There are three things in life, indifference, love and obsession. Indifference is when you don't care either way, it is all the same to you - "whatever". Love is that you strongly prefer and desire one thing over the another, it is your priority and immediate concern. But obsession is the total domination and control of something over your life. It holds you captive. You do not do anything except fixate over your obsession. You loose your sleep, work and family to obsession. It commands you senselessly. Sometimes we obsess over genuine things like wanting to understand the Qur'an, spending time with scholars or going for Hajj. And in our naivety we think that because our obsessions are religious, we are right to spend all our time, energy and money over them. We are right to disdain our duty to our family and our body in our pursuit of our obsession. But the truth is, obsession of any kind is not a sign of success but failure. It is an imbalance and a disorder which is not the goal of Islam.
Abu Hurirah (r.a) reported, the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said, 'The religion (of Islam) is easy, and whoever makes the religion a rigour, it will overpower him. So follow a middle course (in worship); if you can't do this, do something near to it and give glad tidings and seek help (of Allah) at morn and at dusk and some part of the night." [Bukhari]
Life is balanced and moderate. Allah did not create anything on extremes, in fact everything that becomes too drastic, self-destructs because it doesn't coincide with the nature on which Allah has originated things. This hadith teaches us time management. Reserves the hours of early morning and some segments of night for worship. Work and look after your family during the day.
Yes, we would rather recite the Qur'an, study Hadith and give Da'wah all day and night. Fast and spend time in the Masjid always because this is where we find our heart. But how long do you think this will last? The anger and sadness of our parents, spouses and children will deprive us of the blessings of our worship and knowledge. We will be miserable because we have made the people who have the most right over us, miserable. Our conscious will not let us live the guilt down and soon we will find ourselves unbalanced and out of order.
Anas (r.a) reported, three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (s.a.w) to inquire about the worship of the Prophet (s.a.w). When they were informed, they considered their worship insignificant and said, 'Where are we in comparison with the Prophet (s.a.w) while Allah has forgiven his past sins and future sins." One of them said as for me, I shall offer Salah all night long. Another said, I shall observe fasting continuously and shall not break. Another said I shall abstain from women and shall never marry. The Prophet (s.a.w) came to them asnd ask, "Are you the people who said such and such things? By Allah, I fear Allah more than you do, and I am most obedient and dutiful among you to Him, but still I observe fast and break it; perform Salah and sleep at night and take wives. So whoever turns away from my Sunnah does not belong to me." [Bukhari and Muslim]
Islam encourages the unification of the pursuit of spiritual progress with physical well-being and social enjoyment. In Islam, if the intention is to please Allah and the action complies with the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w), then even eating, sleeping and getting married are virtuous and rewarded. Just as Allah has commanded us to enhance ourselves spiritually, He has also enjoined upon us to maintain a good physique, to feed and rest the body - give it, it's rights and socialize in the community. This is the nature on which Allah has created us and so long as we follow this program, our worship and study will thrive. So balance your time in such a way that your obligations to your family and your interests to learn and teach are in order. Fear Allah regarding this. Just as Allah will ask you about your Salah, He will also question you in regards to the rights of your family and your community upon you.
A common justification from the isolationists is that people do not understand us. They cannot relate to our love for the Deen and it's knowledge so how can we share a common grounds with them? True, Islam has returned to it original state of being "stranger" in society. Even our own families think we are aliens. If we isolate ourselves from them, they will solidify in their misconceptions about Islam. The more we socialize with them the more they will realize, Islam is the natural and more enlightened way to life.
The isolationists also say that people are moody, every day we find our own family members in a different state of mind. One day they are happy and the very next day - they are so upset they won't talk to anyone without explaining why. How do we put up with that? True, in almost every household toady, mothers will rebuke their children no reason other than that it is their habit. Husbands will be aggressive with their wives because it is the only way they know how to behave. Siblings argue and cut off ties over the smallest arguments. In this situation, people tend to isolate themselves. It is easier to live alone than to suffer the pain of obnoxious put downs.
Just forgive and forget for now. Allah did not give us the power to change people but He can give us the patience to bear with them. No matter how you are treated, hold yourself to good moral values. Adi ibn Hatim (r.a) reported, Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said, "Allah will surely speak with everyone of you without an interpreter. He (the man) will look at his right side and will see nothing but (the deeds) which he had done before, and he will look to his left side and will see nothing but (the deeds) which he had done before. Then he will look in front of him and will find nothing but Hellfire facing him. So protect (yourselves) from (Hell) fire, by giving in charity even half a date; and if he does not find it, then wit a kind word." [Riyadh al Saliheen]
Be courageous and daily spend at least an hour with the family. Speak kind words to them. Help your siblings with their homework, ask them what happened in school. Make tea for your dad and massage your mom's feet. Ask her about your grandmother and aunts. You will see this exercise of meeting with your family will give you the break that you needed and the motivation to study and teach with a renewed passion.
Hear Brother Nouman's beautiful and well balanced discourse on interacting with the non-religious family members in such a manner that they cannot resist the Islam and the knowledge which you love.
Yes, sometimes I absolutely wish that I was alone with my books and with not a thing to do in the world. Just unlimited access to scholars but life isn't like that - only Paradise is. So hold yourself moderately between your duties (to your family) and your heart (to Allah and to knowledge) with patience. Indeed Allah loves those who are patient and Paradise is for the patient - inshaAllah.
Abu Hurirah (r.a) reported, the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said, 'The religion (of Islam) is easy, and whoever makes the religion a rigour, it will overpower him. So follow a middle course (in worship); if you can't do this, do something near to it and give glad tidings and seek help (of Allah) at morn and at dusk and some part of the night." [Bukhari]
Life is balanced and moderate. Allah did not create anything on extremes, in fact everything that becomes too drastic, self-destructs because it doesn't coincide with the nature on which Allah has originated things. This hadith teaches us time management. Reserves the hours of early morning and some segments of night for worship. Work and look after your family during the day.
Yes, we would rather recite the Qur'an, study Hadith and give Da'wah all day and night. Fast and spend time in the Masjid always because this is where we find our heart. But how long do you think this will last? The anger and sadness of our parents, spouses and children will deprive us of the blessings of our worship and knowledge. We will be miserable because we have made the people who have the most right over us, miserable. Our conscious will not let us live the guilt down and soon we will find ourselves unbalanced and out of order.
Anas (r.a) reported, three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (s.a.w) to inquire about the worship of the Prophet (s.a.w). When they were informed, they considered their worship insignificant and said, 'Where are we in comparison with the Prophet (s.a.w) while Allah has forgiven his past sins and future sins." One of them said as for me, I shall offer Salah all night long. Another said, I shall observe fasting continuously and shall not break. Another said I shall abstain from women and shall never marry. The Prophet (s.a.w) came to them asnd ask, "Are you the people who said such and such things? By Allah, I fear Allah more than you do, and I am most obedient and dutiful among you to Him, but still I observe fast and break it; perform Salah and sleep at night and take wives. So whoever turns away from my Sunnah does not belong to me." [Bukhari and Muslim]
Islam encourages the unification of the pursuit of spiritual progress with physical well-being and social enjoyment. In Islam, if the intention is to please Allah and the action complies with the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w), then even eating, sleeping and getting married are virtuous and rewarded. Just as Allah has commanded us to enhance ourselves spiritually, He has also enjoined upon us to maintain a good physique, to feed and rest the body - give it, it's rights and socialize in the community. This is the nature on which Allah has created us and so long as we follow this program, our worship and study will thrive. So balance your time in such a way that your obligations to your family and your interests to learn and teach are in order. Fear Allah regarding this. Just as Allah will ask you about your Salah, He will also question you in regards to the rights of your family and your community upon you.
A common justification from the isolationists is that people do not understand us. They cannot relate to our love for the Deen and it's knowledge so how can we share a common grounds with them? True, Islam has returned to it original state of being "stranger" in society. Even our own families think we are aliens. If we isolate ourselves from them, they will solidify in their misconceptions about Islam. The more we socialize with them the more they will realize, Islam is the natural and more enlightened way to life.
The isolationists also say that people are moody, every day we find our own family members in a different state of mind. One day they are happy and the very next day - they are so upset they won't talk to anyone without explaining why. How do we put up with that? True, in almost every household toady, mothers will rebuke their children no reason other than that it is their habit. Husbands will be aggressive with their wives because it is the only way they know how to behave. Siblings argue and cut off ties over the smallest arguments. In this situation, people tend to isolate themselves. It is easier to live alone than to suffer the pain of obnoxious put downs.
Just forgive and forget for now. Allah did not give us the power to change people but He can give us the patience to bear with them. No matter how you are treated, hold yourself to good moral values. Adi ibn Hatim (r.a) reported, Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said, "Allah will surely speak with everyone of you without an interpreter. He (the man) will look at his right side and will see nothing but (the deeds) which he had done before, and he will look to his left side and will see nothing but (the deeds) which he had done before. Then he will look in front of him and will find nothing but Hellfire facing him. So protect (yourselves) from (Hell) fire, by giving in charity even half a date; and if he does not find it, then wit a kind word." [Riyadh al Saliheen]
Be courageous and daily spend at least an hour with the family. Speak kind words to them. Help your siblings with their homework, ask them what happened in school. Make tea for your dad and massage your mom's feet. Ask her about your grandmother and aunts. You will see this exercise of meeting with your family will give you the break that you needed and the motivation to study and teach with a renewed passion.
Hear Brother Nouman's beautiful and well balanced discourse on interacting with the non-religious family members in such a manner that they cannot resist the Islam and the knowledge which you love.
Yes, sometimes I absolutely wish that I was alone with my books and with not a thing to do in the world. Just unlimited access to scholars but life isn't like that - only Paradise is. So hold yourself moderately between your duties (to your family) and your heart (to Allah and to knowledge) with patience. Indeed Allah loves those who are patient and Paradise is for the patient - inshaAllah.
Mashallah Excellent :)
ReplyDeleteJazakAllahu khairan Ustazah <3 May Allah reward you for guiding me and make all my efforts inshaAllah as a means of sadaq jariyah for you aameen.
ReplyDeleteMashallah !! good advices for the toughest test we all have in our lives, I mean OUR FAMILIES. Its easy to be gentle with our friends, colleagues or strangers but hard to put up with our parents. Barikallah Fee sis. May Allah Swt preserve our ustazah and make us all a mean of sadaq jariyah for her!! Aameen
ReplyDeleteI love the hadith of Hanzalah Al Usayyidi (r.a). He frantically wondered the streets of Madinah saying, "Hanzalah has become a hypocrite. When we are in teh company of Messenger of Allah sa.w. and he reminds us of the Hell0fire and Jannah, we feel as if we are seeing them with our very eyes and when we are away from him s.a.w, we attend to our wives and our chidlren adn our business, most of these things pertaining to life Hereafter slip out of our minds." Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) consoled him and said, "By Him in Whose Hand is my life if your state of mind remains the same as it is my presence and you are always busy in remembrance (of Allah), the angels will shake hands with you in your beds and in your roads; but Hanzalah time, time should be devouted (to the worldly affairs) and time should be devoted (to prayers)."
ReplyDeleteThe companions were so innocent and pure of hearts that the slightest fluctuation in imaan distressed them. We go days without really maintaining khushu' in Salah or reading the Qur'an and still we think we think we are good Muslims? There is no trace of Sunnah in any of our actions, we do nothing thinking that I must do this so I am saved from Hellfire and admitted to Paradise and still we call ourselves Muslims? SubhanAllah.
Be balanced and follow a middle course. Give the body it's benefit and rest, eat, work and spend sometime with the family. And also give the soul it's right. Look at what happened to mother Teresa, she spend nearly 40 years of her life in the slums looking after the poor and sick. She deprived herself of having a family, food, and the basic necessities of life like warm bed, and comfortable clothes. She punished herself and was miserable. She felt God had left her, she had no feeling for Paradise. She began to doubt many things. Read: http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1655415,00.html So do you understand? Don't become an extremist in anything, it'll kill your soul. Be in order and as close to following the Sunnah of the Prophet (s.a.w) as possible.
Ibn Abbas (r.a) narrated, while the Prophet (s.a.w) delivering Khutbah (religious talk), he noticed a man who was standign, so he asked about him adn was told that he was Abu Israel who had taken a vow to remain standing and not sit, or go into the shade, or speak while observing fasting. Thereupon Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) said, "Tell him to speak, to go into the shade, to sit and to complete his fast." - [Bukhari]
So don't cut off from the world, don't give up the material blessings of Allah upon you and run away from your duty from your family in the name of religion. Islam commands you to interact with people and benefit them, use the blessings of Allah and take care of yourself and your family. This is also important as establishing Salah, studying the Qur'an, fasting etc.