Two Years as an Islamic School Teacher

I studied in a public school then a Catholic school, only to become a full time Islamic school teacher for two years. Just putting it out there - I have utmost respect for all my teachers, colleagues and students. I had a great time with them and I am what I am because of them. Not to say that they were perfect. No on is perfect, and it is futile to seek perfection in others when we have numerous deficiencies of our own. 
This disclaimer aside, today I want to share (and hopefully let off some steam) about my experience as an Islamic School Teacher. What could you expect if you are applying? What should do you once you are in? 

I personally feel that my faith as a Muslim flourishes when I am in a faith based community. More than anything, I wanted to be in an environment where everything transmitted faith, so my own faith could find new roots and grow. From the way the school phone is answered to dress rehearsal schedule for graduation, from how meals were sold during bake sale in the cafeteria to how students greeted each other: I wanted to see the teachings of Islam reflect in my surroundings. Granted this was NOT the case, Islamic schools are only as religious as you are. In other words, every single teacher on campus must pour in her passions and fields of expertise to excite Islamic practises in her students. 

Most Islamic schools treat Islam as a body of knowledge to be studied, narrowing it into historical moments, teachings and figures. Being Muslim is far too dynamic to be revealed or understood in a course. It's about living justly, loving tenderly, walking humbly with Allah, every step of our lives. 

Alhamdulillah ala kuli haal, I got the opportunity to sacrifice my prep, my lunch ... my washroom breaks to implicitly impact the cirruciulum, morning assemblies, counselling sessions, hallway conversations, dismal time period - so Islam may resonate more deeply with the students. Yes, Islamic school teachers have to go out on a limb, A LOT - if they want to show students the tangible joy, wisdom and blessings of Islam each day; the prayerful process to discern challenges and options, and the authentic awareness of the nearness and friendship of Allah. 

For this, I had to relearn my own faith. The lessons I learned as a child about Islam were not robust enough to bring meaning to the students. As a teacher, I had to relearn who Allah is and encounter  anew the treasures of our religion. Moreover,  I had to be enthusiastic about Islam. Without any pretence on my part, my students had to see that I had a real religious calling and that it made me happy. I had to show them that Islam did not set me back but gave me all the material and emotional success I have. 

I had to model the teachings of Islam, like forgiveness, charity, second chances, smiling, and patience, for students to see Islam works, not just in speeches and sermons but also in my professional and personal life. At the same time, I had to solicit feedback from the students. I had to make a conscious effort to make them feel comfortable. Only when I reserved all judgements and announced an open door policy, did the students feel safe to address me with their questions and concerns. Alhamdulilah this not only increased student voice but also student interest in Islam. 

Honestly, this is the hardest, most rewarding thing I have ever done. There are days I cried. I wanted to quit. There are days I didn't want to come home. Nights when I couldn't sleep and nights I would dream about school. I had to fight it from taking over my life. If you already have children, imagine parenting 200 kids at a time. It is not easy but it is the best, the most craziest thing I ever did. 

A mother's dua

اَللّهُ اَكْبَرُ، اَللّهُ اَكْبَرُ، اَللّهُ اَكْبَرُ، لاَ اِلَهَ اِلاَّ اللّهُ اَللّهُ اَكْبَرُ، اَللّهُ اَكْبَرُ، وَلِلّهِ الْحَمْدُ 

Allahumma salli ala Muhammad

اللهم بارك لي في أولادي ووفقهم لطاعتك وارزقني برّهم.

اللهم يامعلّم موسى وآدم علّمهم، ويا مفهّم سليمان فهّمهم، ويامؤتي لقمان الحكمة وفصل الخطاب، آتهم الحكمة وفصل الخطاب. اللهم علّمهم ما جهلوا، وذكّرهم ما نسوا، وافتح عليهم من بركات السماء والأرض، إنك سميع مجيب الدعوات.

My Lord Allah bless my children. And enable them to obey You and make them kind towards me.

Ya Allah you were the Teacher of Moses and Adam, so teach my kids too. Bestow them  with knowledge. 

You gave beneficial knowledge to Suleiman so grant my kids beneficial knowledge too.

You were the Giver of Hikmah and authentic, decisive speech to Luqman. So give them hikmah and authentic, decisive speech too. 

Teach them of what they are ignorant and remind them what they forget. 

Open on them (the doors of) barakah from the skies and from beneath.

Indeed You are the Listener and  the One who replies and accepts the dua,

اَمِين يَا رَبَّ الْعَالَمِيْن (Amin Ya Rabbal ‘Alamin)

A comment on fame?? - barf!!!

In more recent years, public nudity has become more and more acceptable, with many celebrities like Kim Kardashian and Kanye West promoting nudist selfies and music videos. 

 Although Vanity Fair and a plethora of social media corpse may promote and encourage nudity as a form of art, entertainment and freedom or whatever, the Qur'an has a different perspective. 
First, there is nothing natural about nudity. The first humans were created clothed by Allah. Adam and Hawa (a.s) were innocent and pure; they wore a clothing of Paradise which bequeathed them with dignity and self-respect. Second, their clothes were snatched by shatyan, as a form of humiliation after they obeyed him. Therefore, in the Qur'an, public nudity is a consequence of following shaytan, who affects the hearts and minds of people, by creating vulnerability and indecency. 

Shaytan is still active in humiliating the children of Adam. Public displaces of nudity honours shatyan and further advances lust, immorality and perversion in the world. This is not to say that the human body itself is evil or repulsive. The human body is sacred, noble and praiseworthy when it is a tool of worship. It is pure, lovely, admirable in marriage. However, public nudity is disgraceful and obscene. 

I am MORE than just "covered"

I started wearing a platinum, black coloured hijab when I was 11 years old. The colour of my hijab evolved over the years from various shades of pink to different blends of blue and green then finally my favourite, purple mash, but my classification, based on hijab,  never left my side.
When I was in grade 7, someone stopped me in the school playground to ask, if I even had a boyfriend. The world fell away.  I knew I would be a little socially awkward for a while, but I didn't know wearing the hijab would also make me unlovable.  When I was high school, crossing the street, someone said I looked scary. They laughed and I turned away, face burning. No one ever though I looked scary in a tuke or a winter scarf, why is hijab any different. When I was in university, someone on the subway said to me, “Your husband is not here, you don't have to wear that over your head.” I quickened my steps in fear,  I am not even married.  

I remember not being able to speak up. I should have told them that I wasn't bald under my hijab, nor do I have head lice; I chose to wear hijab on my own and that I am saving love for marriage.

We, hijabis, have it tough. Collectively speaking, we are not aggressive, but that doesn't mean we pack an IQ of 20. Here are four ways to effectively sabotage that "oppressed" stereotype, and be taken seriously, once and for all:

Command respect

Whether you are in the workplace, university or in a personal setting, show that you mean business. Using bad language, playing with your clothes or jewelry, or cracking your gum and appearing to be an unassuming female will not help your stance. Instead, be sure to flash a confident smile, be prepared to wield a firm greeting and let verbal eloquence shine through your conversation. Once someone sees you as a formidable employee or a confident student, his or her perception of you will drastically change. At the same time, you don't want people to fear you. Give people the same level of respect and courtesy you wish to receive from them. 

Voice your opinion

Don’t be a passive aggressive martyr who just avoids arguments or opts never to vocalize your beliefs.You matter and your voice deserves to be heard. This reigns true in the classroom, workplace and within relationships. Don’t sit back and take it; state your point of view (in a highly cordial fashion, of course). You do not want to be that girl who does not know how to make a judgment call or stand up for herself. If Linda Sarsour can stand up in front of a hundreds of thousands of people and cameras day in and day out and boldly give them a peace of her mind, so can you.

Have fun, but with dignity

Don’t take sloppy selfies for the social media. Don’t dress risqué with a matching hijab. Don't text a "brother" to the extent that if your grandmother was to read your messages, she would be shocked and appalled. Conduct yourself in an appropriate manner. You can let loose and have fun, but don’t let it get to the point that your dignity and self-worth is compromised.  

Be yourself

As previously stated, once others are aware of your internal makeup, they will not read into your hijab with such a fine-toothed comb. Randomly whip out your ability to speak fluent French. Talk about your 350-page dissertation and how it’s been published in medical journals. Give opinions on the defensive strategy that your native hockey team recently implemented in last night’s game, or how the cacao content of Café A’s espresso rivaled the bitterness of Café B’s. Don’t be afraid to show your smarts. You may intimidate people (especially because they may assume that hijabis aren’t that smart). But, stay true to you.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

I get PTSD reading the news. I can’t deny it anymore.  I won't hide it anymore. A building just exploded in my neighbourhood, damaging 25 houses due to a potential gas leak (?) Istanbul airport is under attack. White supremacists stabbed innocent bystanders at a Californian rally. West Virginia is devastated by floods. Willdfires burnt 589,995 hectares of Fort McMurray in Edmonton. A gay man shot 50 people in a gay club after contracting HIV. The more I read the news, the more I am plagued with angst, horror, disgust, frustration and helplessness. 

How can so many people do such irrational things despite being more than intelligent? How can clever and educated people be so dangerously, and foolishly misguided?

I am ‘knowledge is power’ kinda girl. But i would be lying if I said I don’t believe 'ignorance is bliss.’ The quest for awareness ... being well-informed an up-to-date is a fool’s errand when it makes you miserable in the end.

Yes, the death tolls make me miserable. The fashion ads, the cooking videos, the DIY tips .. the more I read and the more I know, the less competent and fulfilled I feel.  Knowing what is happening around the world, or what other people are doing, does not equate to a better life or greater personal happiness, at least not in my case. It just makes me more anxious and more nervous. I feel a sense of burden. 

For greater life satisfaction, relationship quality and crucially reduced stress and rumination, I am taking khula from all news websites so I can focus on Allah's blessings in this world.  (Fortunately, the divorce is not set in stone. I am sure I will gravitate towards the headlines every now and then. So long as I don't lose sight of the blessings. Maybe we need a new type of journalism - one that reports charitable events and heroic actions. )

This Ummah, when it stands before Allah (in prayer), it starts with “Allhamdulillah.” This is indicative of the fact that a Muslim should always looks at the bright side – the favours, the blessings, the opportunities she has. This is because one cannot truly praise and thank Allah when the only thing on her mind are negatives.

            Some of our greatest heroes in Islam, Musa (a.s), Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w), Imam Ahmed ibn Hambal, Imam Ibn Tamiyyah, Salah alDeen - all lived in the darkest times of human history. They were in the minority when the forces of evil aggressively and violently rose to expunge their good works. We are living in times when darkness is also great, this means Allah has honoured us to relive some of the challenges endured by the heroes of Islam and reap the same rewards. 

Allah promises in the Qur'an, “you don’t become weak of heart, you don’t become sad. You are going to be in the highest position if you truly believe.” This is Allah giving us hope. This Ummah is not allowed to depressed, we are not allowed to become defeatist. So long as we focus on our faith and faith based actions, it'll be okay in the end inshAllah. Out of every tragedy and every loss, inshAllah something good will be retrieved - this is Allah's promise.