Winter 2013

Announced by all the trumpets of the sky, 

Arrives the snow, and, driving o'er the fields, 

Seems nowhere to alight 

the housemates sit  

Around the radiant fireplace, enclosed 

In a tumultuous privacy of storm

Winter in Canada always comes with many surprises each year. This year the surprise is relentless extreme cold with heavy snow across the country. The storm always arrives gentle and quiet; a distinct calm pervades both the earth and the sky. The movements on the streets are muffled. There is no uproar of winds and no trumpets of sounds. The soft, feathery snow flurries fall like exquisite crystals. The pavement glitters with sliver sparks for a while. 
The next day, rude winds mar the beautiful process. The clouds bring heavy snow and freezing rain, the ground turns in to slush. The stillness is replaced by noise, accidents are spiked. Cars clamour as the roads begin to slide. Everything that is poetic turns into a battlefield. The wind bolts, it gets coarser; the flakes increase in number and size and the snow grows steadily. The flakes fall like pellets, whipping, cracking and consuming trees and power lines. The earth throbs with frost. The impulse to travel dulls, and people suspend indoors. There are white curtains above you and white screens about you. The snow houses you and secludes you. You are wrapped in dark obscurity, caught up with power outage, the cold obliterates. 

As I pass the darkened streets, it is exhilarating in the extreme, my world enveloped in mantles of white, death waiting at every corner side. We huddle together, my husband and I, quietly snuggling  at the sight of wild conflagration of wind and snow. Is this what the Syrians must feel in the cold? Is this what war looks like? Frost penetrates like a blast around everything. Ten and thousands of people were without power: heating, water and electricity for a week. Winter 2013 has been dreadful and beautiful - you decide!

 

                    

The National Research Council of the National Academies (NRCNA) has pre-published (available to the public as of Dec. 2013), an extensive 200-pg study: “Abrupt Impacts of Climate Change, Anticipating Surprises.” U.S. intelligence agencies, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, the National Science Foundation, and the National Academies sponsored the NRCNA report. The National Academies consists of: the National Academy of Sciences, the National Academy of Engineering, the Institute of Medicine, and the National Research Council. The NRCNA report mentions the risk of abrupt climate change: we have already been witnessed via 100-year floods and severe embedded droughts as well as bouts of extreme cold weather conditions throughout the hemisphere. 

In, Saving the Global Climate from Runaway Arctic Methane Release and Sea Ice Loss, John B. Davies writes: “The warming of the Arctic seems likely to lead to the total melting of the Arctic Sea Ice in late summer no later than the summer of 2018 and to massive release of Methane from the melting of Methane Hydrates beneath the ESAS [Eastern Siberian Arctic Shelf] by the same date leading to runaway Global Warming and the end of most life of earth” - Arctic News, Dec. 19, 2013

Muslims already believe in the Day of Judgement so the "end of most life of earth” doesn't seem like a very rambunctious, gutsy forecast. As The Day the Earth Nearly Died, BBC / Horizon, December 2002 explains, The earth did come to an end - almost 250 million years ago. Almost every living thing suddenly died. Geological studies show that 95% of life forms perished. Scientists call it the Permian Mass Extinction, which was far more terrible than the later extinction that wiped out the dinosaurs 65 million years ago, killing off 60% of all species on the planet. It took 100,000 years for the earth to recover. This possibly may have been the time of Nuh (a.s). Extinctions certainly do happen. Doesn't matter how exactly.  The point is not to take time, health, wealth or family for granted. Sometimes we need a crisis to wake up from our slumber. 

Own Your Time

When is the disconnect? When do you decide to give up on doing work you truly love to simply make money? Fast forward to turning 18, entering  the “real world” and earning a big F for failure.

In the real world, most people I know don’t love work. They love leaving work. They love the weekend. They love celebrating a hard week at work by spending some of their hard-earned money at a restaurant or adult toy store. They live in a constant state of the Mondays.

Take my own work, for instance. I’m doing amazing work for a living, alhamdulillah. But I’m almost half way to 50 years old. So what do I want to do with my life now?Amazing work on the side, you guess? Making money to do something that really lights me up.

For the past 5 years I have been teaching, at different institutions, academies and doing private tutoring.  Don't get me wrong, this is great work, I admit. Even if I can ignore the low pay and endless amount of preparation time. What would you do if money was not your primary ambition? What would you do if you were certain you would not fail? 

What I understood in the past year from experiences with certain people is that, its not possible to make crap-tons of money following someone else' direction. That's how business are built; you are their employee and they own your money, your time and your happiness.  But what about the other time? That time you spend youtubing on your laptop, stalking people on facebook and gossiping over the phone? You own that, you. Own. That. Time.

It was an easy but blindsiding epiphany. Your day job may not be filled with a lot of excitement but you have to continue working there to make ends meet. But you can take the time that you actually own and will that with amazing activities and adventures. We can still follow our dreams after finishing 9 - 5.  Our work can fund our dreams.  What is my excuse? When I was single, I was too busy. When I was planning my wedding, adjusting with my in-laws I was busy. When I am raising kids, I will be busy. I have to step up and own my time to live differently, to live effectively. 

What are you waiting for? There are people who just start. They don't wait for permission. They don't wait for the right time, or for an investor. They don't quit their day job, they carry the skills from their job to get out of the prologue and create a new chapter in their lives. This post is dedicated to a group of brothers and sisters from UK who have changed their lives and the lives of others.

Muslim Aid Convoy to Syria 

Muslims Feeding the Homeless 

Anyone an donate cash to a cause (don't misread that, I believe this is a great thing to do), but if you want to enhance your life while also helping others, then you should volunteer. The charitable cause is up to you. Generally, I feel a little heart tug when I hear about similar charitable causes as mentioned above, that's actually my heart talking. I am sure we all feel that. We can fill it by pitching in. Sitting around and doing nothing is perhaps the wimpiest thing you could do (I am guilty of this too). Many of us are holding onto a decision and waffling right now. Do you have a charity idea? Turn that into action or someone will do it! Don't stay on the fence for an opportunity. Stop thinking about it, start working for it. I know I am only tormenting myself if I come home from work and do nothing. We are trapped by the dogma of weekend. We worship the weekend. Don't let the lazy or greedy lifestyle of others drown out your inner voice. You are born to do great things, have the courage to follow your purpose. 

Motion to Oppose Character of Quebec Values

When good people encounter evil, whether as a manifestation of human nature or political outcome, they feel frustration. It would be worst if they didn't take matters in their stride. It would be very unattractive if people just shrugged and said, "Well, isn't it too bad, a bunch of men and women are being mowed down by the Canadian government! But hey, there is nothing we can do, so what about dinner?

Even though doing nothing is preferable to doing something wrong, to do nothing after a mass-murder of rights and freedoms of Canadian citizens, would seem unbearably callous. And that's how it happens, in order to seem caring rather than callous, we end up doing the wrong thing.
The wrong thing will be, unless we the students of University of Toronto intervenes, new measures of state control over our clothes, our jewelry! Possibly extending to monitoring not just what is on our bodies but also what is inside our minds. Hijab, Niqab, crucifix, turbans will become the state's passkey to the nation's beliefs and our speech. The measure to control our bodies and our minds will resolve our freedoms, our human dignity without increasing fairness or equality. What the state will increase though, is our sense of alienation, discrimination, insecurities, a broken country and a broken pride.

In the 21st century, Canada is moving towards a tragedy. It takes a tyranny to enact total prohibitions. Its most tyrannies not democracies that eliminate freedoms of belief and dress. I want to ask Prati Quebecois this: What is the reason  for this state monopoly? What free government decides the wardrobe for its people? Which draconian law denies women access to universities, health care and employment? No, what this party is proposing  is a crime, its violence, it is insanity that they want to legalize and nationalize. The Muslim Student Association of UTSC denies the motion to pass Quebec Charter of Intolerance and Debasement. 

My reflections on University life

My first day of university was like a school disco – music revelling from every corner of the campus. Was I at the right place? Manning up some courage, I took out an excel gum, bought for a scenario just like this, and descended to HW408 for my first lecture of the day. Students sort of gathered in small groups at the door, no one really talking to anyone. I was hugely excited about my courses but after seeing how everyone was dressed, I became a little frightened of what might be in store for me over the year. Why don’t students dress professionally in the house of learning? Everyone gets nervous before they start university, it’s perfectly normal. The lecture hall filled up quickly; the professor began his lecture.  I found that being confident was key and I needed to be proactive in class to make friends. Then something dawned on me which I like to share in this article.

The pursuit of knowledge – the investment of time, talent and money – is not to acquiesce a reputation or even to secure a job. By coming to university, we embark upon a sacred religious journey. The higher purpose of studying medicine, engineering, mathematics, business, language, politics and/or technology is to benefit us in our relationship with Allah.

Education Serves Allah

Allah calls us to seek knowledge in the broadest sense. The Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said: “Seeking knowledge is an obligation upon every Muslim” [ Sunan Ibn Mâjah ].

All work done with the intention of pleasing Allah and following the sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) is a good deed and an act of worship. This means we are serving Allah by attending and doing well in university.

There are around 750 verses in the Qur'an that encourage us to think about the universe that surrounds us and all that has been created within it and placed at our disposal.

Allah says: “And when the Prayer is finished, then may you disperse through the land, and seek of the bounty of Allah: and celebrate the praises of Allah often that you may prosper” [ Sûrah al-Jumu`ah : 10]. Here Allah is commanding us to engage in commerce, investment, and economic development.

Allah says: “It is He who has made the Earth manageable for you, so traverse through its tracts and enjoy of the sustenance which He furnishes: but unto Him is the Resurrection” [ Sûrah al-Mulk : 15]. This verse alludes to agriculture, land development and excavation of natural resources. Allah has made us to live on the earth for the short duration of our lives and we are suppose to develop it, cultivate it and thrive in it. This is considered ibaadah when we do it for the sake of Allah - respecting His limits and seeking His pleasure.

“And among His Signs is the creation of the heavens and the Earth, and the variations in your languages and your colors: verily in that are Signs for those who know” [ Sûrah Rûm : 22]. This refers to studying geography, anthropology, linguistics and tourism.

In the field of medicine, the Prophet said: “Allah did not send down a disease without sending down a cure for it” [ Sahîh al-Bukhârî ]. This is why so many Muslims study science. Science helps us explore the creation of Allah and know Allah better through what He has sent down. As Muslims on campus, we should be motivated to study to know Allah. Allah is the source of all knowledge so the pursuit of knowledge should bring us closer to Him. Furthermore, Allah is honoured when we use our knowledge to serve others at the level of moral excellence.

A Bedouin once asked the Prophet (s.a.w): “What type of people are the best?” The Prophet (s.a.w) replied: “The best of them in moral character.” So go ahead, study the humanities - sociology, psychology, political sciences or public policy and inshaAllah Allah will reward you.

Our Education is Dawah

We are educating ourselves for Allah therefore our grades should be good and our attitude with others even better. The key to bringing Islam back and improving interfaith relations may well be a movement of Muslim students who are known for their intelligence, hard work, unswerving integrity and concern for the welfare of others. Those who do know Allah may be inspired to believe in Him; those who have stopped going to the Masjid may be influenced to reconsider Islam if they clearly see the quality and value of our education and services.

How America Lost Its Freedoms

The United States dissolved its Bill of Rights, the first 10 amendments which ensures the many (admirable) freedoms of its civilians earlier this year. Here is how they did it... 

Effective this year (since the past 13 years), to catch "terrorists" Americans have compromised freedom of speech, religion, press, as well as the right to assemble, the right to protest and petition the government. The Americans have accepted and submitted themselves to unreasonable searches and seizures without warrants or probable cause. Subsequently, there will be no due process in America - no fair or speedy public trial or  indictment by grand jury. The accused are secretly and indefinitely detained without counsel or knowing the evidence against him/her. The accused are tortured and punished in captivity. 

 Every government inherently seeks to become a tyrannical dictatorship — the Founding Fathers understood this tendency for nations to slide into tyranny, and they designed a system of separation of powers as well as checks and balances to function as firewalls against runaway oppression. The Bill of Rights is what has made America uniquely capable of fending off tyranny and maintaining some semblance of balance between the People and the government.

The Bill of Rights was a critical firewall that prevented the federal government from crossing the line into tyranny. Each right described in the Bill of Rights was meant to be an immutable, permanent right that could not be revoked, nullified or infringed. The real enemy of the US and traitor to the People are the government officials and media personnel who have actively overturned these sacred rights deliberately. 

What's next? The US government will take away our right to grow food in our backyard, seek homeopathic medicine, blog, own private property, refuse vaccination, have babies, home school our children? Will they stop at nothing? Will we say anything? 

Back to School - Beware!

Well, I couldn’t very well write about the final days of August with summer school ending and

moving into my new place without writing about what is on many minds this week – back to school!  Yes, the post-vacation glow is over, the sleeping in and seeing new landscapes (I hit the stunning shores of Halifax and PEI), the endless family time looking at whales, wondering if we could jump in for a swim with them. What has replaced those activities?  Mentally, it is anxiety of keeping up with all the readings. To be fair, I am reading some pretty interesting stuff this semester from Public Policy making to novels like Truth and Bright Water, Good Soldier, Dracula, Stone Angel, Obasan, Three lives and Women in White etc. Basically I am learning how messed up the government and lives of ordinary people are without Islam (can you spell depressing for me with a capital "D"?).  On a plus note, now I have a lot of blogging ideas to write about but I can't find the time for any of that honestly. I have caught a bad case of exhaustion. Anyone who said they got bored in summer and couldn't wait for school to start should be put in jail. Are you happy now? 

Then, it’s the “WOW, this is early (I have to be at work at 8 a.m.), but I can’t quite go to bed on time, but I feel so tired and weepy” - physical ailments, my flu and sinuses won't go away. The stress of finding a new hijab to wear everyday (or at least, every other day), the realization that if I leave just five minutes late from work, I will be half an hour late for class. The drag of walking to the bus stop - I wish I had my licence. I wish I was not at the mercy of my professors for grades. I think the only thing that is working out for me is my husband's innovative and nutritional lunches, which he packs for me everyday - Allah bless his soul - alhamdulillah for him! In fact three cheers for him mashaAllah for keeping me alive, so far. 

When you are mentally and physically worn out, its very likely that you are emotionally and

spiritually crashing as well. I know believe me, it is hard to go from zero to a hundred and ten percent in one day. You must have been licking Canada's best ice cream at Cow's Ice cream parlor one day and the next day you are playing superwife, teacher, coworker, student, notetaker, cook all at the same time is a bit pushing your limits - for the worst. Don't feel beat up, even if you are. Don't put your guard down for shaytaan. Don't give up praying!

Though we may justify putting it off, Salah - if prayed wholeheartedly with total remembrance of Allah is a real stress buster. As life presses and demands more of you and from you - you have to be in three places at once, don't be frightened or overwhelmed scurrying around unable to accomplish everything on your list.  It is not the end of the world, literally! Take your eyes off your planner and phone, stacks of papers and chocolates and turn to Allah. You don't have to be alone, at the mercy of our own abilities, ground yourself in Allah. He never slumbers, never tires (ayat al kursi, hello!)
Allah will make something good come out of your messy, over-hectic schedule and commitments. Make these tests you are experiencing your testimony on the Day of Judgement. You didn't sign up for this crash course in being a full time student with a job. No, Allah enrolled you in it. He has taken all the little things that irk you and rewoven it into your curriculum. Why? So He can hone out your best qualities. Find a blessing in every challenge, its bound to be there. 


We get too caught up with our lives that we forget the purpose of our lives - to pray. The Sahaba

(r.a) prayed and then kept on praying. They continued to bring their every need before Allah. Just a few days ago the weather in Toronto was excruciatingly humid. Instead of whining about how drenched our clothes were in sweat, did anyone of us step aside to pray? Whenever bad weather struck Medina, everyone in the city would come out to offer Salat al Istiskha - Umar (r.a) himself or Abbas (r.a) would led the congregation before Allah. Their strength was not their own body or minds but the unmatched Power and Greatness of Allah. They rested their burdens confidently in the Might of Allah and His Grandeur. Thus, in everything they were successful for Allah's refuge is the only true refuge. 


So I just wanted to say, in the back-to-school storm when homework is raining like cats and dogs and when your part-time job is also drowning you in a sea of work, take shelter in salah -  in it and through it, Allah will give you relief, aid and escape (aameen). 

ps. I still miss the whales

"Do you not see that Allah is exalted by whomever is within the heavens and the earth and [by] the birds with wings spread [in flight]? Each [of them] has known his [means of] prayer and exalting [Him], and Allah is Knowing of what they do" - Qur'an, 24:41 

Do you know your Tasbeeh?

The Choice of A Lifetime - Dedicated to My Mom

The 20 something Muslim women today are college going, far reaching, career oriented, switching between diets and fashions…seeking heartfelt romances and lasting adventures. We don’t have time, and nor do we aspire to become diaper changing, food-making, laundry-folding, messy moms and boring housewives. The truth is, many of us are running away from these labels. Being a mom and a wife is definitely not the highest paying job in the world; it is also not the most respected job in the world. What will my friends think if I told them I want to get married and raise a family after graduation? They will think I am a no-brainer, pathetic, loser!

A mother’s routine may feel very mundane but her impact on society is massive. The geniuses, the philanthropists, famous celebrities – anyone who has ever made a positive difference in the world was once a child molded into a meaningful person by his or her mother. Christina Pirello wrote for the Huffpost, “Children are living messages we send to the future.” And rightly so, we are all by-products of our mothers; vessels for their values and manifestation of their goodness.

If we go down memory lane and recall all the little things our mothers did for us, we would only feel so lucky to fill their shoes one day. Who fried us smiley faced eggs? Cut out our cards, decorated our room with pink or blue? Who dressed us up and waved us good-bye every morning? Our mothers filled our love tanks all the way to the top when they downed us with chocolates and encouragement. Our mothers are the women who brought faith into our lives. I know I would have never learned how to recite the Qur’an or understand its meaning if not my “Ammi”.  It’s a lifeline that still connects us. We take inspiration from our mothers to wear the hijab, to forgive and work hard.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it takes courage to be a mom – to endure the pains of pregnancy and labour, to nurse a sick and wailing baby till 2 a.m. it is mind numbingly boring and maybe even a tipping-point for some to burp, change, sleep, feed and repeat. But don’t let that fool you – being a mom will always be the bravest, utterly challenging and most difficult, full-time career anyone can never have. Mothers are mighty warriors, they are superheroes of human civilization: purification of our souls, preservation of our morals and goodly education cannot happen without our mothers' shelter, their prayers, sacrifices, watch and well-wishing. I am proud of mothers everywhere and awed by their commitment. I don’t buy it for a second that their job is ordinary. The highest reward in Islam is not for doctors, engineers or lawyers; near Allah, mothers make the claim to the biggest pay cheque - Paradise. We all know too well the hadith of the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) that “Paradise is at the feet of a mother” (Al-Tirmidhi). Society may no longer give due credit to mothers for their contribution but Allah has enjoined reverence and gratitude to their position for eternity.  

According to Child Welfare Committee 2004, nearly 100,000 children live without their parents in some form of shelter homes or government custody. This number does not include children who spend a majority of their time in day-care facilities or in front of television and computer technologies. What happens to children when they do not receive their mothers’ attention and love? According to Mental Health Canada, an estimated 10%–20% of Canadian youth are affected by a mental illness or disorder. The number of 12 to 19-year-olds in Canada at risk of developing depression is 3.2 million. Ontario Association of Children's Aid Societies states, “Only 41% of children who do not receive direct attention and care from parents graduate from high school as compared to 81% of children who do.” It is safe to conclude that without a mother, children are more likely to become sick, regress and engage in delinquent behavior. It seems only women can bring an end to the violence, ignorance and chaos rampant in the world today by simply being good mothers. 

Don't Give Charity!

Seriously, don't even bother! Don't give charity!

What about the hadith that states charity is obligatory upon every Muslim? The Prophet (s.a.w) said, that if a person does not have the means to give in charity, she should work (earn a living) thereby, benefiting herself from the income and giving some of it as charity, to earn reward from Allah. In the event that she cannot find work, she should help those in need by non-monetary means like by telling them something virtuous, smiling, and speaking to them with goodness. If she is not capable of doing even that then she should abstain from harming people and this will be counted as charity on her behalf. This is an authentic hadith recorded in Bukhari and Muslim.

The main cause of rift between Muslims is not the lack of charity. In Ramadan, Masajid raise hundreds of thousands of dollars, if not millions in charity. If truth be told, perhaps Muslims are the most charity givers because we all know too well its great reward from Allah and blessing. However, we assume that giving in charity or doing something nice for someone makes us better people. In reality, the payment of charity or any act of kindness should directly help us in purifying our wealth and our selves - it should never spawn arrogance.

Forget the indigent, orphans and other needy persons - its so common in families now that if a husband provides for his wife, he will be very quick to remind her of his charity. Whenever she is upset with him for not getting something she needs, he responds, don't I buy you enough things already?  Or if a brother buys something for his sibling, he will not hesitate to gloat of the favours he does them: you should be thankful I got you a hoodie for Eid. Even among sisters the desire to be thanked and appreciated is becoming a growing illness to the extent that we will only help another if we get praised in return. Otherwise we will backbite the sister we helped till the entire city has heard of her faults.

If you have wealth or talent and you are spending it on others, know that it is foremost a blessing given to you by Allah and your act of giving charity is nothing but a form of gratitude and form of worship which you owe Him. Allah has commanded you to "give something out of the wealth which Allah has bestowed upon you" - Qur'an, 24:33. It is  a quality of those who "believe in Allah and His Messenger that they spend from that which He has made you trustee" - Qur'an, 57:7 So your charity is not a service to anyone except yourself. You are doing simply what is required of you from your faith. Why are you then putting others down by making a big deal out what you are giving them?

Did you know, Allah could have made you poor? This wealth that you are really proud of and think it as all your's - Allah could have easily granted it someone with more humility and made you destitute. You would have been dependent on others for morsels of food and drops of water. Wealth should bring modesty in a person's life, not vanity. A true Muslim cultivates in her heart the joy of giving for the sake of Allah, recognizing that by doing so, she will please Allah. Charity teaches us that when we sacrifice our wealth or work to make someone else happy, we come close to Allah. Thus, its only when we kill our love for ourselves and the importance we attribute to ourselves do we achieve Allah's approval. Allah says, "They give them preference over themselves, even though poverty was their own lot. And those saved from the covetousness of their own souls; they are the ones that achieve prosperity" - Qur'an, 59:9


In Islam, poverty does not mean dishonour or humiliation, in the same way, being rich and having lots of material things does not equate to dignity and prestige. The only thing which makes us superior to others is  Taqwa. Do you think someone who fears Allah will give charity and then rub it in their face? Are we just giving charity out of pretentiousness? O look at me, I am such a generous person! Now pay me back for what I did for you? There are families in which spouses, siblings and relatives cannot stand to see each others' faces because of the hurt they have amassed over the years in keeping up with gift scores. The wife will taunt her husband for looking after his house and in turn never getting any acknowledgement from him. The parents will scorn at the kids for buying them shoes or jackets yet they don't listen. The relatives will brag about the jewelry they gave their niece at her wedding while their own daughter only got a cheap dress. Instead of producing love, gifts and charity spews hatred.

The reward of charity or giving gift is effaced if the act is accompanied with harassinment or bothering the recipient. Allah states, "Those who spend their substance in the cause of Allah, and follow not up their gifts with reminders of generosity or with injury, for them their reward is with their Rabb; on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve. Kind words and the covering of faults are btter than charity followed by injury. Allah is Free of all wants, and He is Most Forbearing. O you who believe, Cancel not your chairty by reminders of generosity or by injury, like those who spend their substance to be seen of men, but believe neither in Allah nor in the Last Day..." - Qur'an, 2:262-264. As discussed earlier, the irony is that when you give something to your family, it is their right upon you anyway. Allah has asigned for them a portion from your wealth. Again, you are not complimenting them in anyway by giving them what is already their's. Rather, they are cooperating with you by accepting your charity so you can get reward from Allah. Otherwise, your money and all your aclaimed kindness is of no benefit. The recipient of your gift is giving you a chance to purify your wealth and your heart so you should be thankful to the recipient. Not the other way around. My brother bought me a lapot as a gift and said, "I am grateful for the opportunity!" SubhanAllahi al adheem! He wanted to get the reward for the articles I write on my blog and other da'wah work so he got me a lapot as an investment for his Hereafter. What a smart way to think about charity mashaAllah. May Allah reward him lavisly with wisdom, with increased pure provision, a beautiful righteous wife and the highest level of Paradise aameen. You are not losing anything when you give someone a gift, you are actually banking on the good that they will do with your gift.

Allah says, "By no means shall you attain righteousness unless you give freely of that which you love; and whatever you give, of a truth Allah knows it well" - Qur'an, 3:92. Is it righteousness to nag? There are mothers who keep their children in trouble state of anxiety and pain by relentlessly annoying them with reminders. I raised you. I cooked for you. I taught you how to read and write. Yes, you did a lot of good to your children but now don't waste it by berating them. If your kids or spouse or someone else that you have taken a lot of care of does not cherish you then figure out your intentions - don't ruin the relation by badgering them.


 Figure out why you do good deeds. If your intention is to follow the commands of Allah and please Allah, then for Allah's sake do not irritate anyone with reminders of the good you did for them. Its between you and Allah. If you are sincere, you wouldn't want anyone to know the secrets you have with Allah. We hide our sins, then why not our good deeds? However, if your intention is to get appreciation from people, you want people to like you as a result - then for their sake, do not be so full of yourself that the people become sick of hearing about how great and bengin you are. No one likes a self-conciented stuckup person. People respect and commend a a person who is humble about her altruistic contributions.

Reflection: Protests in Egypt

Once again, Masajid are besieged and Muslims are desperately throwing themselves out of the way of machine-gun fire. The morgues are pilling with ranks of uncounted bodies. What is happening in Egypt is not anything remarkable from the routine that already exists in many Muslim countries across the table - death and maiming of the innocent. No matter how many times I read the news, I see wrenched only one reality - absence of true understanding of the Deen. How many bullets have to be fired, how many bulldozers closed in, how many protests slotted until we accept that peace and good governance is not a political template but a Divine ordinance. 

The current plight of Egypt cannot change unless Allah wills it: "There is no help or victory except from Allah, the Exalted, the Wise" - Qur'an 3:126. Why is Allah's help not with the Muslim Brotherhood? Why isn't Moorsi able to overcome the rebel gangs? "We will, without doubt, help Our Messengers and those who believe, both in this world's life and on the Day when the witnesses will stand forth" - Qur'an 40:51. Ibn al Qayyim noted that this verse means that whoever has a shortcoming in his faith will, thereby, receive a correspondingly lesser amount of help and victory from Allah. If a believer suffers any form of affliction from her enemy, it is due to her own sins, either leaving an obligatory act or performing a forbidden act, which represents weakness in her faith (ighaathab al-luhfaan min masaayid al shaitaan). Hence, Egyptians will see peace and tranquility restored to their land when they meet the criterion or fulfill the causes of Divine support. "Allah has promised to those among you who believe and work righteous deeds that He will, of a surety, grant them in the land inheritance (of power) and HE granted it to those before them. [He also promises] that He will establish in authority their religon, the one which He has chosen for them And [He promises] that HE will change their stand after the fear in which they lived to one of security. 'They will worship Me alone and do not associate anything with Me.' If they do reject faith after this, they are rebellious and wicked" - Qur'an, 24:55. 

So if I was an Egyptian, I wouldn't be at any demonstration at all. What made the Muslims win at Badr? It wasn't their large numbers or weapons - it was their faith and strong obedience to Allah. "Allah helped you at Badr, when you were a contemptible little force; then fear Allah; thus may you show your gratitude" - Qur'an, 3:123. The victory at Badr was only possible because the Sahaba (r.a) worked on their faith not fighting for 13 years. Don't the Muslims have the right to fight for their religious beliefs and live under them? Sometimes we fail to notice the fact that the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) lived the majority of his da’wah life as a minority in a non-Muslim society. 13out of the 23 years of da’wah, he (s.a.w) spent living as a minority in Makkah, which although was the city of Prophets like Egypt, it still was then a non-Muslim society. There is a lot for us to learn from this part of Seerah.
In Makkah, the Prophet (s.a.w) never started a political movement or caused people to die so he could have power - even if it was for all the right reasons - to spread Islam. The Prophet (s.a.w) says in a hadith found in Muslim, “The analogy of me and you is like someone sitting in the bonfire in the wilderness and insects and bugs are trying to fly into it. While I am holding your clothes, dragging  you away from the fire, you are rushing into the fire without thinking about it.” This is how the Prophet (s.a.w) viewed his mission, warn people against Hellfire. There is a hadith from Nu’man bin Bashir, found in the Musnad of Imaam Ahmed: “The Prophet (s.a.w) stood on the pulpit and delivered a speech to us. (His speech was): ‘I warn you (of) Hellfire! I warn you (of) Hellfire! I warn you (of) Hellfire!’ He (saws) was repeating it again and again; his volume was going up and up. If there was  someone in the market place they would be able to hear Muhammad (saws) from the masjid!” Tell me, in all of this, is the Prophet (s.a.w) campaigning for elections here? Are people dying to acquire a political seat?

Our first role in living as a minority amongst non-Muslims like Egypt and Canada is to proclaim the message of Islam publicly in a very clear way.  Knowledge which is food for the mind/soul, da’wah which is paying the taxes for this knowledge (by conveying it) and ibadah which is food for the heart (reaffirms and strengthens one’s belief). We must internalize these three basic components of Islam - knowledge, da'wah and ibaadah before we take on the government. If Islam is not fully in our hearts, how can we ever hope to establish it in the land?

What brought Muslims defeat at Uhud? They sinned! "Allah did indeed fulfill His promise to you when by His permission you were about to annihilate your enemy, until you flinched and fell to disputing about the order, and disobeyed it after He brought you in sight of the booty which you covet. Among you are some that hanker after this world and some that desire the Hereafter. Then did He divert you from your foes in order to test you" - Qur'an, 3:152.
So whats the lesson in here for Egypt? Allah does not inflict a nation brutal military dictatorship unless they do misdeeds and ignore the guidance and path of Allah. "Whatever good happens to you is from Allah; but whatever evil touches you, is from your own soul" - Qur'an, 4:79

Maybe our individual sins are too many to pick on the sins of others. As the saying goes: let her who is free of sin cast the first stone, otherwise stay at home! What are the maqasid of Shariah - the reasons for which Allah sent divine law? To protect Deen and then protect life! The death of Muslims by the thousands in demonstration is a clear indication that these protests in Egypt do not serve the Shariah but a non-Islamic agenda. We cannot accept non-Islamic means to establish Islam,  it will never work!
Ibn Taimiyyah was asked by his students if they should prevent the Tatar armies from drinking at night (give them Da'wah and good nasheeha). Ibn Taimiyyah stated that he is willing to tolerate a smaller evil - drinking of alcohol in order to keep a greater evil from occuring, the death of Muslims. If the Tatar drink, they will most likely to pass out from their drunkenness. However, if are ceased from drinking, they will raid Muslim neighbourhoods and kill scores of innocent. In the same way, we can endure the existence of a non-Islamic government, we will put up with it no matter how repugnant it is but we cannot stand the practice systematically wiping out Muslims and Masajid.

Allah Knows Best. 

You and Your In-laws

If there is one detail every engaged girl has consistently neglected over the course her wedding preparation, it's when she has smiled and answered thoughtlessly in the affirmative to living with her in-laws. Most to-be brides don't even realize what they are agreeing to until the feuds shatter their fairy-tale marriage. Yes, I know you are getting married to the guy of your dreams - you've had a crush on him since the day he came to your house (with his parents of course to ask for your hand in marriage 'ehem'). You are excited to see friends and family you haven't seen all that often in one room. You are excited for the gigantic cake with inch-thick layer of frosting. You are excited about your Middle East honeymoon. You are excited about your wedding dress and the nikkah ceremony. But you cannot ignore the freakishly important details of your life after the wedding ceremony is over - where are you and your husband going to live? What are you going to eat? What savings do you have to survive and raise a family? 

I think a lot of young girls walk into marriage totally unprepared and uninformed. While I cannot talk about all the things girls do wrong when talking to a prospective spouse, I will like to focus on the issue of living with in-laws. A lot of girls who decide to live with their in-laws after marriage are in for a lot of hurt feelings and power struggles. It is natural to want autonomy and independence with one's husband, every woman wants to control her nest - yet she cannot do that as a wife if her nest is someone else's property. 

In an ideal world, a girl may think of her future mother-in-law as her own mother and want to be as close to her as her own mother. However, in the real world when a girl moves in with her in-laws, she is not made to feel like she is not part of the family at all and this sentiment is communicated to her through unsolicited advise. You should wear more/less makeup/gold jewelry. Your food is too/less spicy. Get ready for a lot of criticism! Yes, despite the fact that you make her son happy, support him and take care of his needs - you will be told that his mother is the one who knows, you need his mother's input and that you are better off doing things his mother's way. 

His mother has been the his mom and his chief caretaker his whole life, your arrival as his wife may challenge her authority. Because of which your mother-in-law may not see how wonderful of a wife, cook, housekeeper and person you are. Despite your plus points, she may only see faults and may even complain to your husband about them. If you confront her directly, she will be deeply offended and if you let it go then you will become angry and frustrated. 

This is not to say that all relations with in-laws are messy, impulsive, inconsiderate and doomed to failure. Rather they should not be tread very lightly. You value religion and therefore you will try your best to get along with your husband's parents and family. The right way to do that is by knowing the ahkam of Shariah - the Islamic rules of jurisprudence on the matter. How much do you have to obey your in-laws? To what extent do you have to live with them? What kind of conflicts can arise in a joint-family system and how to solve them? I think the following is the best fatwa to date on the topic of a girl's relationship with her in-laws: http://www.islamqa.com/en/6388  I highly recommend it!

Vacation to the Maritime

This past week alhamdulillah I did a lot of travelling through 3 different provinces of Canada - Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island and New Brunswick. These are called the Maritime Provinces of Canada. Here, for the first time in my life, I traveled by boat to the middle of the Atlantic ocean, Bay of Fundy and other large bodies of water and saw real huge humpback whales and their baby calves. I also spent some time feeding baby cows and horses at a farm. 

With school and family life I was really distracted from noticing and appreciating Allah's creation. It was my own loss as I was contentiously making myself stressed out with responsibilities. Studying and taking care of people is important but the satisfaction and calm one gets from going into the ocean and seeing Allah's creation: lunging, diving, blowing and breeching is rewarding in itself. 

From this experience I learned that we, urban laptop and cellphone jockeys should take time out to hang out in the woods or at the beach and inhale the sassy scents of nature; bathe in greenery and fresh waters. Just like Islamic knowledge is necessary for intellectual growth, picnicking, hiking, scuba diving is necessary for spiritual happiness.  I think people from all cultures and religions take time out to unwind in nature expect Muslims. We choose to remain glued to screens thinking reading articles and listening to lectures will make our emaan strong when in fact this very overload of information is actually making us anxious, depressed and apathetic to the world around us. Seeing nature can cure our Taqwa deficit, reasoning disabilities and writing blocks.

Allah created this world for our use - we eat from its produce, seek shelter in its shade, make clothes and tools from its resources. However, Allah made our planet especially scenic and pleasing as a mercy for the believers so we can be awe inspired and a result, come closer to Him and become more obedient. When I came so close to the whales that I could look at them in the eyes; when I saw seals and sea birds frolic on the shore rocks, my heart became a fountainhead for love for Allah. I didn't see Allah from a fiqh perspective or Arabic grammatical interpretation but I got to love Him for the marvels of His creation. Nature helped me change my heart, focus on the vastness of the earth, the sea and the sky made by Allah instead of the narrowness of my problems and my fatigues. Nature helped purify my thoughts, overcome my negativity and disappointments. 

Of course, the fresh air, fresh foods and physical exercise is good for health. At the same time, nature and sight seeing also helps cope with reality; we feel comfortable in natural environments. So whenever we get a chance, we should break free from the wires, escape the arguments and try nature therapy: ride a boat, chase a butterfly, hear the echoes of a whale. The sunset and the rain is Allah's treatment for the overworked. I really recommend the outdoors to everyone. The Prophet (s.a.w) frequently took the companions (r.a) on swimming excursions, horseback riding tours and for camping in the desert. They farmed, slept under trees. Their lives close to nature made them not only physically fit but also strong of mind and emotionally at peace. There is something more serene in skipping rocks in the Bay of Fundy than in sending text messages. Living naturally made them soft and people of humility. They experienced Allah's tremendous ingenuity and power everyday and recognized their intrinsic helplessness in comparison. Ponds, trees, biodiversity yield the biggest bang in the brain - makes us happy and appreciative of Allah's blessings. For this reason I think vacations are a great idea. You don't have to go anywhere far, try exploring your own community or neighbouring provinces - splash your hands in the ocean, run them over a willow tree. 

Coping with a Dysfunctional Family

What is the secret to a happy, purposeful  life? Many of us think that our family is the key. It may seem like common sense but it does not make it true. Relationships are not the only thing that matter in life - help us grow, shape our values or change. If happiness is the cart; successful career, money and good physical health is the horse. I say this not to undermine the importance of maintaining good family ties but because sometimes coping with loved ones can be a very psychologically traumatic experience. Who doesn't want supportive, loving relationships to be happy? However, more often than not, parents will say to us very sicking and hurtful things. Or own siblings and friends will scar us. Sometimes we will suffer emotionally at the hands of our spouses. In general, the reality we face is that the people who are supposed to make us feel loved and protected are those who damage us intentionally, or without knowing. In these cases, individuals who think that good family relations are the pillar of happiness, will never be able to push their sadness and loneliness away. 

This is not to say that a person should replace her love for her family with love for money and power. Family is a small part of a much larger picture - and while family looms large for us in the moment, their importance is diminished when viewed in the context of our happiness. If your family has emotionally bankrupted you from the simple joys of life - excluding you from every family event, taking advantage of the favours you do for them etc - you feel really emptied out then obviously your family does not correlate with your inner well-being. Maybe you need to start looking for contentment elsewhere. 

You prospects for your life's satisfaction to come from your family are very bleak. Allah says in

Surah Hajj that you and what you seek [from your loved ones] are weak. Why would you bet your life on someone who cannot give you anything because even they need Allah for what they have. If Allah has not given them the capacity to be caring and helping - don't feel sorry for yourself, feel sorry for them! Once a Bedouin man saw the Prophet (s.a.w) kissing one of his children or grand children. He was stupefied, "O Messenger of Allah, you kiss your kids? I have 10 kids and I have never kissed any one of them ever." The Prophet (s.a.w) had no sympathy for this wretched individual because Allah did not put any affection or mercy in his heart. It is parents like these who drive their teenagers to attempt suicide in order to escape the instability and insecurity at home.  So don't be ashamed if your family doesn't make feel loved - you are not the only one. Even the Prophet (s.a.w) maintained a distance from his dysfunctional family.

The more goals you achieve in life, the better you feel. Our ambitions to do great things are far better than appeasing perpetually unsatisfied relatives. Find a connection at work, or in one of your university courses. Follow your dreams of learning broadcasting, Photoshop or cake decorating. As life goes on, our goals become even more crucial. Even if your family is perfect, it is bound to scatter or eventually pass away. As much as we want to, we cannot cling to our parents and siblings forever. Someone will get a better job in Halifax, someone will get married in Dubai. We will be forced to move out because own personal needs are too big to be accommodated by the family home. Someone will pass away. Bottom line is, like everything else, family ties do not last.  So if you want yourself to grow as a person and support lower stress levels - you will have to find something other than your family to live for. 

You may be thinking, how can I do something with my life after a terrible childhood and painful relations? I know there are situations that are very difficult to forgive and get over. 
First, ask Allah to give your heart strength to think clearly. Allow Allah to intervene into your state and give you peace of mind and tranquility. Whether it is fear, grief or anger that you are going through, make duaa to Allah to remove it from you entirely and guide you. 
Second, make the Qur'an something you tie your emotions to and keep your feelings together. You will be more calm and normal when you make a habit of reciting the Qur'an daily. Your inflamed wounds will heal when  you realize by understanding the Qur'an that Allah loves you and He has a plan for you. You are never alone and Allah is the closest to you. Allah says, "Fear not. Indeed, I am with you [both], I hear and I See." (20:46) The Qur'an gives us confidence that: (a) Allah is near (b) there is always wisdom and reward behind our problems and (c) Allah brings out ease from hardship. 
Thirdly, deal with your family challenges by being productive. The more you stay in a vegetative state at home, the more you will be depressed and become accustomed to being miserable all the time. This phase is absolutely self-destructive. Go out and find something creative to do so you can not only distract yourself from all the fights at home but also learn to feel good about yourself by gagging in imaan-boasting activities.