My last visit to Makkah

"For Your sake, I hurry over land and water:

for Your sake, I cross the desert and split the mountain in two, and

turn my face from all things, until the time I reach the place where I

am alone with You." - Arab Poet

Allah is Al Wadud (w-d-d: to love, to be affectionate) - The One Who loves. The One Who is the source of all love and loving kindness. The One Who Loves His Prophets and Messengers and those who follow them and they in turn love Him.
Loving  Allah is life itself, and to be deprived of it entails a terrible death; it is the light without which one would sail in a sea of darkness; it is the cure without which one's heart will be overwhelmed by a multitude of diseases; it is the joy without which one will remain in permanent grief; it is the essence of faith and deeds, without which they become like a soulless body.   


It might seem strange, in our time, to love ... a God. By God I mean, the Creator and Rule of the universe, the source of moral authority, the Supreme Being, One Who has power and control over nature and human fortunes. Bygone are those days right? Not quite. Even if people today do not believe in Allah; call themselves non-practicing Muslims or atheists, they still adore and admire some image, idol, animal or person as their god. Like worship money for instance, people's lives entirely exist around money. They live to earn and earn to live. Celebrities and scientists on television by are idolized as if they are divine. An average teenager listens to Naomi Watts and Kim Kardashian more than their parents, teachers and doctors combined...and yes it gets worst. In come parts of the world, animals are worshipped! And not the awesome kind like lions but foolish and odious animals like rats, monkeys and snakes are summoned for help and blessings.
A humanist will argue for freedom of religion. Agreed, every person is independent to determine their God. As for me, I worship Allah Who created the celestial bodies and the astonishing order to which they adhere, the incredible distances over which they travel and the unfailing regularity which they maintain, their intricate journeys through space in their orbits, their mutual attraction and their never wavering from the path chosen for them, no matter how complicated it might be. When I behold Allah's marvellous feats of creation, in space, in the gardens around me and in the Qur'an...it makes me tremble. I feel trepidation at the thought of Allah's All-Knowing and All-Powerful nature and Majesty. When I bow my head and say "Allahu Akbar", not only my lips but every particle of my body joins in uttering these words, "Subhana Rabbi al Adheem" .... "Subhana Rabbi al '3laa" I obtain incredible peace and joy from my prayer. Money, a celebrity...not even a pet can give you that.


We all believe in the universe. The universe did not come out of nothing. Whatever begins to exist has a cause, and since the universe began to exist, therefore it must have a cause, i.e. a Creator. It is irrational to ask, "who created the Creator" as some atheist do. Because an infinite regress of causes is impossible. Imagine I am a writer and I want to write a blog. In order for me to compose a piece, I must take permission of another blogger, but she must also ask another blogger, and she must ask another. Suppose this questioning continued forever, in other words an infinite amount of time... will I ever write a blog? The answers is no. In the way, an infinite regress of causes for the universe would mean there would be no universe in existence in the first place. So the universe has a single independent uncaused cause. 
Step back for a minute and think about this. The sun is 93 million miles away from the earth. How big is the milky way? About 150 billion light-years in diameter!!! Who can cause this to exist? Fine tune all the properties to support equilibrium and intelligent life?


I guess now is a good time to talk about monotheism vs. polytheism. Since there is no evidence to say the cause for the universe is actually a combination of two, three or even one thousand Gods, so the simplest and most comprehensive explanation is that this cause is One. Postulating a plurality of causes does not add to the comprehensiveness of the argument anyway. Life is engineered too systematically in this universe to even fathom the idea of multiple Creators.
Abi Al-Izz in his commentary of Aqeedah at-Tahawiyyah, "If there were two creators and they disagreed about something, such as one wanted to move X, whereas the other did not want it to moved, or one wanted to make Y a living being, whereas the other wanted to make it lifeless, then, logically speaking, there are only three possibilities. First, the wills of the two are both carried out; second, only the will of one of them is carried out; third, the will of neither of them is carried. The first case is not possible because it requires the existence of contraries. The third possibility is also ruled out because it would imply that a body is neither moving nor not moving and this is impossible. This would also imply that both of them are incapable or carrying out their wills, which would disqualify them from being God. Finally, if the will of one is realised and not that of the other, he alone will deserve to be God and the one whose will is not realised cannot be considered God.”


The cause or God must be unique, i.e. there are can be no similarities between the cause of the universe and the universe itself. If the universe is the sum of all matter, the cause of the universe cannot be IN the universe or LIKE the universe because it would lead to the absurd belief that the universe created herself. It's like saying, your mother gave birth to herself. Well sure, someone gave birth to your mother. But where did she come from? And where did her mother come from? And her mother? And the first person on earth? So the cause of the universe must be immaterial because it created the sum of all material – which is the universe itself. Furthermore, the 1st law of thermodynamics states “Energy cannot be created or destroyed." Energy or matter cannot create itself. So if the cause was material then it would defy this principle as it would mean matter and energy self create. So you can conclude that the cause of the universe must be immaterial and therefore unique.


Who is the Single, Independent, Unique and Uncaused cause of the universe? It would be nice if people read the Qur'an once in a while :) The Qur'an says,"It is Allāh who created the heavens and the earth and whatever is between them in six days; then He established Himself above the Throne. You have not besides Him any protector or any intercessor; so will you not be reminded? He arranges [each] matter from the heaven to the earth; then it will ascend to Him in a Day, the extent of which is a thousand years of those which you count. That is the Knower of the unseen and the witnessed, the Exalted in Might, the Merciful. Who perfected everything which He created and began the creation of man from clay. Then He made his posterity out of the extract of a liquid disdained. Then He proportioned him and breathed into him from His [created] soul and made for you hearing and vision and hearts; little are you grateful."  - 32:4-9. 
What is between the Heaven an the Earth? a young couple in love; a glowing mum-to-be; a new born baby; the laughter of a child; the joy when a family comes together for special events. Pandas, penguins, blue whales, spring lambs, a peacock's tail, a butterfly's wings, the patterning of a tiger. Colourful flowers and tall trees! Sunsets and rainbows? Or the blue of the sea? The myriad stars in the night sky? Mountains and lakes. Look at everything and contemplate.... the design, the colours, shape an function goes beyond what human senses and faculties can trace and explain. All these various mechanisms and its intricate details, and even their most minute parts, are adjusted to each other with an accuracy which ravishes into awe and surprise.  If we see a house,… we conclude, with the greatest certainty, that it had an architect or builder because we know that every effect must have a cause. But surely people will not affirm that the universe bears such a resemblance to a house that we can with the same certainty infer a a cause for it?
Suppose you find an electric purple Louis Vuitton bag in the middle of the mall. Would you assume that the bag has always been there? No ... your initial thought would be, someone lost it or left it there. Yet if we find a rock on the sidewalk we assume that it happened to be lying there without a cause or Creator, since forever. We are bias in our beliefs. We see and appreciate material things but never thank Allah for bringing them into existence. 

I cannot explain Allah, I cannot even comprehend Him. How can I explain Allah's Greatness? How can I describe the ecstasy of worship and feeling the Presence of Allah at His House? In my seven years of monthly visits to Masjid al-Haram, I felt and saw something there that, at least in this lifetime, I will never experience again, not even in my imagination. Its like the verse in Surah Kahf, if the seas were ink for writing the proofs for Allah's existence, the seas would exhaust before the evidence for Allah were enumerated. 

Sometimes we play intellectual gymnastics to rationalize the Divine, Sublime God. We are too insecure to allow our hearts to caress reality. As a kid I don't think someone sat me down and taught me metaphysical arguments for belief in Allah. I just remember stepping in the courtyard of the Ka3ba. The white marble floor, calm and cool to touch. We've all seen this courtyard: a picture, a television image, a film shot. They are used to symbolize Islam, used to advertise products, used to decorate rugs, rooms and hallways. I stepped into this courtyard, and suddenly, I remember the Masjid became this bright ocean. The solid, drowning hum of tasbeeh and tahleel  welcomed my heart and invited me witness and thus, bear witness of the Oneness of Allah.    

I can never do justice in articulating the thrill, wonder and humility that pressed upon me after gazing at the Ka3ba, Allah's House ... dressed with black sheets laced and embroidered with solid gold, floating amidst this galaxy of pilgrims in white ihrams. The walking pilgrims seemed a mass around this Ka3ba, performing tawaf. The crowd sucks you in, and you circulate with them, venerating Allah's Grandeur. You cannot help it. The intimacy and endearment pours from your heart. And in that moment you know that this is where you belong. Your soul has found its Creator, true Love, Purpose and Companion. 

Tiny birds caught my attention, speeding across the courtyard, busy chirping Allah's Glory over the humans. Even animals worship Allah :)

I thought about those tiny birds. This big, blackened box is the descendant of the structure build by Allah's Khaleel (friend), Ibrahim (a.s) and his son.. So too are those tiny birds the descendants of those feathered soldiers that protected this box from an army of elephants. Tiny fecal pebbles destroyed an army of charging elephants. Read Surah Quresh and Surah Feel; guaranteed a light bulb will go off in your mind and you will ENJOY spending time with Allah. 

 Going to Makkah is an opportunity to observe the state of Muslims in the world. What did I witness? We were hundreds of people congregating in garb that hid our class and blurs our ethnicity, our languages and colours. We were united for one cause, to worship the Cause of all things. We carried manuals explaining the rites of worship without providing any form of evidence from Shari3a except, in rare instances, partially quoted ahadith of Rasool Allah (s.a.w) and in rarer instances practically quoted verses from the Quran. The people turned to molvis for guidances, not realizing that they were ignoring Allah's Book in Allah's House. The precepts of Umrah ordained in the Qur'an and performed by Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) are much simpler than the methodologies of molvi so-and-so. 

And what was that they were reading from the Quran? Surah al Fatiha, Surah Yaseen, Al Rahman, and the Surahs from the 30th Juzz. Their reading was the reading of phonetics, not the reading of thought, reflection and understanding. Their reading was just as dead as most the paper of the diplomas, certificates and paychecks they have prostituted Islamic studies for.        

Sigh...

And how is the Masjid that houses the Ka3ba? Consider the K3aba: such a simple structure, made of brick, the first and model masjid. This building that surrounds it, however is itself but a museum, call on its observers to marvel at its towering minarets, marble pillars and beautifully decorated giant gates. And consider the guardians of the Ka3ba: the Saudi police. These officers, dressed in their tight, brown uniforms, wear such ironic badges. The center of the badge is an open, blank, book. Around the book are branches. At the topic is a crown. And on that book rests that mysterious symbol - an eye. Is it that the propesied Dajjal is here? Has he seized the Ka3ba, not to destroy, but to control - to control the hearts of Muslims? Thus, is it urging us to seek short cuts in the religion? Leading us to forget the massive academic and spiritual poverty inside and outside of the Masjid. Thus, are Muslism being urged to focus on rituals of Islam and ignore the realistic and pragmatic guidance and solutions offered by Islam to our contemporary lives. 

hmmm...Perhaps...Conspiracy theories aside: the tiny birds above, like this Ka3ba, like those pilgrims that arrive from everywhere, like the Quran that tells us about them, seem to be reduced to mere ornaments that we see and hear.

What are Umrah and Hajj? I have done each few times but did I perfom what I was suppose? Did I have the right intentions? Did I follow the correct methodology? Were my sins forgiven? Did I learn enough to change my life? Or were all actions and duaas a mere attendance at the different sites of Umrah - the Hateem, Muqaam al Ibrahim, Saffa and Marwa mountains etc.  

When all is said and done, I still think back to my last day in Masjid al-Haram. I tried to call on Allah for His bounty, almost all day, as He put it in my heart to do so. In that last hour, as the day set toward night, I stood there, as did so many others, facing in the dirction of that Ka3ba. The air was thick; the enivornment was strangely serene; the ongoing noise of conversation suddenly turned to silence. And we were praying to Allah. And I think back to the Tawaf around that holiest spots. It is so easy to forget Allah's commanding control when we are participating in the implementation of His will. Here at the Haraam, we submit but outside, we spend a lifetime disobeying Allah. Why the hypocrisy? 

I watched the tawaf from the top floor of the Masjid, and, like bugs at night to a light, couldn't help but stare. The giant whirlpool of people just kept turning and turning. And they were praying to Allah.

I came from Makkah, but I still feel as though I have not yet left. The Arabian life and the emotional security I perceived in its environment, specifically in the presence of the Ka3ba, formed my personality and behaviour, it moved my heart, filled my mind and gave me direction. Living in the desert and especially traveling through Makkah brings one closer to Allah. You don't need philosophical or scientific arguments to know Allah, you just feel Him. The desert gives you this feeling of absolute loneliness facing Allah. The feeling of absolute dependence on One Central Power. Masjid al Haram is always so crowded, its overwhelming  but refreshing. Even in the midst of all the people walking about, you cannot miss Allah's Holy Presence. I used to go there as a kid and even at that age I could feel it. My religion, character, history, and culture originates from this Masjid and its land. It is the spot of earth supremely blessed, a dearer, sweeter spot to me than all the rest. When I look at its pictures, I cannot help but retreat the path to my childhood and how Allah brought me to this beautiful religion, alhamdulillah. 

If my love is attached to Thee, then from whim I will be free.

Each time my heart will beat, Your Name will resound with heat.

With Your Greatness shivers my each limb, they seek to be released from sin.

Allah, Allah, is my hearts speech, Your Forgiveness is what I beseech.

The Most Merciful keep me content, with all that You have sent.

Keep in my heart Your remembrance, and in Your Deen allow me to advance.

Help me in my quest, permit me to pass the ultimate test.

Save me from the clutches of Satan, give me death upon Imaan - aameen. 

(islamicpoems.com)