This week I finished a biography I have been meaning to read since last year. “Nani Amma” is a story of Dr. Farhat Hashmi’s mom. The more I read this magical, real-life fairy-tale about this exceptionally righteous woman, the more I cried, the more I wish I knew her personally. She lived her life devouted to her husband, her Rabb and her home as it was her highest calling and greatest joy.
“Nani Amma” raised twelve children and many more grandchildren; she was the architect of a remarkable generation of adults who continue to have a profound impact on the world. Her roles as Rabbani (godly) wife and mother was the most beautiful expression of her womanhood.
1. The most important characteristic of a godly mother is her relationship, not with her children, but with her husband. What she communicated to her children through her marital relationship stayed with her children for the rest of their lives. By watching her and her husband, her children learned the most fundamental lessons of life—love, self-sacrifice, integrity, virtue, sympathy, compassion, cooperation, understanding, and forgiveness. Her responses and reactions to her spouse, impressed upon her children’s hearts as a way of life, a way of being that was rooted in Taqwa (Allah consciousness – love, respect and humility) and Ehsaan (unconditional and extraordinary acts of benevolence).
“Nani Amma” and her husband were dedicated to the faithful worship of Allah and they were dedicated to caring for one another and serving their family (including extended relatives and cousins for Allah’s sake).
2. Her distinctive virtues were her constant faith, humility, kindness and generosity. Her prayers were constant. Despite her external beauty, wealth, or accomplishments, she was an unpretentious, and a modest woman. She studied the Qur’an at a young age which, guided every area of her life as a wife and a mother – her conversations, character, and conduct were rooted in the Qur’an and her children and grandchildren are mashaAllah a reflection of this today. Living with the Qur’an was not an occasional practise in her home but the very foundation upon which her home was raised.
Because her entire day, till old age, was structured around praying, reading, and reflecting upon the Qur’an, she became a confident, living embodiment of her faith. She often spoke to her children of Allah’s promises and modelled for them an attitude, that conveyed that the fulfillments of all physical, material and emotional needs was possible through Allah alone. Instead of focusing on what she lacked she displayed her trust in Allah’s sufficiency in her life and her gratitude to Him whether He provided her with little or a lot.
3. She devoted herself to her motherly responsibilities—she was fully committed to her home. She dedicated herself to nursing, loving cherishing, instructing her children and several grandchildren. She understood how vital early formative years are in children’s lives, when 90 percent of their personalities are formed. She prepared them in those foundational years for a lifetime of love and service to Allah—such a high calling. Don't mistake her devotion to raising her children for the modern tendency to make the child the center of the universe. She discharged her responsibility as a steward—one day she had to send them out to the world to teach and serve others. It wasn't about fulfilling her maternal needs through her children. It was about fulfilling her oath to Allah and her husband. It was about being faithful to her calling to be a Rabbani (godly) wife and mother.
May Allah adorn and embellish her soul with the lavish gifts of Paradise aamen.
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