It continues to amaze me how Allah’s Kalam and Hikmat from hadith plays out in our day to day life. We were told in the hadith today, not to be pretentious in front of others – not to fake a happy relationship with our spouse through gifts we have not received or moments which we have not shared. SubhanAllah!
حَدَّثَنَا سُلَيْمَانُ بْنُ حَرْبٍ، حَدَّثَنَا حَمَّادُ بْنُ زَيْدٍ، عَنْ هِشَامٍ، عَنْ فَاطِمَةَ، عَنْ أَسْمَاءَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم. حَدَّثَنِي مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ الْمُثَنَّى، حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى، عَنْ هِشَامٍ، حَدَّثَتْنِي فَاطِمَةُ، عَنْ أَسْمَاءَ، أَنَّ امْرَأَةً، قَالَتْ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنَّ لِي ضَرَّةً، فَهَلْ عَلَىَّ جُنَاحٌ إِنْ تَشَبَّعْتُ مِنْ زَوْجِي غَيْرَ الَّذِي يُعْطِينِي فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم " الْمُتَشَبِّعُ بِمَا لَمْ يُعْطَ كَلاَبِسِ ثَوْبَىْ زُورٍ ".
Narrated Asma:
Some lady said, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! My husband has another wife, so it is sinful of me to claim that he has given me what he has not given me (in order to tease her)?" Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, The one who pretends that he has been given what he has not been given, is just like the (false) one who wears two garments of falsehood."
| Reference | : Sahih al-Bukhari 5219 |
| : Book 67, Hadith 152 | |
| : Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 14 |
We live in an age of mass delusion; we pride ourselves for inventing and using technology that can filter and manipulate the reality of our relationships. We think that it is great feat of ingenuity, to completely reinvent our marriages online with artfully posed or photoshoped lies. The more we express or expose our marriage on social media, the more we are likely to exaggerate and falsify our relationship.
In truth we are simply seeking some validation. We want people to think that we are loved, noticed and appreciated by our husbands like a disney princess. When this need is not directed towards Allah, we seek to satisfy it online. When we don't have a happy and fulfilling relationship with Allah, we try to synthetically stage it with other people. Then prove it on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and Snapchat, 5 times a day.
It may be exhilarating at first to take all the selfies then doctor mundane moments to look like a glorious events. But in the end, all that hard work just brings long existential angst. The fakeness and emptiness behind each fabrication eventually catches up to us and hits us in the face with an ocean of sadness and hurt. When we realize our marriages will never be what we portray them to be, we are left feeling more lonely and insecure. At the same time, as a result of our distortions, we increase pressure on our family and friends to showcase their marriages online. We encourage a culture of decision and deception.
It may be exhilarating at first to take all the selfies then doctor mundane moments to look like a glorious events. But in the end, all that hard work just brings long existential angst. The fakeness and emptiness behind each fabrication eventually catches up to us and hits us in the face with an ocean of sadness and hurt. When we realize our marriages will never be what we portray them to be, we are left feeling more lonely and insecure. At the same time, as a result of our distortions, we increase pressure on our family and friends to showcase their marriages online. We encourage a culture of decision and deception.
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