My Family Thinks I am an Extremist (?)

You may not smoke, date, wear revealing clothes, curse or talk back for that matter. But your family still thinks you are extreme - religiously extreme that is. They will propose or state something outrageous about your beard or hijab. They will oppose your increasing visitation to the Masjid, dislike you reading books or not talking to your cousins. They will be loaded with viewpoints of how it is more spiritual to spend time with the family (watching half naked actresses in a movie or backbitting about relatives) or how your parents are always right even though they are committing major sins. So to get back to your cry that your family thinks you are an extremist, I don't think they are conscious enough to know what they are saying. I do know that if a person cares deeply about understanding her religion and puts the utmost importance on the Qur'an and the sunnah; and she certainly does not subscribe to any tradition or custom that requires her to check out her taqwa at the door before entering then I guess you could call her a godly person (Arabic word for Rabbani).

A growing number of Muslims only want to confine religion to the masjid - we don't want to bring it in our home or at work where it actually matters.

They can't have have religious ideas promoted because they do not want any critical examination of their behaviour and choice to take place in light of religion. In other words, they do not want to be exposed to any ayaah or hadith that might ban their source of income, relationships and/or favourite hobby. So they try to get a monopoly over how much you practice your religion in front of them. The more you practice your religion, the more you discredit them as bad Muslims.
 Of course this not your intention at all. Your passion to follow the Qur'an and Sunnah comes from your love of Allah which is not only theoretical, but also practical. This is what makes them uneasy because you treat praying, modesty, kindness etc not as options on a good day but as everyday obligations. They are especially outraged that you would listen to a lecture or ask a scholar rather than just take it easy and make up an excuse.  They just want to see Islam as a scientific phenomena, look at all the miracles in the Qur'an, isn't it great? As if to them, Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) is equivalent to Einstein for Muslims.

I think there are a lot of misconceptions about what is religious and what is extreme. I think many people do violate religion to justify their lack of consideration for their family - whether it is a husband who does not provide for his family because he thinks it is more important for him to go for jamaat for 4 months and 40 days. Or for a mother to beat and swear at her children as she wants because Allah has put Paradise beneath her feet. I think talking about the correct interpretation of Islam is  necessary so it is not abused to justify anyone's cruel means. At the same time I know that it is every young person's nightmare to have angry parents uproar about their son or daughter making more reward than bucks or grades - I am going through it and I am surviving it. The problem, as I see it, is that we shy away from the challenge of truly educating our families about religion because we do not want any more confrontation.
This is why a lot of young kids and couples are depressed these days; their parents are not giving them a chance to hear out, discuss and debate counter arguments. Consequently, the generation gap between parents and their children is widening. In homes where academic discussion about religion is deflected to argue about who is more guilty and blameworthy of the two parties, you have subsequently lower peace and well-being. Yes, I find it so odd that when people do not follow the religion, they do not let you follow it either. Here is another irony, Allah says,

وَآتَيْنَاهُم بَيِّنَاتٍ مِّنَ الْأَمْرِ فَمَا اخْتَلَفُوا إِلَّا مِن بَعْدِ مَا جَاءهُمْ الْعِلْمُ بَغْيًا بَيْنَهُمْ إِنَّ رَبَّكَ يَقْضِي بَيْنَهُمْ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ فِيمَا كَانُوا فِيهِ يَخْتَلِفُونَ

And We gave them clear proofs of the matter [of religion]. And they did not differ except after knowledge had come to them - out of jealous animosity between themselves. Indeed, your Lord will judge between them on the Day of Resurrection concerning that over which they used to differ. [Qur'an, 45:17]  

The clear proofs are evidences from the Qur'an and Sunnah which Allah revealed to tell us about our religion. Is there only 1 periodic table? Will we ever dispute about the number of hydrogen atoms in one molecule of water? Will 6 be evenly divisible by 7 or 3627? Will the days of the week every change from friday, saturday, sunday, monday to friday, monday, tuesday, wednesday? No, we wouldn't dream of such a discrepenacy. It would be illogical, unprecedented, impossible! Then why would Allah command us to desist from alcohol, it is from the filth of shaytan [5:91] and then be okay with us drinking alcohol because He didn't explicitly say that it is

haram? Or wear an abaya, cover your face [35:55] but not wear hijab because He again does not explicitly say hijab but khimaar? Allah commanded husbands to give their wives peaceful, nonwarring homes, where there is harmony and where you do not face any hostility, fighting and antagonism. Do not harm your wives or oppress them [65:6] and then He will assume that is piety on women's behalf to live and serve their inlaws where there is no freedom only constant strife? Its all blatantly contradictory isn't it? It would make you want to pull your hair out because it doesn't make any sense. How can two distinctly opposite things exist together in the same Law Book by one Legislator? Its like arguing the Canadian Penal Code states first degree murder is legal and illegal. No judge or jury would ever buy that. What is wrong, is wrong is wrong. There is no other way of getting around it. Yet we subscribe to this demented mentality when it comes to Islamic interpretation. Allah asks,

هَلْ يَسْتَوِي الأَعْمَى وَالْبَصِيرُ أَفَلاَ تَتَفَكَّرُونَ 

Say, "Is the blind equivalent to the seeing? Then will you not give thought?" [6:50]

Then can people who do not know how to recite the Qur'an, even read the alphabets properly be the same as people who have ijazah in tajweed? Can those who do not understand the Qur'an be equivalent to those who have qualification in Arabic and tafseer? The difference is a bunch of elders who are out of touch with the reality of Islam. There is a serious harm in the practice of pretending you know the evidence and facts from the Qur'an and Sunnah. The danger is self-proclaimed righteousness and hatred towards those who are working hard to be pure. Can we really afford to have a growing number of parents view coming home for iftaar and going for Taraweeh as disparaging and offensive as compared to making a 100K a night or studying in the library instead? What is happening is that young Muslims or young Muslim couples are being forced to give up religion because of internal family politics. Who doesn't love money? Who doesn't want to boast that their son or daughter is a doctor or a public school teacher? Or she cook and clean all day? But to ask your kids to be selective Muslims so that (a) you do not feel less of a Muslim in front of them and (b) you can guarantee 100%  victory the next time aunties and uncles sit and compare their kids is, I conclude extremism for the dunya.

This dunya, and by extension I mean all material comforts, assets and cultural values are not worth a wing of a mosquito so get over it. You don't have kids so you can use them to create your empire when they are older. You are suppose to have kids so you can increase the Muslim population. Didn't the Prophet Muhammed (s.a.w) say, "I will be proud of your great numbers before other nations (on the day of Judgement." [Abu Dawood, classified as Saheeh by Shaykh Albani]. Are we raising kids the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) will be proud of on the Day of Judgement or are we pushing our children away from Islam by always judging them and taunting them for their newfound efforts to practice the faith? Will their degree, or pay stub or cooking skills or the lack thereof really matter in their graves or on the Day of Judgment if it was not acquired with a religious intention/ to serve a religious purpose? Read the following verse very carefully,

قُل لاَّ يَسْتَوِي الْخَبِيثُ وَالطَّيِّبُ وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَكَ كَثْرَةُ الْخَبِيثِ فَاتَّقُواْ اللّهَ يَا أُوْلِي الأَلْبَابِ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ

Say, "Not equal are the evil and the good, although the abundance of evil might impress you." So fear Allah , O you of understanding, that you may be successful. [5:100]

Your life will never be happy or successful if you divorce religion from your day to day responsibilities. 

To parents: give your kids a chance; peak into their books and lectures - hear about what they are

learning/doing. More importantly, generate some respectful discussion on the topic of religion without completely blowing up into their face. My hope in all of this is that you will think critically about your own shortcomings as a Muslim and question your own religious commitments twice before you find faults in your kids. You are answerable to Allah not only for how you treat your kids but also on how you raise them. Because Paradise is in the service of one's mother or father is the middle gate of Paradise, does not mean that mom and dad by default automatically go to Paradise. Parents can easily go to Hellfire by dint of to their cruelty and coarseness.

To young Muslims and young Muslim couples: Your parents are worried about their and your financial future. After their struggle to establish themselves and to provide for you, they are hoping that you would be more deliberate and in fact vigilant in keeping a roof on top of their heads and food on the table. As a matter of fact, they fear that you will give up on looking after them because of the increase number of hours you have been spending away from them at the Masjid, Dawah tables or charity fundraisers. Of course they are also a little bit confused about religion because of the stereotypes they grew up with. So they are not always aware of the many religious things you say/do and the evidence behind them. Still you must not say even uff to your parents. 

They will be bankrupt of the reward of their Salah, fasts and Zakah for hurling abuses at you, slandering and defaming you in front of others, taking away your things. Whatever you suffer, in terms of their speech or from their actions, Allah would credit to your account, their reward or enter your sins into their account. Of course we do not wish this for our families. We want to be from those people "who will be in . gardens and pleasures. Enjoying what their Rabb has given them...protected them from punishment of Hellfire. [They will] eat and drink in satisfaction...they will be reclining on thrones lined up... [they will be ] those who believed and whose descendants followed them in faith..[they will be provided] with fruit and meat from whatever they desire....They will exchange with one another cup of wine wherein results no ill  speech or commission of sin. And they will approach one another, inquiring of each other, they will say, "Indeed, we were previously among our families fearful of displeasing Allah. So Allah conferred favour upon us and protected us from the punishment of the scorching fire. Indeed, we used to supplicate Him before. Indeed, it is He who is the merciful." [52:18-28]

So here is what you do...

(a) Supplicate before Allah to put mercy in the hearts of your parents and your families for the teachings of Islam and for you. 

(b) Try to make your interaction with your parents more encouraging - of course I am assuming you do not talk back to them ever. Tell them more about Paradise, like these verses. Share with the stories of sahaba and sahabiyat - this will not only spark their interest (who doesn't like a good story?) but also help them realize that religion comes sometimes at the cost of this dunya. I can't miss my salah and be a good Muslim at the same time? I can't cheat and engage in fraudulent behaviour if I claim to fear Allah. I can't live to cook, eat and entertain guests all the time if I am trying to adopt asceticism. Love of Allah and love of this dunya cannot be gathered in the same heart - this generates hypocrisy. 

(c) If they don't change right away, if they are still mean to you - don't let that discourage you. If you are demoralized, how will they find their morale? How will they find motivation? So you cannot be taken by their ignorant rants. They are not insulting you, they are insulting Allah and His Messenger - no doubt authority, respect and  dignity belong to Allah alone. Don't ever think that they can falsify Allah's command or make His religion weaker. Allah Owns the Truth, He is the ultimate reality. Allah gave them the tongue, the ability to speak, their intelligence which they are abusing to disrespect Him. But He can never be dishonoured because Allah owns all prestige and power. So you don't take it personally or grieve about it. Allah has heard the filth that comes out of their mouths. So keep moving despite their negative speech. Their hate and aggressive animosity is ugly and hurtful but do not let that get to you. Allah told the Prophet (s.a.w) the same thing,

وَلاَ يَحْزُنكَ قَوْلُهُمْ إِنَّ الْعِزَّةَ لِلّهِ جَمِيعًا هُوَ السَّمِيعُ الْعَلِيمُ

أَلا إِنَّ لِلّهِ مَن فِي السَّمَاوَات وَمَن فِي الأَرْضِ وَمَا يَتَّبِعُ الَّذِينَ يَدْعُونَ مِن دُونِ اللّهِ شُرَكَاء إِن يَتَّبِعُونَ إِلاَّ الظَّنَّ وَإِنْ هُمْ إِلاَّ يَخْرُصُونَ

And let not their speech grieve you. Indeed, honor [due to power] belongs to Allah entirely. He is the Hearing, the Knowing. Unquestionably, to Allah belongs whoever is in the heavens and whoever is on the earth. And those who invoke other than Allah do not [actually] follow [His] "partners." They follow not except assumption, and they are not but falsifying. [10:65-66] 

So Allah owns them too. What does it mean to Allah belongs whatever is in the skies and whatever is in the

earth? Allah owns them too. So don't think they will get away with the hatred, the name-calling, threats and humiliation. But this is not something which should interfere with your religion. Don't get influenced by their negative words, become reactionary - busy in arguing and fighting back with them - this is not what you are suppose to be doing! This is a distraction! Learning about the religion properly, living it and calling other people to Islam is your real mission - your true calling. 

All The Best.

Ramadan Reflection: Its not over until its over!

At the beginning of Ramadan, we all became a little more than passive believers; we became mujahideen. We all took up challenges to strive for the sake of Allah. For some it was a mission to stay hungry all day in the heat for others it was staying awake several hours past our bed time. We did what we thought was necessary for our road to self-purification. During our journey we realized that our knowledge of Islam, our fear of Allah and ability to endure hardship is somewhat limited. We were unable to attain heights of submission that we desired. If you also feel this way then to you I say: it ain't over until its over!
Don't allow these feelings of shortcomings undermine whatever efforts u have made thus far. Ramadan is a reminder is ibaadah is a state of becoming, not a state of being. Each day we must strive a little more to improve and increase our ibaadah.

When we have committed our hearts to Allah, it became easy to spend much time in ibaadah - this was our ideal plan. Ideals, however are always difficult to achieve. If it was not diffcult then it would hardly remain an ideal. We must try to maintain the ideal. It is seeking and this struggling to maintain the ideal quality and quantity of ibaadah is the spirit of Ramadan, and alternatively the purpose of our lives. May Allah enable us to thank Him and worship Him in the best of ways - now and beyond Ramadan aameen

Ramadan Reflection: Allah's Names

Allah repeats His Names so many times in the Qur'an. We hear them again and again in duaa yet we don't give them much thought. 

Allah is the giver of all sustenance - my money, my health, my intelligence is from Him. He is above His Throne, which is colassal in comaprison to the universes, above the heavens administering the affairs of all people that I know and do not know, commanding, forbidding, sending angels, inspiration, being pleased, being angered, rewarding, punishing, blessing, withholding, honouring, debasing, listening, watching, appreciating, forgiving. He is manifest in His creation yet physically hidden, the first and the last, the Owner of perfection, the free of want, the satiater of needs, my friend, my protector, my Rabb. It is to this Allah for whom I pray, I fast, I cover myself, I am forbearing, I am determined. Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Aalameen! O Allah grant me Your true recognition and bring me closer to You aameen.

I will certainly miss this Ramadan and all that it was taught me.

Ramadan Reflection: No Shirk!

The effect of Ramadan on people's aqeeda is profound. No doubt, Ramadan brings in a person a certain type

of nobility (for the lack of a better word) and feelings of purpose that accompanies the soul. In Ramadan a person realizes and she commits herself to not to submit to, physcially bow down or do sajdah to anything other than Allah. She does not call anyone other than Allah in duaa, nor worry for anyone's approval and forgiveness save Allah. She does not go to the dead or wear taweez, read her horoscope. She does not fear any form of spirit or jinn. She is not suspicious or believes the soothsayers. For one month, everyone truly commits to all the principles of Tawheed.

I am sad after this month ends, people will start the aforementioned shirk again

Ramadan Reflection: Salah Meter

In Ramadan I realized we have some very misguided attitudes towards Salah. Many of us just think of prayer as something that we need to do and get it out of the way. Its a chore that needs to be get over with. 

(i) finish everything first so I can pray in peace? Usually this means, by the time I am done everything, my body is in pieces - too tired, aching and drowsy to stand or think at all. Salah time is probably also qada. 

(ii) pray early and get it out of the way? In other words, I have too many things to do so I rush through my Salah as fast as I can so I don't feel guilty and keep thinking later.

(iii) pray early and get Salah in the way! I have a lot of tasks to complete. I am really stressed out, fatigued and freaking out. I need to pray right now so I can ask Allah to intervene, guide, help, bless and perfect everything. 

We pray Salah because we are commanded to but it is also about building a relationship with Allah by remembering Him throughout the day and making everything we do about Him, for Him. Prayer allows us to cry in front of Allah - heal, tell Him how we are feeling, ask for guidance, make exaggerated/impossible requests, get our batteries charged. These benefits only materialize when we savour our Salah. Try it. 

Ramadan Reflection - The world is a prison for the believers

Have you ever felt that you cannot do something that you really want to? Maybe its too many family restrictions or not enough money, hijab or abaya comes in the way or maybe its just not the right time yet. 

Whenever I feel limited/confined like this, I try to remind myself of the hadith in which the Prophet (s.a.w) said: “This world is a prison for the believer and a paradise for the disbeliever” (Sahih Muslim). Many people interpret this hadith to mean that the disbelievers get to enjoy themselves in this life, while the believers are trapped - everything is Haaram, everyone has rights over me, I can't ever do anything for myself - that I like! This world is miserable for the believer, while it is bliss for the disbeliever.

My understanding of this hadith changed when I read this ayah:

 وَقَالُوا الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ الَّذِي أَذْهَبَ عَنَّا الْحَزَنَ إِنَّ رَبَّنَا لَغَفُورٌ شَكُورٌ

The people of Paradise will say, "Praise to Allah , who has removed from us [all] sorrow. Indeed, our Lord is Forgiving and Appreciative" (Qur'an, 35:34)

Even if we had everything we wanted, there will always be something better. The one who does not believe that there is an ultimate best place—who schedules her day to day life with certainty that this world is the best it can get—will become very impatient when her life isn’t perfect. She will be quickly angered and quickly devastated because her employer are too demanding, her husband is too controlling, her relatives is too irritating, her professors are inconsiderate, neighbours are jerks. She doesn't realize that there is a purpose past these problems. She just wants to make this life perfect and this is all she cries for. Her every ability and resource is vested to get more out of this life - of which she gets nothing except what Allah has written for her. Her heart and soul is attached to this world because her body thinks this is the only Paradise she has.

A believing Muslim woman is a prisoner not because she is miserable or she is stuck - she can't have what she

wants. Rather, she thinks of herself as a prisoner because she would rather BE some place better. Her heart and soul is too attached to Allah, her true Paradise. She seeks to go to her home in Heaven. She doesn't want the things that everyone else wants in this dunya. And she does not worry too much if she cannot do of the permissible fervelous things. It doesn't matter to her, she is too busy preparing herself to be released. She lives her life like it is Ramadan - she fasts from sins, race to Salaat, recite the Qur'an round the clock, earn/save money to give in charity. All this, to do iftaar with Allah. 

Ramadan Reflection – People say, “No!”

Son: Mom, I am taking another glass of milk sharbat?
Mom: No! 

Wife: Can you take me to [place] for Eid?
Husband: No!

Sister: Lets go for a bike ride.
Brother: No!

Sister: Wanna come over to my house on Saturday?
Sister: No!

Daughter: [after she cleans the kitchen]
Mom: you never do anything for me. You are useless. You should be happy you get free food.

We all hear a “No!” at least once every day. It sucks to be you when you are rejected, whether it’s a job application, ideas for new furniture, party, business – rejection is unfathomably punishing.
People are half broken – they cannot give us the things they do not have. Provision, satisfaction, happiness, solace, appreciation - is not up to people to give. People are not Vast, All Embracing. They are not just or considerate. Only Allah is Al-Laṭīf, Al-Haleem, Al-Muqīt, Al-Wāsiʿ, Ar-Razzāq, Al Wahab.

I am not going to ask people anymore, if they have any mercy or any good– it is because Allah put it inside their hearts. Otherwise, every human being is an empty dirt vessel. Every human being is shallow, meager and in need.

Allah: Who will call on Me so that I may respond to him? Who is asking something of Me so I may give it to him? Who is asking for My forgiveness so I may forgive him? (Bukhari and Muslim)

Allah: Invoke Me I will respond to you (Ghaafir: 60).

Ramadan Reflection - Allah Knows

Last night I went to a Masjid, where I used to go to as a child. For the first time I realized how differently everyone has grown up - the disparities between our various statuses and statures. Some became huffadh and from them some lead Taraweeh in that very Masjid. Some are in charge of the Masjid and yet some who are rejected every year to make I'tifaak but they show up anyway for Qiyam al Layl. I had never imagined that these particular individuals would come so far in religious commitment, that Allah will choose to make them devoutional - alhamdulilah. 
I realize that Allah Knows who to choose for His Deen. We think someone is a good person but Allah alone is Aware of their inner realities. Others we may not even give a thought in a day and they exceed and succeed beyond our imagination.

This taught me two things:

1. I am no one to judge anyone. So many times we try to get a reading on a person and assume their worth

based on what we have heard or seen about them. This is absolutely ridiculous. Allah is aware of our news, of the things that happen to us, the things that are done to us and more importantly, He is Aware of what is in our heart - the very subtle feelings and cravings of our nafs do not escape His Radar and Knowledge. We cannot take Allah's place. So we should stop pretending that people become good or bad because of our personal opinion of them. In fact, we should keep our opinions to ourselves and literally mind our own business. We should be so busy in updating and developing our personal virtues that we should have no time to think about others, let alone say mean things.

2. I should worry about myself. If people around me are becoming huffadh left right and center, coming to the Masjid more frequently than I, serving the Deen and the Muslim community at a greater level (for more hours, having a bigger impact) than I then I should really worry about myself! All these individuals are now successful and I am lethargically lagging behind them - I am not even close! I have wasted my chances because I always thought my memory was too weak or I did not have time etc. Allah Knows whom to give His fadl and He does not give it to those who do not want it, think they cannot handle it or are too preoccupied deciding who deserves Allah's fadl or not.

Inna lillahi wa inna liyihi raji'un - what a tremendous loss.
This is just a reminder to: chase after good deeds or else everyone else will get ahead of me in collecting hasanaat.
-to not think little or too much about anyone, only Allah Knows their true potential.

Ramadan Reflection - Self Righteousness

One of the things which I love about Ramadan is how everyone minds their own business (or at least they should). Everyone worries about themselves - waking up on time, keeping to one's own plate, eyes on the mushaf, counting the number of rakahs left till Taraweeh ends. We Muslims sure do haste in accumulating ajar for ourselves in Ramadan, alhamdulillah.

But behind the raised palms in duaa or date passing we occasionally slip holier-than-thou condescension. Manifestations of which include the thinly veiled insults, taunts and character attacks. Why are the personal lives of others of more importance to us than our own shortcomings? Are we not worried that Allah will prohibit us Paradise if we have an atom's weight of arrogance? Why do we assume we know what's in people's hearts and try to expose their secrets, whether true or false? Why are we so suspicious, indecent and malicious? Is it not enough for us to know that every scorner and mocker will enter Hell fire (Surah Humazah)?

With a month so blessed and yet so fleeting, time is better served assessing one's own shortcomings, than having all the reward one has acquired eradicated on account of a slandering and backbitting tongue. And if any judgement is to be passed at all it is best reserved for the self.

Ramadan Reflection - There is no perfect moment

If you wait for the perfect moment in Ramadan to bust out with the Qur'an, with the adhkaar or duaa card then

thats never gonna happen. The truth about life is that there is never going to be a moment u are totally free - no homework, no fatigue, no family obligations, no health issues, no frustrations, no cleaning, no disappointments .. life is full of unbearable situations one after another. Trying to challenge, change or improve what is clearly in our qadr only adds to our hopelessness and feelings of hurt. It only gives us excuse to procastinate our ibaadah. 

We have to worship Allah with ehsaan, accepting all the imperfections of life. Doing ibaadah in good times is easy - that is why Masajid are more packed for Eid Salah than for Taraweeh prayers. It takes real sincerity and genuine love, hope and fear in Allah that supersedes all other feelings and cravings to worship Allah in difficulty. 

This Ramadan, accept the pain and burn it as fuel for ibaadah.

Ramadan Reflection - How to pick yourself up after you have failed?

How badly do you want to worship Allah this Ramadan? If you are breathing then u can keep going. After a week of fasting however, may get a little overwhelmed, tired or crash. So personally, to prevent a complete burn-out, I am trying the following few things:

1. Cry about it - am not joking! Cry to Allah with tears, sighs - everything! Getting things off your chest and crying to Allah about our aches and pains makes a big difference, and is a huge lift. What do you think the Prophets alyihi salam did when they got tried or ran into trouble? They made duaa to Allah...so join the team.

Duaa of Aadam (as)
رَبَّنَا ظَلَمْنَا أَنفُسَنَا وَإِن لَّمْ تَغْفِرْ لَنَا وَتَرْحَمْنَا لَنَكُونَنَّ مِنَ الْخَاسِرِينَ

Duaa of Yunus (as)
لَّا إِلَهَ إِلَّا أَنتَ سُبْحَانَكَ إِنِّي كُنتُ مِنَ الظَّالِمِينَ

Yaqub (as)
أَنِّي مَسَّنِيَ الضُّرُّ وَأَنتَ أَرْحَمُ الرَّاحِمِينَ
Pain and injuries have overtaken me and You are the Exceedingly Most Merciful of those who have mercy (Your mercy is perfect and complete) (21:87)

Musa (as)
رَبِّ إِنِّي لِمَا أَنزَلْتَ إِلَيَّ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَقِيرٌ
My Rabb, I am despeartly in need for whatever/any good which You can send me (28:24)

Yusuf (as)
فَاطِرَ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالأَرْضِ أَنتَ وَلِيِّي فِي الدُّنُيَا وَالآخِرَةِ تَوَفَّنِي مُسْلِمًا وَأَلْحِقْنِي بِالصَّالِحِينَ
Cleaver of the skies and the earth, You are my Close Protective Friend, in this life and the next. Cause me to die as a Muslim - obedient to You and join me with the righteous (in the hereafter) (12:101)

Lut (as)
قَالَ رَبِّ انصُرْنِي عَلَى الْقَوْمِ الْمُفْسِدِينَ
O Allah support me against the corrupt nation (29:30)

Your get the picture ... As Allah with these words and you'll be jumping with joy in no time inshaAllah.

2. Eat a healthy and wholesome suhoor and dinner. Skipping these meals will not only tire you quickly during the day but also upset your mood.

3. Converse energy - avoid unnecessarily trips outside (its too hot anyway), major/intensive cleaning (u have all year to do laundry and vacuum, seriously!) and avoid too much talking (u'll feel a lot better in ur devotions to Allah).

4. Make a list - of the pressing things that must be done, it could be work-related or school. Break down all the tasks into small steps and do each step at its allocated time. But don't take forever to do it that u miss the extra ibaadah u promised u'd do. Have a deadline for each step. Don't spend the rest of ur life on it.

5. Afternoon nap - I know, you might not be in the mood to sleep. But just do it because it is Sunnah ($ = reward). Taking a break and resting for a while maybe just the thing you need to pick ur mood up and get back there inshaAllah.

6. Shower and groom yourself. Laying around smelling bad, in messy clothes and with disheveled hair is not going to do you any good. Simply showering, and feeling clean, can do wonders for your mood and get u in gear.

Ramadan Reflection - Discipline

The other day I was thinking, if the shayateen are all chained and locked away, then why am I having a hard time in completing my salaat and doing other acts of worship. Where are all the promptings to laziness and fatigue coming from? Why am I worrying about what to make for iftaar and making sure I get enough sleep so I am awake in class? It hasn't been 5 days and where did all the enthusiasm for Ramadan go?

Then I realized, in Ramadan a person is alone with their nafs. I am alone with myself. No waswaas from Shayateen, its just me. Whatever my inclinations may be, whatever my temptations and distractions - they are all a manifestation who I am inside. All year round, we blame the shaytan, the environment, the culture, the media - our friends and family. But in Ramadan, I am on my own - the shayateen are pulled back so I cannot say the shaytan made me do it. The TV and netflix are turned off. Friends and family are busy. Then it must be just me who is a bad influence on myself!

Ramadan shows us how much we are in need of SELF-discipline!
Discipline does not mean punishment. In fact discipline is about teaching ourselves right from wrong; how to respect the rights of Allah and fulfill them; which hobbies our are acceptable and which are time wasters. Discipline helps become honest with ourselves, it teaches us how to control our impulses and feel confident of abilities.

Effective Ramadan Tip?
Discipline urself - do the opposite of what you 'feel' like doing. If feel like sleeping, push urself to read. If u are hungry an ho before iftaar, leave all the food preparations, sit and make duaa. If u are tired and need to wake up early the morning, go for Taraweeh. If u are mad at someone, forgive them. It is only by doing that u will achieve result results.

Ramadan Reflections - I Think I Can

In Ramadan you really discover a lot about yourself. 
If you were not good all year round, then in Ramadan your force yourself to at least try. You pretend - at best to be good. This taught me two things:

1. Being good isn't hard, it just requires will power - inner drive and consistency. Like the choo-choo train, it kept saying, "I think I can, I think I can." Thinking is believing, and when you can get yourself so convinced that u start believing ur goals, then it becomes easy to achieve them.

2. If I can pretend to do something, although I have never done it before and become really good at it then it mustn't be very hard? Suppose I was not praying my sunnah and nafil all year long. I wasn't making any duaas or adhkaar consistently. But suddenly in Ramadan I forced myself and I did it..this means I can actually these things, its not impossible. So I am not really a bad Muslim per say, am just a lazy Muslim. I assume failure in coming close to Allah before even trying.

The following are tips for effective Ramadan planning:

1. Set out rules or duties within the limits of your time. If you are working 9-5 or at school, plan to recite a few extra pages of Qur'an than usual for u hit the road. Even if your Tajweed is so horrible, it makes ur ears bleed. Stand half an hour for Taraweeh - it won't kill u. No one ever cried from standing too long. Just repeat, "I think I can, I think I can." What makes people cry however, is the Qur'an, when they realize how meaningful and soul-stirring is Allah's kalaam.
Before iftaar sit alone by urself and pour out ur heart (in duaa). I know we assume that there is nothing to ask but think about all ur problems, everything u ever wanted, whatever ur grateful for, anything that makes ur upset - this is the time to talk to Allah.

2. Stay calm and do not get carried away when are running out of time - assignments are pilling up, family is angry because u are not around as much. This is the only month we get from Allah as grace period - if we were lacking , misbehaving, avoiding ibadaah, then now is when we can catch up. Your body will get by on less sleep just as it gets used to eating less food. The headaches will compromise, the world will move on. So u should not move back. Ramadan is the time u step closer to Allah, to the purification of ur soul, to making ur Hereafter a better place than ur world. Thats the purpose of life anyway. So you aren't really sacrificing anything, u are doing what u should be doing in the first place.

Ramadan: Month for Repentance

In the present age of computers and technological gadgetry, its generally considered a good practice to routinely clear unused and temporary files from one's computer. This keeps the machine running smoothly and decreases the chances of malfunction and crashing. Similarly, we delete unimportant messages fro our e-mail inboxes to keep them uncluttered and open to receiving new incoming messages. 
Though we spend time routinely cleaning up our machines, we often do so while neglecting our hearts, which are far more worthy of meticulous attention since they become spiritually starved and devastated by the overwhelming burden of sin. 

The Companion Abu Hurayra (r.a) relates that the Messenger of Allah, Muhammad (s.a.w) said, "When a believer commits a sin, a black dot appears on his heart. If he repents and seeks forgiveness, his heart becomes purified. If he advances in sin, the black dots increase until they overcome his heart. These black dots constitute the encrusted pollution that Allah Almighty refers to in the verse, "No! Rather, the stain has covered their hearts of that which they were earning." - Qur'an, 83:14

If one allows sins to accumulate on his or her heart in the form of this inner filth and decay, the heart gradually becomes blind and unperceptive to spiritual sweetness. One can easily observe this inner lack of spiritual cognition when, for example, a person yawns at the mention of Hell fire and its severity, whereas another faints upon hearing of the same. We are thus in need of a reliable method and rigid routine for cleansing our hearts of the contamination they accumulate from frequent sinning. 

Cleansing the heart is achieved through the remembrance of Allah [dhikr], repentance [tawba], seeking forgiveness [istighfar], and humbly turing to Allah in penitence [inaba]. The Messenger of Allah, Muhammad (s.a.w) did this seventy to a hundred times a day, despite being inerrant and guarded from sin. He (s.a.w) also said, "Every descendant of Adam is a sinner, and the best of sinners are those who repent." at-Tirmidhi. When a person makes sincere repentance for her sins, no matter how severe they may be, Allah purifies her heart and treats her as if she never committed them. 

Why is it such a blessing that we are able to turn to the Almighty and seek His forgiveness? Turing to Allah in repentance and seeking His forgiveness provide us the stress release we need from the guilt and dread of living with sins and their negative consequences. Repentance gives us a way out, another chance, a sense of lightheartedness, emancipation from despair and inspiration needed to turn a new page in life and start afresh. It is through forgiveness that we gain confidence to persevere and hope in Allah's mercy. Allah advises us not to run away from Him in fear but to run toward Him like baby, crawling on all four into its mothers' lap. So lovingly does Allah addresses His sinful servants, "Say, O My Servants - those of you who have committed sins in great excess against their own souls - never despair of the mercy of Allah! For, indeed, Allah forgives sins, one and all. Indeed, it is He Who is the All-Forgiving, the Merciful. So turn in repentance to your Rabb. And submit yourselves to Him before the punishment of Allah comes upon you; then you will not be helped." - al-Qu'ran, 39:53-54

The objective of Ramadan is to seek Allah’s forgiveness and become purified.

The mercy of Allah is so greatly infinite and His position so grand, that rather than immediately punishing us,

He has granted us a grace period in which to seek forgiveness for our sins. And as if it were not enough, Allah then gave us the means by which to wipe away our sins and their negative effects in Ramadan. 

Reflecting on our deeds in light of Allah's Greatness, one can only wonder how anything we do could ever be worthy of presentation before such an Exalted Being. What could we present to the Owner of all? What could we place before the One whose status is so Magnificent and unparalleled that it is neither diminished nor strengthened by the quality of what we present? Despite our imperfections, it is only by the infinite mercy of Allah that we are rewarded for the minute ibadaah we place before Him. 

Casting aside the issue of whether our deeds are worthy of presentation before our Creator, the reality is that each of us carries a load of sin and disobedience upon our shoulders. By design we are imperfect creatures prone to making mistakes. 

Perhaps the simplest form of ibadaah we can do in Ramadan is to reflect on our daily routine and seek forgiveness for the errors that are apparent. This was the Sunnah of the Prophet (s.a.w) and has been the way of the righteous who follow his footsteps. However, just as with any art, time spent in the company of those who are deep in their repentance provides an apprenticeship in how to sincerely turn which a lowered head towards our Sustainer. A pious scholar from the past was once asked what we should do to rectify our connection with our Rabb. He said, "Seek the company of the righteous." He was then asked, "What if the righteous are no longer present among us?" He replied, "Read their books."

It is a mercy from Allah that Ramadan is less than 10 days away, lending the seekers and opportunity to realize and view our actions and deeds with a presence of mind conscious of Allah. Make this Ramadan a guide to achieve nearness to Allah and help us lower ourselves before our Sustainer. Make this Ramadan a process of deep self-reflection, seeking forgiveness and insight. I pray that Allah opens our eyes to the reality of His grandeur, the reality of our servitude, and the power of returning to Him aameen. 

My Reflections on Boston Bombing

Boston Bombing is the latest in the war on terror: police crackdown on Middle Eastern looking people;  suspected individuals chased, beaten to a pulp and shot several times in encounter - of course unapproved by any measure of law; hostile towards liberation theology and much more. The bombing has opened a new chapter in America’s history of intolerance and extremism.

The news has worked people in the US up to a frenzy. Obama in a recent speech praised Boston for overcoming the face of evil. The only face of evil is the mostly white men (and women) in business suits on streets and who callously use insults and assaults to subvert their freedom of expression to the advantage of their short-term hate fest, breeding more insensitivity, discrimination, insecurities and outright cancellation of democracy. The real face of evil is the citizenry who are tracking down and maiming the Muslim community: Muslim Palestinian woman, physician by profession in Medford, Massachusetts harassed and punched by a white man for allegedly being a terrorist, two men detained in Boston’s Logan Airport for speaking Arabic, two Chechnyan students shot, one killed. The American public is responsible for the outrage not Muslims. The American public has becom dangerous and classical vigilantes.

For Muslims it’s all too familiar. Almost as soon as the smoke of any bombing is cleared, we know from long experience that immediately the finger of blame will be pointed in our direction. Until Muslims insist and boot out those who are demeaning us, we will increasingly all pay the price of Islamaphobia which is wantonly poisoning the masses against Islam. The media is like a carcinogenic toxin, the more one is exposed to it, the more one is damaged.

The liberation of human mind from the state of ignorance is the epitome of Islam. In 611 AD, Islam brought progressive development, which began in antiquity, reason and challenges to the established religious and Geo-political order. It promoted intellectual interchange, scientific advancement and opposed superstition, racial discrimination, gender inequality and abuses of corporate power. Enlightenment was born out of the Qur'an with the purpose of reforming society using Tawheed and crystallized into a sensitive, just, clean, respectful and moral world view. 

While the Christian world in 2013 still struggles with counter-reformation belief of brown boogie men in beards.

The American news officials have failed to take into consideration the fact that the US Navy Seals had seven agents present prior to the marathon at the exact location of the bombing and a bomb squads was performing a controlled explosion drill. This evidence is reliable enough to support that the US government is responsible for attack.

This is the not the first time that the US, as a hostile government force has targeted its own civilians, politicking the event as a terrorist attack. The reason is because despite their assertion to peace, the US forces have always been hungry for war because the power and money it procures.  

Why them and not us?

What is different about Jews and Muslims?
According to Amy Chua, the author of World on Fire, chapter 10, p. 217-225, the Israeli Jews are fare more economically advanced and successful than the vastly more numerous  generally impoverished Muslims surrounding them. Despite the infusion of trillions of oil dollars into the Gulf States, Israel has nevertheless outperformed all of her neighbours in the Middle East under any number of economic indicators.
According to the World Bank, 2000 Israeli’s per capita income was roughly $16,700 compared to $7,230 in Saudi Arabia, $1,710 in Jordan, $940 in Syria, and $370 in Yemen. In 2000, Israel’s infant mortality rate was roughly 5.5 per 1,000 live births, compared to approximately 43 per 1,000 live births in the rest of the Middle East. Also in 2000, 4% of Israel’s population over the age of 15 was illiterate, compared to 44% in Iraq, 45% in Egypt, and 54% in Yemen. In addition, Israel has a sophisticated welfare state, a powerful military said to have nuclear-weapon capacity, impressive infrastructure rivaling the Western nations, and a high technology sector competitive with Silicon Valley.
In contrast, large portions of the Arab Middle East are characterized by poverty, squalor, and mass frustration despite the region’s enormous oil wealth. In Saudi Arabia, writes Seymour Hersh, "Saudi princes - there are thousands of them - have kept tabloid newspapers filled with accounts of their drinking binges and partying with prostitutes, while taking billions of dollars from the state budget." Meanwhile male unemployment rate is estimate at 30%, and 25% of total population is illiterate. Jordan too, writes Stephen Glian, considered a "bright spot" in the Middle East, "has the same problems as the rest of the Arab world: hordes of disenfranchised, unemployment, hopeless young men susceptible to poaching by extremist group.                                        In still poorer countries of North Africa there is no potable water, electricity or sanitation among vast portions of the population. In Egypt, despite immense amount of Western aid, the disparity between rich and poor has intensified. 

So Why are the Jews so economically successful? 
The history of modern Israel began in 1882, thousands of well educated European Jews came together in their comment commitment to a Jewish state. The emphasized on the rule of law and build a well respected independent judiciary and reduced the levels of corruption and violence, which in turn attracted foreign investors and global markets. 
They also received tremendous amount of financial assistance: Between 1950s - 1985, US government granted Israel $21 billion and continues to donate $3 billion annually. Over the same period, financial contributions from world Jewry totaled $9.4 billion, Meanwhile, between 1950s and 1965, West Germany paid the government of Israel $780 million in Holocaust reparations and $7 billion in personal reparations. 

But most importantly, Israel has Human capital – unusually skilled and educated population and their deep commitment to the survival and success of a Jewish homeland. Israel is a magnet for Jews who move to Israel out of ideology rather than out of hopes for a better life. Most recently, over a million Russian Jews, quarter of them engineers have emigrated to Israel since the 1990s. In part because of this latest influx of engineering skill, Israel has become one of the world leaders in high technology. 

Why haven't the Muslims been so lucky? Despite working around the clock, why aren't Muslim families making enough money? Why are our children dying? Why aren't our masses educated, skilled and committed to preserving Islam in their countries? Why don't we get any reparations for our losses? 

whipping myself back into shape ... mentally

You are your greatest investment.  The more you store in that mind of yours, the more you enrich your experience, the more people you meet, the more books you read, the more places you visit, the greater is that investment in all that you are.  Everything that you add to our peace of mind, and to your outlook upon life, is added capital that no one but yourself can dissipate - George Matthew Adams

After a yearlong, ten months  bonanza of finding the right person, planning a future and family with him, I think I am finally back. Finally back from the thrill of numerous self-reflections, shopping lists, love notes and love stories. One of my most unique memories was vacationing in Dubai - walking on beaches, halal stakes and burgers and not a care in the world. I am  back to turning in papers and reading extra hours, sacrificing sleep, exercise and moving forward with personal goals. Life is constantly moving and changing. To live is to experience new things, almost everyday. The key is to be able to learn and adjust. 
At times life is like a dream, like living in an happy fairy tale. Then there are those times when things are not as effortless, we feel drained, overwhelmed, guilty or resentful. I believe that these are the greatest moments for learning and growth. We don't reflect upon life when our joys are accelerated  Most of us do not feel forced to connect within unless things are not inadequate and frustrating. Writing makes life's learning and adjusting process deliberate and easy. It is empowering, an opportunity to keep the mind sharp and passions burning. Without becoming redundant, writing challenges us to open our mind to new ways of understanding and find strength in obstacles. Life is extraordinary if we work at it. The myriad of events in our lives is what makes us, a masterpiece. Writing conquers life instead of allowing one to be conquered by it.

We cannot change the world as much as we cannot, at times change our life. Writing is a way we can control what we make of the world and how we understand our role in it. The death of Ilmster, the Egyptian Elections, the jailed billionaire's of Russia, Unemployment, Winter, UEFA Euro, In-Laws, the agrarianism reforms of Venezuela, Omar Series,  Massacre at Myanmar, Midnight dinners, the facade of blue eyes  ... life is infinitely rowing upstream, to not write is to close one's eyes and ears to the invaluable discoveries and insightful conversations all around to gather, examine and use.  

Life becomes unbearable when we assume that there is nothing to learn. Receiving life as a lesson sustains hope. Emerson wrote, "In every man there is something wherein I may learn, and in that I am his pupil." This perceptive quote is a tribute and a celebration of life - life offers something to gain and take away. Even pain nurtures skill and injury teaches expertise.

 Here is a test if you want to know if your learning in life is finished: if you are life, it hasn't. Learning is the name we give to our mistakes. She who dares to learn from life, takes the first step in the direction of acquiring wisdom. 

We’re all writers, busy writing our own lives. Powerful stuff but sounds a bit cliché, doesn’t it? 

The story that we choose should invoke change in the world, heal our woes, make our lives happier, more meaningful. But if you see the decisions we make everyday, our lives seem to be about aesthetics. And even if you throw money into the equation, design equate to filling our lives with good-looking, functional widgets.

The key is to divorce our story from any association with consumption.

Lets stop and think about our lives for a moment: life in essence is decision making - good story means good decisions - whether that manifests itself as a cool product, choosing to ride a bike to work, or deciding to go back to school - we are designing our life when we make any decision about what is right for us and for our lives. And this is not a cliche.

A hungry tiger started tracking the scent of a deer. As he followed the deer, he came across the scent of a rabbit. He turned aside and started after the rabbit. Then he was distracted by the scent of a mouse and started following that. He finally came to the hole into which the mouse had vanished. He ended the day hungrier than when he had started the day. This fable illustrates how many of us spend our lives distracted with this or that, and at the end of our lives – feeling even less accomplished.

I want to start a hundred things too. A dozen things I want to attempt. But where will that lead me in life. What will I gain from it other than just the experience and the knowledge of having done it.

What if the focus of my life was a spiritual focus. What if I made everything about my life about my Resurrection.

Regarding the Past - Forgiveness Needed
Regarding the Present - Progress Needed
Regarding the Future - Prize Needed

Too Shy to be Religious

Riyaa is described in the book as, "the practice of performing...various forms of worship in order to be seen and praised by people" (Fundamentals of Tawheed, 57). The opposite can also be true. Sometimes we worry too much about what other people think of us. Sometimes our perception of them and consequent cognitive response prevents us from doing ibadah (worship) and seeking Islamic knowledge.
When we become too focused on other people, we unconsciously reshape our views, priorities and intentions out of fear or want of their acceptance and approval. In the same way, we are sometimes embarrassed to excel in the Deen because we are over-concerned about what everyone else is doing and how everyone thinks of us. 

Its human to mimic other humans. We all do that sometimes when suddenly adopt a certain fashion or persona, change career, car or house after seeing a friend or a colleague do the same. But trying to be someone we are not will always leave us feeling unfulfilled, however much we admire the change. The only true way to be happy is to enjoy our individuality. And in this case, become relaxed and comfortable with the unique perspectives, quirks and idiosyncrasies revealed by Allah.

What will people think of me? What if I don't fit in anymore?
Sometimes it is just our imagination that scares and demotivates us. So challenge your thinking to overcome negativity. "Hold on, I am not doing this for Allah? This is to make my Creator happy. And how do I know people are not going to like me? Some people will like me, some will think I'm okay, and some might be indifferent. "
See the best in others by not assuming that they see the worst in us. Maybe they will be inspired by us one day and follow our example? Maybe all they needed was some motivation and after seeing us so dedicated to our studies and salah they also want to join (inshaAllah).

Remember: people will think what they'll think. If someone forms an opinion of us based on superficiality, then it is up to them, not us, to reform those opinions based on a more objective and rational view.

Some of us come from really competitive families or friends' circles. We may have siblings or relatives, neighbours or colleagues who think and treat us as if we are less intelligent or talented than them. Their behaviour becomes even more narcissist when we start practicing Islam. They will seek attention by putting us down and criticizing our new-found interest/preoccupation with Islam. This may affect our own self-esteem and struggle. We may resort doubting our self or worst, we may end up showing off our ibadaah or knowledge to fish for compliments. So it is best to walk away from any confrontation or competition with show-offs. They need an audience to boast about their achievements so don't encourage them by listening to their over-inflated ego. Keep emotions at bay, we don't need to defend ourselves because our reward is with Allah. Alhamdulillah Allah gave us the opportunity to see Him in a new light and comprehend His religion. Our views deflect because they don't understand the value of Allah or appreciate the blessing of Islam. Either give Dawah to these show-off with patience or stay abreast from their influence.