or caused people to die so he could have power - even if it was for all the right reasons - to spread Islam. The Prophet (s.a.w) says in a hadith found in Muslim, “The analogy of me and you is like someone sitting in the bonfire in the wilderness and insects and bugs are trying to fly into it. While I am holding your clothes, dragging  you away from the fire, you are rushing into the fire without thinking about it.” This is how the Prophet (s.a.w) viewed his mission, warn people against Hellfire. There is a hadith from Nu’man bin Bashir, found in the Musnad of Imaam Ahmed: “The Prophet (s.a.w) stood on the pulpit and delivered a speech to us. (His speech was): ‘I warn you (of) Hellfire! I warn you (of) Hellfire! I warn you (of) Hellfire!’ He (saws) was repeating it again and again; his volume was going up and up. If there was  someone in the market place they would be able to hear Muhammad (saws) from the masjid!” Tell me, in all of this, is the Prophet (s.a.w) campaigning for elections here? Are people dying to acquire a political seat?

Our first role in living as a minority amongst non-Muslims like Egypt and Canada is to proclaim the message of Islam publicly in a very clear way.  Knowledge which is food for the mind/soul, da’wah which is paying the taxes for this knowledge (by conveying it) and ibadah which is food for the heart (reaffirms and strengthens one’s belief). We must internalize these three basic components of Islam - knowledge, da'wah and ibaadah before we take on the government. If Islam is not fully in our hearts, how can we ever hope to establish it in the land?

What brought Muslims defeat at Uhud? They sinned! "Allah did indeed fulfill His promise to you when by His permission you were about to annihilate your enemy, until you flinched and fell to disputing about the order, and disobeyed it after He brought you in sight of the booty which you covet. Among you are some that hanker after this world and some that desire the Hereafter. Then did He divert you from your foes in order to test you" - Qur'an, 3:152.
So whats the lesson in here for Egypt? Allah does not inflict a nation brutal military dictatorship unless they do misdeeds and ignore the guidance and path of Allah. "Whatever good happens to you is from Allah; but whatever evil touches you, is from your own soul" - Qur'an, 4:79

Maybe our individual sins are too many to pick on the sins of others. As the saying goes: let her who is free of sin cast the first stone, otherwise stay at home! What are the maqasid of Shariah - the reasons for which Allah sent divine law? To protect Deen and then protect life! The death of Muslims by the thousands in demonstration is a clear indication that these protests in Egypt do not serve the Shariah but a non-Islamic agenda. We cannot accept non-Islamic means to establish Islam,  it will never work!
Ibn Taimiyyah was asked by his students if they should prevent the Tatar armies from drinking at night (give them Da'wah and good nasheeha). Ibn Taimiyyah stated that he is willing to tolerate a smaller evil - drinking of alcohol in order to keep a greater evil from occuring, the death of Muslims. If the Tatar drink, they will most likely to pass out from their drunkenness. However, if are ceased from drinking, they will raid Muslim neighbourhoods and kill scores of innocent. In the same way, we can endure the existence of a non-Islamic government, we will put up with it no matter how repugnant it is but we cannot stand the practice systematically wiping out Muslims and Masajid.

Allah Knows Best. 

You and Your In-laws

If there is one detail every engaged girl has consistently neglected over the course her wedding preparation, it's when she has smiled and answered thoughtlessly in the affirmative to living with her in-laws. Most to-be brides don't even realize what they are agreeing to until the feuds shatter their fairy-tale marriage. Yes, I know you are getting married to the guy of your dreams - you've had a crush on him since the day he came to your house (with his parents of course to ask for your hand in marriage 'ehem'). You are excited to see friends and family you haven't seen all that often in one room. You are excited for the gigantic cake with inch-thick layer of frosting. You are excited about your Middle East honeymoon. You are excited about your wedding dress and the nikkah ceremony. But you cannot ignore the freakishly important details of your life after the wedding ceremony is over - where are you and your husband going to live? What are you going to eat? What savings do you have to survive and raise a family? 

I think a lot of young girls walk into marriage totally unprepared and uninformed. While I cannot talk about all the things girls do wrong when talking to a prospective spouse, I will like to focus on the issue of living with in-laws. A lot of girls who decide to live with their in-laws after marriage are in for a lot of hurt feelings and power struggles. It is natural to want autonomy and independence with one's husband, every woman wants to control her nest - yet she cannot do that as a wife if her nest is someone else's property. 

In an ideal world, a girl may think of her future mother-in-law as her own mother and want to be as close to her as her own mother. However, in the real world when a girl moves in with her in-laws, she is not made to feel like she is not part of the family at all and this sentiment is communicated to her through unsolicited advise. You should wear more/less makeup/gold jewelry. Your food is too/less spicy. Get ready for a lot of criticism! Yes, despite the fact that you make her son happy, support him and take care of his needs - you will be told that his mother is the one who knows, you need his mother's input and that you are better off doing things his mother's way. 

His mother has been the his mom and his chief caretaker his whole life, your arrival as his wife may challenge her authority. Because of which your mother-in-law may not see how wonderful of a wife, cook, housekeeper and person you are. Despite your plus points, she may only see faults and may even complain to your husband about them. If you confront her directly, she will be deeply offended and if you let it go then you will become angry and frustrated. 

This is not to say that all relations with in-laws are messy, impulsive, inconsiderate and doomed to failure. Rather they should not be tread very lightly. You value religion and therefore you will try your best to get along with your husband's parents and family. The right way to do that is by knowing the ahkam of Shariah - the Islamic rules of jurisprudence on the matter. How much do you have to obey your in-laws? To what extent do you have to live with them? What kind of conflicts can arise in a joint-family system and how to solve them? I think the following is the best fatwa to date on the topic of a girl's relationship with her in-laws: http://www.islamqa.com/en/6388  I highly recommend it!

Vacation to the Maritime

This past week alhamdulillah I did a lot of travelling through 3 different provinces of Canada - Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island and New Brunswick. These are called the Maritime Provinces of Canada. Here, for the first time in my life, I traveled by boat to the middle of the Atlantic ocean, Bay of Fundy and other large bodies of water and saw real huge humpback whales and their baby calves. I also spent some time feeding baby cows and horses at a farm. 

With school and family life I was really distracted from noticing and appreciating Allah's creation. It was my own loss as I was contentiously making myself stressed out with responsibilities. Studying and taking care of people is important but the satisfaction and calm one gets from going into the ocean and seeing Allah's creation: lunging, diving, blowing and breeching is rewarding in itself. 

From this experience I learned that we, urban laptop and cellphone jockeys should take time out to hang out in the woods or at the beach and inhale the sassy scents of nature; bathe in greenery and fresh waters. Just like Islamic knowledge is necessary for intellectual growth, picnicking, hiking, scuba diving is necessary for spiritual happiness.  I think people from all cultures and religions take time out to unwind in nature expect Muslims. We choose to remain glued to screens thinking reading articles and listening to lectures will make our emaan strong when in fact this very overload of information is actually making us anxious, depressed and apathetic to the world around us. Seeing nature can cure our Taqwa deficit, reasoning disabilities and writing blocks.

Allah created this world for our use - we eat from its produce, seek shelter in its shade, make clothes and tools from its resources. However, Allah made our planet especially scenic and pleasing as a mercy for the believers so we can be awe inspired and a result, come closer to Him and become more obedient. When I came so close to the whales that I could look at them in the eyes; when I saw seals and sea birds frolic on the shore rocks, my heart became a fountainhead for love for Allah. I didn't see Allah from a fiqh perspective or Arabic grammatical interpretation but I got to love Him for the marvels of His creation. Nature helped me change my heart, focus on the vastness of the earth, the sea and the sky made by Allah instead of the narrowness of my problems and my fatigues. Nature helped purify my thoughts, overcome my negativity and disappointments. 

Of course, the fresh air, fresh foods and physical exercise is good for health. At the same time, nature and sight seeing also helps cope with reality; we feel comfortable in natural environments. So whenever we get a chance, we should break free from the wires, escape the arguments and try nature therapy: ride a boat, chase a butterfly, hear the echoes of a whale. The sunset and the rain is Allah's treatment for the overworked. I really recommend the outdoors to everyone. The Prophet (s.a.w) frequently took the companions (r.a) on swimming excursions, horseback riding tours and for camping in the desert. They farmed, slept under trees. Their lives close to nature made them not only physically fit but also strong of mind and emotionally at peace. There is something more serene in skipping rocks in the Bay of Fundy than in sending text messages. Living naturally made them soft and people of humility. They experienced Allah's tremendous ingenuity and power everyday and recognized their intrinsic helplessness in comparison. Ponds, trees, biodiversity yield the biggest bang in the brain - makes us happy and appreciative of Allah's blessings. For this reason I think vacations are a great idea. You don't have to go anywhere far, try exploring your own community or neighbouring provinces - splash your hands in the ocean, run them over a willow tree. 

Coping with a Dysfunctional Family

What is the secret to a happy, purposeful  life? Many of us think that our family is the key. It may seem like common sense but it does not make it true. Relationships are not the only thing that matter in life - help us grow, shape our values or change. If happiness is the cart; successful career, money and good physical health is the horse. I say this not to undermine the importance of maintaining good family ties but because sometimes coping with loved ones can be a very psychologically traumatic experience. Who doesn't want supportive, loving relationships to be happy? However, more often than not, parents will say to us very sicking and hurtful things. Or own siblings and friends will scar us. Sometimes we will suffer emotionally at the hands of our spouses. In general, the reality we face is that the people who are supposed to make us feel loved and protected are those who damage us intentionally, or without knowing. In these cases, individuals who think that good family relations are the pillar of happiness, will never be able to push their sadness and loneliness away. 

This is not to say that a person should replace her love for her family with love for money and power. Family is a small part of a much larger picture - and while family looms large for us in the moment, their importance is diminished when viewed in the context of our happiness. If your family has emotionally bankrupted you from the simple joys of life - excluding you from every family event, taking advantage of the favours you do for them etc - you feel really emptied out then obviously your family does not correlate with your inner well-being. Maybe you need to start looking for contentment elsewhere. 

You prospects for your life's satisfaction to come from your family are very bleak. Allah says in

Surah Hajj that you and what you seek [from your loved ones] are weak. Why would you bet your life on someone who cannot give you anything because even they need Allah for what they have. If Allah has not given them the capacity to be caring and helping - don't feel sorry for yourself, feel sorry for them! Once a Bedouin man saw the Prophet (s.a.w) kissing one of his children or grand children. He was stupefied, "O Messenger of Allah, you kiss your kids? I have 10 kids and I have never kissed any one of them ever." The Prophet (s.a.w) had no sympathy for this wretched individual because Allah did not put any affection or mercy in his heart. It is parents like these who drive their teenagers to attempt suicide in order to escape the instability and insecurity at home.  So don't be ashamed if your family doesn't make feel loved - you are not the only one. Even the Prophet (s.a.w) maintained a distance from his dysfunctional family.

The more goals you achieve in life, the better you feel. Our ambitions to do great things are far better than appeasing perpetually unsatisfied relatives. Find a connection at work, or in one of your university courses. Follow your dreams of learning broadcasting, Photoshop or cake decorating. As life goes on, our goals become even more crucial. Even if your family is perfect, it is bound to scatter or eventually pass away. As much as we want to, we cannot cling to our parents and siblings forever. Someone will get a better job in Halifax, someone will get married in Dubai. We will be forced to move out because own personal needs are too big to be accommodated by the family home. Someone will pass away. Bottom line is, like everything else, family ties do not last.  So if you want yourself to grow as a person and support lower stress levels - you will have to find something other than your family to live for. 

You may be thinking, how can I do something with my life after a terrible childhood and painful relations? I know there are situations that are very difficult to forgive and get over. 
First, ask Allah to give your heart strength to think clearly. Allow Allah to intervene into your state and give you peace of mind and tranquility. Whether it is fear, grief or anger that you are going through, make duaa to Allah to remove it from you entirely and guide you. 
Second, make the Qur'an something you tie your emotions to and keep your feelings together. You will be more calm and normal when you make a habit of reciting the Qur'an daily. Your inflamed wounds will heal when  you realize by understanding the Qur'an that Allah loves you and He has a plan for you. You are never alone and Allah is the closest to you. Allah says, "Fear not. Indeed, I am with you [both], I hear and I See." (20:46) The Qur'an gives us confidence that: (a) Allah is near (b) there is always wisdom and reward behind our problems and (c) Allah brings out ease from hardship. 
Thirdly, deal with your family challenges by being productive. The more you stay in a vegetative state at home, the more you will be depressed and become accustomed to being miserable all the time. This phase is absolutely self-destructive. Go out and find something creative to do so you can not only distract yourself from all the fights at home but also learn to feel good about yourself by gagging in imaan-boasting activities. 

My Family Thinks I am an Extremist (?)

You may not smoke, date, wear revealing clothes, curse or talk back for that matter. But your family still thinks you are extreme - religiously extreme that is. They will propose or state something outrageous about your beard or hijab. They will oppose your increasing visitation to the Masjid, dislike you reading books or not talking to your cousins. They will be loaded with viewpoints of how it is more spiritual to spend time with the family (watching half naked actresses in a movie or backbitting about relatives) or how your parents are always right even though they are committing major sins. So to get back to your cry that your family thinks you are an extremist, I don't think they are conscious enough to know what they are saying. I do know that if a person cares deeply about understanding her religion and puts the utmost importance on the Qur'an and the sunnah; and she certainly does not subscribe to any tradition or custom that requires her to check out her taqwa at the door before entering then I guess you could call her a godly person (Arabic word for Rabbani).

A growing number of Muslims only want to confine religion to the masjid - we don't want to bring it in our home or at work where it actually matters.

They can't have have religious ideas promoted because they do not want any critical examination of their behaviour and choice to take place in light of religion. In other words, they do not want to be exposed to any ayaah or hadith that might ban their source of income, relationships and/or favourite hobby. So they try to get a monopoly over how much you practice your religion in front of them. The more you practice your religion, the more you discredit them as bad Muslims.
 Of course this not your intention at all. Your passion to follow the Qur'an and Sunnah comes from your love of Allah which is not only theoretical, but also practical. This is what makes them uneasy because you treat praying, modesty, kindness etc not as options on a good day but as everyday obligations. They are especially outraged that you would listen to a lecture or ask a scholar rather than just take it easy and make up an excuse.  They just want to see Islam as a scientific phenomena, look at all the miracles in the Qur'an, isn't it great? As if to them, Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) is equivalent to Einstein for Muslims.

I think there are a lot of misconceptions about what is religious and what is extreme. I think many people do violate religion to justify their lack of consideration for their family - whether it is a husband who does not provide for his family because he thinks it is more important for him to go for jamaat for 4 months and 40 days. Or for a mother to beat and swear at her children as she wants because Allah has put Paradise beneath her feet. I think talking about the correct interpretation of Islam is  necessary so it is not abused to justify anyone's cruel means. At the same time I know that it is every young person's nightmare to have angry parents uproar about their son or daughter making more reward than bucks or grades - I am going through it and I am surviving it. The problem, as I see it, is that we shy away from the challenge of truly educating our families about religion because we do not want any more confrontation.
This is why a lot of young kids and couples are depressed these days; their parents are not giving them a chance to hear out, discuss and debate counter arguments. Consequently, the generation gap between parents and their children is widening. In homes where academic discussion about religion is deflected to argue about who is more guilty and blameworthy of the two parties, you have subsequently lower peace and well-being. Yes, I find it so odd that when people do not follow the religion, they do not let you follow it either. Here is another irony, Allah says,

وَآتَيْنَاهُم بَيِّنَاتٍ مِّنَ الْأَمْرِ فَمَا اخْتَلَفُوا إِلَّا مِن بَعْدِ مَا جَاءهُمْ الْعِلْمُ بَغْيًا بَيْنَهُمْ إِنَّ رَبَّكَ يَقْضِي بَيْنَهُمْ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ فِيمَا كَانُوا فِيهِ يَخْتَلِفُونَ

And We gave them clear proofs of the matter [of religion]. And they did not differ except after knowledge had come to them - out of jealous animosity between themselves. Indeed, your Lord will judge between them on the Day of Resurrection concerning that over which they used to differ. [Qur'an, 45:17]  

The clear proofs are evidences from the Qur'an and Sunnah which Allah revealed to tell us about our religion. Is there only 1 periodic table? Will we ever dispute about the number of hydrogen atoms in one molecule of water? Will 6 be evenly divisible by 7 or 3627? Will the days of the week every change from friday, saturday, sunday, monday to friday, monday, tuesday, wednesday? No, we wouldn't dream of such a discrepenacy. It would be illogical, unprecedented, impossible! Then why would Allah command us to desist from alcohol, it is from the filth of shaytan [5:91] and then be okay with us drinking alcohol because He didn't explicitly say that it is

haram? Or wear an abaya, cover your face [35:55] but not wear hijab because He again does not explicitly say hijab but khimaar? Allah commanded husbands to give their wives peaceful, nonwarring homes, where there is harmony and where you do not face any hostility, fighting and antagonism. Do not harm your wives or oppress them [65:6] and then He will assume that is piety on women's behalf to live and serve their inlaws where there is no freedom only constant strife? Its all blatantly contradictory isn't it? It would make you want to pull your hair out because it doesn't make any sense. How can two distinctly opposite things exist together in the same Law Book by one Legislator? Its like arguing the Canadian Penal Code states first degree murder is legal and illegal. No judge or jury would ever buy that. What is wrong, is wrong is wrong. There is no other way of getting around it. Yet we subscribe to this demented mentality when it comes to Islamic interpretation. Allah asks,

هَلْ يَسْتَوِي الأَعْمَى وَالْبَصِيرُ أَفَلاَ تَتَفَكَّرُونَ 

Say, "Is the blind equivalent to the seeing? Then will you not give thought?" [6:50]

Then can people who do not know how to recite the Qur'an, even read the alphabets properly be the same as people who have ijazah in tajweed? Can those who do not understand the Qur'an be equivalent to those who have qualification in Arabic and tafseer? The difference is a bunch of elders who are out of touch with the reality of Islam. There is a serious harm in the practice of pretending you know the evidence and facts from the Qur'an and Sunnah. The danger is self-proclaimed righteousness and hatred towards those who are working hard to be pure. Can we really afford to have a growing number of parents view coming home for iftaar and going for Taraweeh as disparaging and offensive as compared to making a 100K a night or studying in the library instead? What is happening is that young Muslims or young Muslim couples are being forced to give up religion because of internal family politics. Who doesn't love money? Who doesn't want to boast that their son or daughter is a doctor or a public school teacher? Or she cook and clean all day? But to ask your kids to be selective Muslims so that (a) you do not feel less of a Muslim in front of them and (b) you can guarantee 100%  victory the next time aunties and uncles sit and compare their kids is, I conclude extremism for the dunya.

This dunya, and by extension I mean all material comforts, assets and cultural values are not worth a wing of a mosquito so get over it. You don't have kids so you can use them to create your empire when they are older. You are suppose to have kids so you can increase the Muslim population. Didn't the Prophet Muhammed (s.a.w) say, "I will be proud of your great numbers before other nations (on the day of Judgement." [Abu Dawood, classified as Saheeh by Shaykh Albani]. Are we raising kids the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) will be proud of on the Day of Judgement or are we pushing our children away from Islam by always judging them and taunting them for their newfound efforts to practice the faith? Will their degree, or pay stub or cooking skills or the lack thereof really matter in their graves or on the Day of Judgment if it was not acquired with a religious intention/ to serve a religious purpose? Read the following verse very carefully,

قُل لاَّ يَسْتَوِي الْخَبِيثُ وَالطَّيِّبُ وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَكَ كَثْرَةُ الْخَبِيثِ فَاتَّقُواْ اللّهَ يَا أُوْلِي الأَلْبَابِ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ

Say, "Not equal are the evil and the good, although the abundance of evil might impress you." So fear Allah , O you of understanding, that you may be successful. [5:100]

Your life will never be happy or successful if you divorce religion from your day to day responsibilities. 

To parents: give your kids a chance; peak into their books and lectures - hear about what they are

learning/doing. More importantly, generate some respectful discussion on the topic of religion without completely blowing up into their face. My hope in all of this is that you will think critically about your own shortcomings as a Muslim and question your own religious commitments twice before you find faults in your kids. You are answerable to Allah not only for how you treat your kids but also on how you raise them. Because Paradise is in the service of one's mother or father is the middle gate of Paradise, does not mean that mom and dad by default automatically go to Paradise. Parents can easily go to Hellfire by dint of to their cruelty and coarseness.

To young Muslims and young Muslim couples: Your parents are worried about their and your financial future. After their struggle to establish themselves and to provide for you, they are hoping that you would be more deliberate and in fact vigilant in keeping a roof on top of their heads and food on the table. As a matter of fact, they fear that you will give up on looking after them because of the increase number of hours you have been spending away from them at the Masjid, Dawah tables or charity fundraisers. Of course they are also a little bit confused about religion because of the stereotypes they grew up with. So they are not always aware of the many religious things you say/do and the evidence behind them. Still you must not say even uff to your parents. 

They will be bankrupt of the reward of their Salah, fasts and Zakah for hurling abuses at you, slandering and defaming you in front of others, taking away your things. Whatever you suffer, in terms of their speech or from their actions, Allah would credit to your account, their reward or enter your sins into their account. Of course we do not wish this for our families. We want to be from those people "who will be in . gardens and pleasures. Enjoying what their Rabb has given them...protected them from punishment of Hellfire. [They will] eat and drink in satisfaction...they will be reclining on thrones lined up... [they will be ] those who believed and whose descendants followed them in faith..[they will be provided] with fruit and meat from whatever they desire....They will exchange with one another cup of wine wherein results no ill  speech or commission of sin. And they will approach one another, inquiring of each other, they will say, "Indeed, we were previously among our families fearful of displeasing Allah. So Allah conferred favour upon us and protected us from the punishment of the scorching fire. Indeed, we used to supplicate Him before. Indeed, it is He who is the merciful." [52:18-28]

So here is what you do...

(a) Supplicate before Allah to put mercy in the hearts of your parents and your families for the teachings of Islam and for you. 

(b) Try to make your interaction with your parents more encouraging - of course I am assuming you do not talk back to them ever. Tell them more about Paradise, like these verses. Share with the stories of sahaba and sahabiyat - this will not only spark their interest (who doesn't like a good story?) but also help them realize that religion comes sometimes at the cost of this dunya. I can't miss my salah and be a good Muslim at the same time? I can't cheat and engage in fraudulent behaviour if I claim to fear Allah. I can't live to cook, eat and entertain guests all the time if I am trying to adopt asceticism. Love of Allah and love of this dunya cannot be gathered in the same heart - this generates hypocrisy. 

(c) If they don't change right away, if they are still mean to you - don't let that discourage you. If you are demoralized, how will they find their morale? How will they find motivation? So you cannot be taken by their ignorant rants. They are not insulting you, they are insulting Allah and His Messenger - no doubt authority, respect and  dignity belong to Allah alone. Don't ever think that they can falsify Allah's command or make His religion weaker. Allah Owns the Truth, He is the ultimate reality. Allah gave them the tongue, the ability to speak, their intelligence which they are abusing to disrespect Him. But He can never be dishonoured because Allah owns all prestige and power. So you don't take it personally or grieve about it. Allah has heard the filth that comes out of their mouths. So keep moving despite their negative speech. Their hate and aggressive animosity is ugly and hurtful but do not let that get to you. Allah told the Prophet (s.a.w) the same thing,

وَلاَ يَحْزُنكَ قَوْلُهُمْ إِنَّ الْعِزَّةَ لِلّهِ جَمِيعًا هُوَ السَّمِيعُ الْعَلِيمُ

أَلا إِنَّ لِلّهِ مَن فِي السَّمَاوَات وَمَن فِي الأَرْضِ وَمَا يَتَّبِعُ الَّذِينَ يَدْعُونَ مِن دُونِ اللّهِ شُرَكَاء إِن يَتَّبِعُونَ إِلاَّ الظَّنَّ وَإِنْ هُمْ إِلاَّ يَخْرُصُونَ

And let not their speech grieve you. Indeed, honor [due to power] belongs to Allah entirely. He is the Hearing, the Knowing. Unquestionably, to Allah belongs whoever is in the heavens and whoever is on the earth. And those who invoke other than Allah do not [actually] follow [His] "partners." They follow not except assumption, and they are not but falsifying. [10:65-66] 

So Allah owns them too. What does it mean to Allah belongs whatever is in the skies and whatever is in the

earth? Allah owns them too. So don't think they will get away with the hatred, the name-calling, threats and humiliation. But this is not something which should interfere with your religion. Don't get influenced by their negative words, become reactionary - busy in arguing and fighting back with them - this is not what you are suppose to be doing! This is a distraction! Learning about the religion properly, living it and calling other people to Islam is your real mission - your true calling. 

All The Best.

Ramadan Reflection: Its not over until its over!

At the beginning of Ramadan, we all became a little more than passive believers; we became mujahideen. We all took up challenges to strive for the sake of Allah. For some it was a mission to stay hungry all day in the heat for others it was staying awake several hours past our bed time. We did what we thought was necessary for our road to self-purification. During our journey we realized that our knowledge of Islam, our fear of Allah and ability to endure hardship is somewhat limited. We were unable to attain heights of submission that we desired. If you also feel this way then to you I say: it ain't over until its over!
Don't allow these feelings of shortcomings undermine whatever efforts u have made thus far. Ramadan is a reminder is ibaadah is a state of becoming, not a state of being. Each day we must strive a little more to improve and increase our ibaadah.

When we have committed our hearts to Allah, it became easy to spend much time in ibaadah - this was our ideal plan. Ideals, however are always difficult to achieve. If it was not diffcult then it would hardly remain an ideal. We must try to maintain the ideal. It is seeking and this struggling to maintain the ideal quality and quantity of ibaadah is the spirit of Ramadan, and alternatively the purpose of our lives. May Allah enable us to thank Him and worship Him in the best of ways - now and beyond Ramadan aameen

Ramadan Reflection: Allah's Names

Allah repeats His Names so many times in the Qur'an. We hear them again and again in duaa yet we don't give them much thought. 

Allah is the giver of all sustenance - my money, my health, my intelligence is from Him. He is above His Throne, which is colassal in comaprison to the universes, above the heavens administering the affairs of all people that I know and do not know, commanding, forbidding, sending angels, inspiration, being pleased, being angered, rewarding, punishing, blessing, withholding, honouring, debasing, listening, watching, appreciating, forgiving. He is manifest in His creation yet physically hidden, the first and the last, the Owner of perfection, the free of want, the satiater of needs, my friend, my protector, my Rabb. It is to this Allah for whom I pray, I fast, I cover myself, I am forbearing, I am determined. Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Aalameen! O Allah grant me Your true recognition and bring me closer to You aameen.

I will certainly miss this Ramadan and all that it was taught me.

Ramadan Reflection: No Shirk!

The effect of Ramadan on people's aqeeda is profound. No doubt, Ramadan brings in a person a certain type

of nobility (for the lack of a better word) and feelings of purpose that accompanies the soul. In Ramadan a person realizes and she commits herself to not to submit to, physcially bow down or do sajdah to anything other than Allah. She does not call anyone other than Allah in duaa, nor worry for anyone's approval and forgiveness save Allah. She does not go to the dead or wear taweez, read her horoscope. She does not fear any form of spirit or jinn. She is not suspicious or believes the soothsayers. For one month, everyone truly commits to all the principles of Tawheed.

I am sad after this month ends, people will start the aforementioned shirk again

Ramadan Reflection: Salah Meter

In Ramadan I realized we have some very misguided attitudes towards Salah. Many of us just think of prayer as something that we need to do and get it out of the way. Its a chore that needs to be get over with. 

(i) finish everything first so I can pray in peace? Usually this means, by the time I am done everything, my body is in pieces - too tired, aching and drowsy to stand or think at all. Salah time is probably also qada. 

(ii) pray early and get it out of the way? In other words, I have too many things to do so I rush through my Salah as fast as I can so I don't feel guilty and keep thinking later.

(iii) pray early and get Salah in the way! I have a lot of tasks to complete. I am really stressed out, fatigued and freaking out. I need to pray right now so I can ask Allah to intervene, guide, help, bless and perfect everything. 

We pray Salah because we are commanded to but it is also about building a relationship with Allah by remembering Him throughout the day and making everything we do about Him, for Him. Prayer allows us to cry in front of Allah - heal, tell Him how we are feeling, ask for guidance, make exaggerated/impossible requests, get our batteries charged. These benefits only materialize when we savour our Salah. Try it.